Update
Tick, Tick, Tick ...time moves on steadily and the date gets closer...as the date gets closer the more I feel the need to pull back and start focussing on the next part of my journey. To focus my mind on the upcoming task like you might do if you were focusing on a job interview or a particularly hard exam.
Taking a step Back
It has been awhile coming and I knew maybe 3 weeks ago my walking days were numbered. My hip has been firing waring signals at me to "slow up" and finally on Wednesday night I was getting around home like a 90 year, shuffling along barely able to lift my leg, requiring my stick when moving around inside the house...Meryl yelled at me

..ok maybe it was more like a severe talking too

anyway long story short my days of walking 6 days a week are over. I took Thursday off and walked Friday and Saturday instead. I still maintained my weight easily this week and in fact lost slightly, to be sitting almost exactly on 90KGS...
"You must be excited"
I have been asked that several times.... I don't know that I am that excited.(maybe a little lol [emoji23] ) There has been too much fear for me to seriously consider anything else until recently. My mood at the moment would be subdued to flat but always better when I have some company. I am calm and not anxious at all, I am still fearful but even that has no strong power over me...maybe "contented" is the word I am looking for. I said to Cindy that I was "hunkering down" keeping myself in good health both physically and mentally. There have been several days where I have let myself fall into a "doubt trap" which usually inevitably leads to a rabbit hole...but that seems to have abated now...all the silly doubts over the last few years have all come back to be replayed in technicolour with surround sound seemed to have mainly stopped....I knew much of this was spurred on by my falling Oestrogen levels so I was ready for it. Being mentally prepared made many of those rabbit holes very shallow. I knew what to expect and preparedness myself a bit more.
Did I mention that stopping HRT.....
SUCKS! 
just sayin...if you are wondering is it as "bad" as you have heard...Roger That!!
YMMV...I am 14 days and starting to see physical signs(just the beginnings) as well as experiencing the moods changes. Its is quite unpleasant at times but after everything I have been through I am not prepared to add any Oestrogen because if there is going to be a first person who's surgery is stopped because of "Oestrogen levels" you just know it
will be me LOL
I am trying to learn how to use Tapatalk so I can use my iPad to communicate with the board whilst away. Funny enough... I got told the other night that I seem a bit preoccupied lately...guess I am a bit. Till next update...
Take care
Liz
17D01H30M BWCA?
Edit:I removed a section talking about fear as I want to discuss that as a seperate post and I also made other minor changes to make it easier to read.