Okay, a light hearted post follows.

I was never a manly person, and avoided many of the habits and behaviours that come with being socialised as a male.

But one habit that I did pick up is the little nod guys give to other men, as some sort of "hello, I see you" thing.

And oh girl, no matter how much effort I put into my appearance and body language, I still find myself giving "the nod".

Honestly, this might sound silly and trivial, but for me I think it is the number one thing I do that gives away the old version of my public self.

It's no big deal, but every time I catch myself doing it, I have a mixture of laughter and "d*mn, must stop doing that" inside.

Quote from: dee82 on November 21, 2018, 09:57:09 PM
Okay, a light hearted post follows.

I was never a manly person, and avoided many of the habits and behaviours that come with being socialised as a male.

But one habit that I did pick up is the little nod guys give to other men, as some sort of "hello, I see you" thing.

And oh girl, no matter how much effort I put into my appearance and body language, I still find myself giving "the nod".

Honestly, this might sound silly and trivial, but for me I think it is the number one thing I do that gives away the old version of my public self.

It's no big deal, but every time I catch myself doing it, I have a mixture of laughter and "d*mn, must stop doing that" inside.

OMG I know about this way too much I still do the man nod but what I do to compensate it is smile big it seems to help because men don't smile big so it kind of helps a little bit

If you can't accept yourself,  how can you expect others to accept you?

Now I have the opposite problem.

As a man, I need to learn to return that nod when its given to me! 

Ryuichi

Quote from: dee82 on November 21, 2018, 09:57:09 PM
Okay, a light hearted post follows.

I was never a manly person, and avoided many of the habits and behaviours that come with being socialised as a male.

But one habit that I did pick up is the little nod guys give to other men, as some sort of "hello, I see you" thing.

And oh girl, no matter how much effort I put into my appearance and body language, I still find myself giving "the nod".

Honestly, this might sound silly and trivial, but for me I think it is the number one thing I do that gives away the old version of my public self.

It's no big deal, but every time I catch myself doing it, I have a mixture of laughter and "d*mn, must stop doing that" inside.

I recently had a similar experience! It was at work and was to a delivery person. Right after he left I went into my office and chastised myself!

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 21, 2018, 10:16:39 PM
Now I have the opposite problem.

As a man, I need to learn to return that nod when its given to me! 

Ryuichi

Ryuichi,
Once you do it a few times, you will never stop! It is the most effective way men have come up with to say hi, without talking, showing emotion or having to be close to each other.

You will find that "The Nod" can also say more than "Hi". An attractive person walks by and a man can give you a nod and you nod back. You just had an entire conversation about the way they look and what you would do with them if possible.

It is one of those small thing that really gives you away as a female or passes you as a man.

Lacy

On the reverse side I enjoy the way women do it they smile at each other and the first time it happened to me it was great validation I'm part of the club [emoji2]


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Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 21, 2018, 10:16:39 PM
Now I have the opposite problem.

As a man, I need to learn to return that nod when its given to me! 

Ryuichi

Not only that, but eventually you'll learn to recognize and execute different kinds, each with their own subtle facial expressions, lengths of eye contact, and linked body language. The Nod can be a greeting, an acknowledgement, a challenge, or a mix of so many other things. Off the top of my head I can think of a couple I use routinely:


The Urban Sidewalk Nod, which means "I see you, and I have my eye on you." You look directly into the other guy's eyes as you approach to pass, and you make sure he makes eye contact before you nod and break contact. You'd think this would raise tensions, but it doesn't. It actually lowers tension because each guy knows the other guy can't surprise him.

The Elevator Nod, which means "I am only going to pretend that you exist for this one moment." Brief eye contact, if any, before you settle into place.

The Bar Stool Nod, which means "Mind the personal space, buddy, I'm sitting here." No eye contact. Use it when you sit down or he does. I always add a "hello" to make sure he can't pretend he didn't see me.

See? All kinds! 

Quote from: Battle Goddess on November 22, 2018, 01:34:01 AM
Not only that, but eventually you'll learn to recognize and execute different kinds, each with their own subtle facial expressions, lengths of eye contact, and linked body language. The Nod can be a greeting, an acknowledgement, a challenge, or a mix of so many other things. Off the top of my head I can think of a couple I use routinely:


The Urban Sidewalk Nod, which means "I see you, and I have my eye on you." You look directly into the other guy's eyes as you approach to pass, and you make sure he makes eye contact before you nod and break contact. You'd think this would raise tensions, but it doesn't. It actually lowers tension because each guy knows the other guy can't surprise him.

The Elevator Nod, which means "I am only going to pretend that you exist for this one moment." Brief eye contact, if any, before you settle into place.

The Bar Stool Nod, which means "Mind the personal space, buddy, I'm sitting here." No eye contact. Use it when you sit down or he does. I always add a "hello" to make sure he can't pretend he didn't see me.

See? All kinds! 

I should take notes!  Thanks for the info, I'm going to start using them.

Just one question.  Do I nod up or nod down?

Maybe this info should be added to the 'Being Socialized Male 101' thread. 

Ryuichi

A post about the man nod LOL I love it,  this topic / thread sounds like an episode of Seinfield!

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 22, 2018, 01:58:27 AM
I should take notes!  Thanks for the info, I'm going to start using them.

Just one question.  Do I nod up or nod down?

Maybe this info should be added to the 'Being Socialized Male 101' thread. 

Ryuichi

Depends.

The way I use it, Down is for acknowledgment. Up implies imminent action, either on my part or to be taken on theirs.

For instance, eye contact, a nod up, and a flick of my eyes in a direction means "pay attention to that."

If I instead maintain eye contact after my nod but then incline my head in a certain direction, I'm telling them that something stupid is going on over there, and that I find it either a source of humor or an annoyance, and based on whether I seem to be smiling with the corners of my eyes, the other guy is supposed to either chuckle or go over there and take care of whatever blindingly obvious business any regular guy could see needs taking care of.

Sometimes I amaze myself with how manipulative I really am when I sit down and think about it. Oh, well. Whatever works.

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Great topic. I still catch myself giving the nod now and then.

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 22, 2018, 01:58:27 AM

Just one question.  Do I nod up or nod down?

lol Never gave much thought to this one way or another! According to Wikipedia it's -> "the casual nod up or the formal nod down" (whatever THAT means!)

       There are corollaries to this practice: hat-tipping (up? which means formal head down?) was a fairly common practice (until the era of ball-caps came along?) Among ladies a reciprocating nod was rare (a quick, slight curtsey instead?)
       And then there's the motorcycles passing "low wave" - whereas one lets go of handlebar with non-throttle left hand (in U.S. at least) and catch the wind down low, not really "a gay like wave". Where I live in the almost year-round biker South this practice is practically *mandatory* and, as far as can tell, gender neutral!

I'll have to pay attention. I don't think I've given a nod since the first time I got the smile and Hi from another gal, I smile ... or not if it's a guy that's not worthy (trust me, I work with many that don't deserve acknowledgement)

So if we are to shut our nods off, does this mean that I can "nod off" in boring meetings now?

Chrissy

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 22, 2018, 01:58:27 AM
I should take notes!  Thanks for the info, I'm going to start using them.

Just one question.  Do I nod up or nod down?

Maybe this info should be added to the 'Being Socialized Male 101' thread. 

Ryuichi

I always felt that a nod down was a sign of submission. It's an up Nod all the time for me. It is especially enjoying when they go down and you go up!

Lacy

Quote from: RealLacy on November 22, 2018, 09:46:32 AM
I always felt that a nod down was a sign of submission. It's an up Nod all the time for me. It is especially enjoying when they go down and you go up!

Lacy

I always did the short quick nod down as acknowledgement. A deeper slow nod is one of respect to an equal. Submissive would be a nod down and stay down so as to avoid confrontation

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 22, 2018, 01:58:27 AM
I should take notes!  Thanks for the info, I'm going to start using them.

Just one question.  Do I nod up or nod down?

Maybe this info should be added to the 'Being Socialized Male 101' thread. 

Ryuichi

Like many things male it's not too complicated. It's mostly sports this, sports that, burps, farts, nods, and grunts. Alone men vocabulary can also get quite vulgar.

Also the most peculair things after a fight a lot of times the men end up friends. I have never understood this aspect. It's almost like once they know their place they can be happy.

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on November 22, 2018, 01:58:27 AM
Just one question.  Do I nod up or nod down?

I am pretty sure I have never seen a nod up, and I know I have never done one.  That would just be weird.  I have seen it in movies, where it means, "Hey, you, get over here", but never in real life.

The quick nod down is a sign of respect, not necessarily submission.

As my "old" self I never gave nods,  up or down, I would almost always say hello, have a nice day, or something like that to passerby's that caught my eye or caught their eye.  I still do that as a full-time female but I have to monitor myself when I  am doing that with men... they usually take it as "whoa, that blonde must like me"
Danielle 

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 22, 2018, 03:02:57 PM<snip>... they usually take it as "whoa, that blonde must like me"

male mental thoughts
OO!! She showed interest in me. What do I do? What do I say? How should I act?
One of three things
1 - Say something stupid
2 - Do something stupid
3 - let the moment pass and kick themselves for what they should have done, typically 1 or 2 above.

Quote from: NatalieRene on November 22, 2018, 01:06:06 PM
Like many things male it's not too complicated. It's mostly sports this, sports that, burps, farts, nods, and grunts. Alone men vocabulary can also get quite vulgar.

Also the most peculair things after a fight a lot of times the men end up friends. I have never understood this aspect. It's almost like once they know their place they can be happy.

I ended up fast friends with some guys in the service after we threw hands. It's a respect thing, in my estimation.

Hugs, Devlyn