Like we all feel,i'm Having a mournful moment.

I mourn 41 years not being a girl
I mourn hiding away in my head when I should be loving my wife and kids in the here and now.
I mourn how the above two positions are contradictory.
I wish I could be 18 again, those summers in Ibiza when magic seemed possible.
I wish I didn't have this big invisible wall holding me back from my mum.

I wish I was more grateful for the amazing blessings life has given me.

Ok..I feel better for my metaphorical weep.

Imagine if I was on hormones!

Quote from: Sarah77 on November 26, 2018, 06:16:04 PM
Like we all feel,i'm Having a mournful moment.

I mourn 41 years not being a girl
I mourn hiding away in my head when I should be loving my wife and kids in the here and now.
I mourn how the above two positions are contradictory.
I wish I could be 18 again, those summers in Ibiza when magic seemed possible.
I wish I didn't have this big invisible wall holding me back from my mum.

I wish I was more grateful for the amazing blessings life has given me.

Ok..I feel better for my metaphorical weep.

Imagine if I was on hormones!

@Sarah77:
Dear Sarah:
All of us transitioners that were not able to start our transition journeys in our early teens have many of the very same feelings that you stated.
 
We have to come to the realization that we CAN NOT change the past.  The past is what makes us who we are today.  All we can do is go forward...  it is never too late to start traveling in our journeys to realize our dreams.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Wishing you well in your journey.

Hugs,
Danielle

I have thought a great deal about the past and what I would have done different. The positive result from that is simply realizing I can't waste any more time thinking about the past. Move forward in the present with a purpose.

The movie "The Butterfly Effect" is one of my favs as it shows rewinding time and changing things in a way that you might think will be helpful just ends up making everything worse. Sometimes destiny finds us later in life, just embrace it the best you can. Best wishes.

Watch videos of Golden Retrievers to feel better. There is this one that hugs people. 

Hello again Sarah

I understand the mourning. We all have those feelings and I appreciate the sadness.

I started on my journey at 62 and am now 9 months on HRT and will publicly transition in 2019.

Glad you are now feeling better. Best action after hopefully a short period of involuntary mourning is to think about the journey you have now started and all the happiness you have to look forward to by being your true self.

Hugs

Pamela