I have always had a real phobia of large hairy spiders. Here is Australia having a large Huntsman living indoors is not uncommon. They grow quite large, up to 15cm from one leg tip to another.

I have never been able to cope with them. Most of the time you don't see them, but when it is rainy weather they sometimes sneak out from their usual spots and hang around on walls.

If one appears I would be ridiculously anxious and unable to go in the same room. I would beg my partner to somehow remove it. Or I ask can we please just spray it? I know that is a horrible thing to do to a harmless creature, but it was the only way I could stop being nervous.

That's the thing, Huntsman spider are not that venomous to humans. The don't normally bite people and you won't die or anything.

Anyway, last night there was a big one in bathroom, right near where the towels hang. But you know what? I felt no fear.

After years of running the other way, I actually stopped and had a close look at this amazing creature.

I decided to leave it be. I actually believe this is linked to my own acceptance of being transgender.

All the years of fearing what it would mean if I came out openly as a transgender woman, I think part of my fear was directed towards these spiders.

My loathing of them was a fear of the different, but now they are accepted, just as I can accept who I am.

It's one way to explain this sudden lack of fear. I certainly haven't done anything else to reduce my fear of these hairy (and very fast running) eight legged friends.

I really believe the peace I felt last night while looking at the spider, is one part of the wholeness I now feel within my self.

I hope this story is not too weird.

~Dee

Quote from: dee82 on November 27, 2018, 05:38:29 PM
I hope this story is not too weird.

OK, I'll be honest, it is pretty weird!   JK

I am always happy when someone makes a big step of self-discovery.  Way to go in conquering another fear!

@dee82
Very interesting way of conquering your fear of spiders....  I am not quite certain exactly how it relates to accepting yourself as a transgender woman, but hey, you killed 2 birds with one stone.

    You are over your fear of spiders... and
        You can better accept yourself as transgender.

Who are any of us to argue with your apparent success? !!!

Thanks for sharing,
Danielle

Spiders Rock!!!


In our family any spider seen wandering around was shepherded under a sink or radiator so the cats wouldn't get them. The logic was that the spider was hunting something, and the spider's presence was preferable to whatever that was.

I had a pet tarantula many years ago. Her name was Fluffy. I had her for 15 years. I would put my hand in her tank and sometimes she would crawl on it and sit there for awhile. I don't know if she did that because it was warm, or maybe she liked me. I used to hide valuables under the sand in her tank, so she also acted as a watch dog.

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 27, 2018, 06:28:02 PM
@dee82
Very interesting way of conquering your fear of spiders....  I am not quite certain exactly how it relates to accepting yourself as a transgender woman...
Danielle

Danielle, maybe Freud could explain it better than me. haha.

But on a certain level I am convinced that self-acceptance has spilled over into my attitude towards all creatures, even hairy ones with eight legs!

Denice, a tarantula must have been an amazing pet. Don't think I am quite at the "spider = good pet" way of thinking, but definitely going to be kinder to them from now on.

~Dee

Spiders will only bite you if you threaten their life, by pressing their body. Or also by getting too close when there's an egg sack..and even then it may be a dry bite or a bite with just a little venom, not the full strike.

Besides, I prefer spiders than disgusting disease transmitting bugs, so there you go. I never kill any spiders at all. In fact, now that you mention it, there's a little spider who lives under the kitchen table, I suspect it's just a common house spider. It used to be so afraid of me, it'd run away to safety. Now it just lingers there, going about her business. Incredible, huh?

We save all spiders in our house. As others said, they are preferable to whatever it is that they're hunting. That said, when we see a black widow (venomous to humans) we do spirit it outside, even in winter. So sorry, but too creepy for inside our house. We don't get spiders as big as you saw, Dee, but we watched an amazing battle between a spider and a wasp that it caught in its web (the spider won).

As long as I don't have to touch them, I leave them be. But transitioning will finally give me an excuse not to have to touch them anymore... it will be nice not to have to man up each time I have to take one outside. Thankfully, my daughter loves them. She wants a huge one for a pet when I jokingly told her she could have a pet spider, meaning one of the little ones that run about the house... I regret saying that now.

When I lived in California, I had two black widows in my apartment... one lived under the bathroom sink and there was a nice pile of dead woodlice outside its home. I let that one be. The other lived on the window, that one I ended up vacuuming up and emptied it outside. 

I don't mind a small little harmless spider but what you talk about, 15cm from one leg tip to another, would FREAK ME OUT!!!! I would just cry and scream. Gosh Im so glad that I never meet any of those spiders.

If I see a 5 inch spider in my apartment I think I would seriously freak out. Good for you. I would have to say that is huge progress.

Wow! 15cm? Magnificent creature.

We live in a 100yo house, so spiders are constant companions, and I'm glad to have them. Too many cracks in ancient walls, too many hidden hidey-holes for their prey to live in. Without spiders, we'd be besieged.

But I do wonder - you don't evolve a Great Big Spider except to bring down Great Big Prey, and it wouldn't live in your house unless it had something to eat.

What else lives in your house?

Quote from: Battle Goddess on November 28, 2018, 02:34:26 PM
But I do wonder - you don't evolve a Great Big Spider except to bring down Great Big Prey, and it wouldn't live in your house unless it had something to eat.

What else lives in your house?

Well that's an interesting thought! From a local website

The huntsman eats a variety of insects, arthropods, small lizards and frogs. The prey is not captured in a web but actively stalked and run-down with stealth and speed. The fangs are large and powerful and hold the food item until it is immobilised by the spider's venom. Although bites can be painful to humans and occasionally cause mild nausea and headaches, the symptoms are usually only localized pain and swelling.

I'ver never wondered about that, because I have never seen them actually eating anything. I think one lives behind the bathroom mirror. Maybe if I look behind I will see all sorts of interesting remains.

One thing I want to point out is that I have never had a problem with little spiders. They have always been welcome to go about their business.

We don't have the Black Widow in Australia, but a similar sized spider called the Red Back. It is highy toxic, so while I wouldn't quite encourage one, if they are in an out of the way place, the convention wisdom is that they keep to themselves and so don't disturb them. Having said that, I haven't seen one inside for a long time. So it hasn't been a concern.

Quote from: Alice (nym) on November 28, 2018, 08:20:28 AM
But transitioning will finally give me an excuse not to have to touch them anymore... it will be nice not to have to man up each time I have to take one outside.

Totally relate to the need to "man up" in the past. I always thought it was so unfair.

I can see the connection between greater self-confidence, now that you're out, and diminished fear of something like a spider. Courage in one area breeding courage in another.