Sadie I'm sorry to hear you didn't have a great day but - consider you have so many more resources and options now compared to the past.  We are here with you.  And best wishes for your mom's arm, hoping for a speedy recovery.

Quote from: Kendra on November 06, 2018, 08:33:59 PM
Sadie I'm sorry to hear you didn't have a great day but - consider you have so many more resources and options now compared to the past.  We are here with you.  And best wishes for your mom's arm, hoping for a speedy recovery.

Thank you for the wishes Kendra, but my reality is that I haven't had access to anything and nor will I for the foreseeable future. I'm tired, so probably shouldn't be posting here.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Mum is not going to need surgery, which is a relief. She may lose some mobility but not so much to be disabling.

Thank you all for your wishes

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Shy on November 07, 2018, 02:03:54 PM
Mum is not going to need surgery, which is a relief. She may lose some mobility but not so much to be disabling.

Thank you all for your wishes

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

@Shy
Dear Sadie:
This is certainly very good news the you reported.   
I am very happy for you and for your mother....

So, how is your day going today for you, better than yesterday hopefully

Thanks for updating us.
Hugs and continued well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on November 07, 2018, 02:43:19 PM
@Shy
Dear Sadie:
This is certainly very good news the you reported.   
I am very happy for you and for your mother....

So, how is your day going today for you, better than yesterday hopefully

Thanks for updating us.
Hugs and continued well wishes,
Danielle

Thank you Danielle, it's been a little weight lifted.

peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Sadie that's awesome news! 

Thanks Kendra, for the past few weeks I've had to do the duck paddling frantically underwater analogy whilst trying to manage my own feelings of disappointment on top of family and life issues.

I feel a little better today. My dad has shortened my name to Sade (as in Jade) which was nice. It shows he's much more comfortable with me now.

I feel like it would have been so much easier to have put on the male mask and forget everything, but the strange thing about living full time for the past few years is that there's seems to be no space left to pop back in and hide   That would just seem weird! I guess it's one of those lessons that can only come with experience and time. Or at least for me it has been.

Anyway, the trustees for the charity I've been doing the design work for have approved and are very happy with my efforts. This is all because I'm able to be myself. They only know me as Sadie. It's my first achievement of living a productive, authentic life. It's not all about transition anymore, that's just for the dysphoria and making me feel more comfortable in my own skin. The real important stuff is that people get to know the real me.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Sadie that's awesome your dad is growing comfortable with who you really are. 

I was not expecting any acceptance from my mom or dad and was surprised how well they responded when I came out my parents last summer.  So when it was time to legally change my name, I asked my parents to choose my new middle name.  My dad immediately said "Faye" which is the female version of his middle name (Fay). 

Hi Sadie,

  Just checking in on you again. I saw that your mom doesn't need an operation which is good news. Your dad sounds like he is accepting you better and as you said becoming more comfortable. Though I do have some concern over the shortened name. Seem I have seen Sade before somewhere, perhaps on a marquis somewhere.
But I think the best news for us is with your design work and them getting it approved. It is great that you can be accepted as yourself there. That my dear is fantastic! Keep up making that great progress and don't forget to pop in and give us updates regardless of the situations you find yourself in. We would like to know what is happening with you. Yes, we are a nosy group.

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: Kendra on November 09, 2018, 07:37:59 PM
Sadie that's awesome your dad is growing comfortable with who you really are. 

I was not expecting any acceptance from my mom or dad and was surprised how well they responded when I came out my parents last summer.  So when it was time to legally change my name, I asked my parents to choose my new middle name.  My dad immediately said "Faye" which is the female version of his middle name (Fay).

Your dad chose well. I always liked the name Fay

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Laurie on November 09, 2018, 10:08:13 PM
Hi Sadie,

  Just checking in on you again. I saw that your mom doesn't need an operation which is good news. Your dad sounds like he is accepting you better and as you said becoming more comfortable. Though I do have some concern over the shortened name. Seem I have seen Sade before somewhere, perhaps on a marquis somewhere.
But I think the best news for us is with your design work and them getting it approved. It is great that you can be accepted as yourself there. That my dear is fantastic! Keep up making that great progress and don't forget to pop in and give us updates regardless of the situations you find yourself in. We would like to know what is happening with you. Yes, we are a nosy group.


Hugs,
  Laurie

Lol, I'm more of a mamquis than a marquis and it's Sade (as in Jade) not Sade (as in yard)! 

Hope you are well Laurie,  I'll try to catch up with everyone when I have time, it's just a bit full on in Sadie world atm.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Just a little update, but really not very trans. related.

Still got my head buried in learning code, they say the first three months are the hardest, but I'm slowly getting the swing of things and learning three languages now. I think there's only so many levels of abstraction me little noggin' can manage before I start talking in code

I'm really living the life of a hermit atm. But enjoy my little shopping trips for food and essentials where I'm totally happy just to be myself. The whole I'm trans. thing has gone from whaaaaaa to meh. It's back to normal life, bills, and trying to keep a roof over my head.

I don't have any kind of clinical contact anymore, stopped seeing my therapist and doctor. It seemed a bit pointless when the issue is out in the open but with no help on the horizon. There's only so much 'keep taking the pills' I can swallow. Just need the right kind of pills and patches and I'll be happy. This wait was starting to damage me, so I've let it all go, 'ke sera sera'.

Mum's doing o.k. and sister keeps sending me holiday pics from an isolated island in the Maldives. Wish I was there with her watching the flying fish from the veranda

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Hi Sadie

Great to see you dropping by. You sound a bit flat at the moment I hope you are Okay. I can understand being busy especially when it comes to learning coding. I learnt one language when I was studying IT a few years ago and it nearly drove me insane but you say this is your third!! Oh heck...I do understand why you are feeling like you do about it.

You don't seem all that bothered that you don't have any clinical contact? I hope you don't have too much longer to wait I know that is always the difficult part.


Take care


Liz

Hi, Sadie!

I used to use coding work as my Great Escape from gender dysphoria.  I found that when I was buried in a project, living that hermit lifestyle, and thinking software (sometimes to the point that I was simulating it in my head!), that it didn't bother me so much.

I was a heck of a good engineer, designing, coding, and troubleshooting by burying myself in projects.  When I retired I lost that mechanism for dodging the increasingly severe dysphoria, and ultimately had to accept myself and transition.

I'm glad you have this project, learning these languages, to dig into for now.  I understand how that helps!

Hugs, Michelle P.

Hi ladies,
I had my eye brows threaded at the mall in a little shop and I am hooked. Asked to make the kind of masculine and feminine the first time the second time I said the hell with it make them look very feminine and she did and I Love love it. And today when I got home from work my SO had left me a huge red Ultra box kit of all kind of goodies  And some brushes. Now that's what I am talking about. Now to learn how to use it so I don't look like Mimi from the Drew Carey show.

AJ

Hi Sadie,

  I am glad you stopped by to give us and update. I agree with Liz that your update isn't the best of news and sounds like you are pretty much giving up on getting to where you can transition as you want. That my dear, is not something we like to see. It raises our concern for you and your well being. I can understand the frustrations you are encountering and that it is having a negative impact on your life. But to just throw in the towel.... well Hun, that is bothersome. I, we, want nothing more than to see you succeed in your endeavors.
  I'm glad your Mom and sister are doing okay. If you do run off to that island can you stop by and pick me up on the way? You can drop me off on an uninhabited deserted island as long as I can find food and water. I that that will serve my needs nicely.
  Hey girl hang in there will ya?

Hugs,
  Laurie

Quote from: LizK on November 29, 2018, 04:44:39 PM
Hi Sadie

Great to see you dropping by. You sound a bit flat at the moment I hope you are Okay. I can understand being busy especially when it comes to learning coding. I learnt one language when I was studying IT a few years ago and it nearly drove me insane but you say this is your third!! Oh heck...I do understand why you are feeling like you do about it.

You don't seem all that bothered that you don't have any clinical contact? I hope you don't have too much longer to wait I know that is always the difficult part.


Take care


Liz

Thanks Liz

I am a bit low and probably have lost my direction a little. I'll bounce back, I usually figure things out.

Hope you are well in that upside-down world of yours

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Michelle_P on November 29, 2018, 06:34:28 PM
Hi, Sadie!

I used to use coding work as my Great Escape from gender dysphoria.  I found that when I was buried in a project, living that hermit lifestyle, and thinking software (sometimes to the point that I was simulating it in my head!), that it didn't bother me so much.

I was a heck of a good engineer, designing, coding, and troubleshooting by burying myself in projects.  When I retired I lost that mechanism for dodging the increasingly severe dysphoria, and ultimately had to accept myself and transition.

I'm glad you have this project, learning these languages, to dig into for now.  I understand how that helps!

Hugs, Michelle P.

Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing Michelle, learning something new and redirecting my focus instead of wallowing in dysphoria. Usually by the end of the day I'm too tired to do or think about anything, which for the moment is the best place for me. I'm sure everything will work itself out in the end.

Thanks for looking in, it helps to know that you approached things in a similar way.

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Anjanette Miranda on November 29, 2018, 07:31:25 PM
Hi ladies,
I had my eye brows threaded at the mall in a little shop and I am hooked. Asked to make the kind of masculine and feminine the first time the second time I said the hell with it make them look very feminine and she did and I Love love it. And today when I got home from work my SO had left me a huge red Ultra box kit of all kind of goodies  And some brushes. Now that's what I am talking about. Now to learn how to use it so I don't look like Mimi from the Drew Carey show.

AJ

Yes, I enjoy my monthly threading, it's one of those little things that makes a huge difference

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie

Quote from: Laurie on November 30, 2018, 01:09:59 AM
Hi Sadie,

  I am glad you stopped by to give us and update. I agree with Liz that your update isn't the best of news and sounds like you are pretty much giving up on getting to where you can transition as you want. That my dear, is not something we like to see. It raises our concern for you and your well being. I can understand the frustrations you are encountering and that it is having a negative impact on your life. But to just throw in the towel.... well Hun, that is bothersome. I, we, want nothing more than to see you succeed in your endeavors.
  I'm glad your Mom and sister are doing okay. If you do run off to that island can you stop by and pick me up on the way? You can drop me off on an uninhabited deserted island as long as I can find food and water. I that that will serve my needs nicely.
  Hey girl hang in there will ya?

Hugs,
  Laurie

Hi Laurie 

No towel throwing yet, I'm still full time, biding my time. It's just hard sometimes to watch my life drift away in limbo land. I have done all I can do, everything else is out of my control. I'm Sadie, that's for life

Hope you are well,

Peace and love and all that good stuff,

Sadie