It's confirmed. Within a month I will be starting on HRT.
That's so awesome and I am so happy and scared. I'm scared because there's always that doubt, sometimes it's so small I don't even notice it, sometimes it takes up a large part of my thought.
The doubt that I am a woman that is.
I have a male body, I am make social adapted, I like typically male things yet I am almost certain I'm not male.
So, my question is, say I'm three months into HRT, will I know if it's the wrong thing to do? Will my mind say "ha you fool, you are a man afterall'?

These are just normal worries I am guessing, it's a huge upheaval of everything in your life to say "actually I'm a woman but don't treat me any different please" and expecting people to say "okay no problem"

It feels like me just being my usual anxious self but the question still needs to be asked.

Katie

Hi Katie

I have no doubt that you will know if its right for you. It is such a gradual change that it could take a little while for you to know if its right....don't let anxiety be the determining factor.

Be careful to understand whether the HRT is right for you and you are not feeling crappy because of the stuff society puts on you for being trans...Transition is difficult but for many of us we find that HRT gives us an edge to be able to cope with this stuff.

I hope you get the result you want from your HRT

Take care

Liz


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My experience on HRT certainly convinced me that I was right.  I don't know what it would feel like if it was wrong for someone.

If HRT is not right for you your brain will start screaming at you. You will absolutely know. However Make sure you don't get dehydrated if they put you on spiro because being dehydrated could make you have a lack of energy just as running on the same hormone saps the energy out of a person.

For me it was like coming out of a fog going on hrt.

Good luck

You will know in short order if it feels more natural for you or if it feels like an affectation. I had the same concerns before starting HRT years ago. On the bright side I don't know many people who haven't worried like this before starting their medical transition, so you're in good company

I knew 100% that I wanted HRT.
However, I realize that not everyone does. Start with lower doses and work your way up.

It won't take long.

You'll see.

HRT,

People will not know you are on HRT unless you express or you tell them. That is for a while until you start to bud and grow breasts. For some lucky ones that is sooner, for some that is later and for many it is not enough to give you away.

So while you are figuring things out give yourself some slack. Enjoy the ride. It becomes interesting when your T is suppressed and you are on a full dose of E for a while.

Courage to express takes time. Find a group and express there. When you gain courage expand your experiences.

I had no idea how I could ever be on a beach in a bathing suit. Last year I did it and looked good, I think. I can not wait till next year. I am a totally different person than I was in 2012. I have grown so much and I really like who I am. HRT did not do that but it was the catalyst.

Rachel

You'll almost certainly know when you start, but give it some time and try stopping. Then you'll really know.

If it isn't right for you, whatever discomfort that drove you to begin HRT will not diminish.

When I went to see my doctor and asked to start HRT I was nervous and frightened. At my first checkup four months later I was smiling ear-to-ear throughout the appointment. I must have been contagious because my doctor was smiling too! Even though my wife was still mad at me and I had no idea what would happen when I came out to everyone, I knew it was the right choice.

As we travel down the HRT trail we all question ourselves at times, but think about where you were and where you are. If you are in a better place now, then it probably was the right decision.

I had already disclosed to everyone and had begun presenting female full time before I decided to begin medical transition. It has absolutely helped with the dysphoria and produced the changes I had hoped for. It's not a magic elixir, but I couldn't do without it. It has given me more confidence and mental stamina.

Quote from: MissKatie on December 03, 2018, 03:58:25 PM
It's confirmed. Within a month I will be starting on HRT.
That's so awesome and I am so happy and scared. I'm scared because there's always that doubt, sometimes it's so small I don't even notice it, sometimes it takes up a large part of my thought.
The doubt that I am a woman that is.
I have a male body, I am make social adapted, I like typically male things yet I am almost certain I'm not male.
So, my question is, say I'm three months into HRT, will I know if it's the wrong thing to do? Will my mind say "ha you fool, you are a man afterall'?

These are just normal worries I am guessing, it's a huge upheaval of everything in your life to say "actually I'm a woman but don't treat me any different please" and expecting people to say "okay no problem"

It feels like me just being my usual anxious self but the question still needs to be asked.

Katie

Those male activities make no difference.  I like to work on cars, and probably have one of the largest shops around.  I like to to offroading and rock climbing with our Jeep.  But I also like to make flower arrangements and bake bread.  Who cares. I am a woman and I have some typical male hobbies, so what?

My son is shop manager in one of the shops of one of the largest public transportation systems in the US, and his two best mechanics are girls, real girly girls that is!

It is indeed a normal worry to have at the start, Katie.

Technically I suppose I was "exploring" at the start of HRT although I definitely knew I wanted it. Shortly after, my thinking and concentration improved and I felt inner peace. Within 3 months I knew I had been correct as I could feel I was on "the right fuel".

I would assume a nontrans person would feel uncomfortable on HRT and would dread the physical changes whereas a  transperson looks forward to them and then enjoys them!

I wish you every success on your HRT journey.

Hugs

Pamela

I've had the same thoughts recently as I start seriously planning my transition. It's been a worry mainly because of my family. Worrying about rejection and humiliation the whole time. I know who I am inside, they have just done a great job over the years of suppressing that and telling me what I'm supposed to believe and think. When I think back on it, I realize this is something I've been praying for and dreaming of since I was 5 or 6. At 28, it's time to do something about it.


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Quote from: Sky1090 on December 04, 2018, 06:36:20 AM
I've had the same thoughts recently as I start seriously planning my transition. It's been a worry mainly because of my family. Worrying about rejection and humiliation the whole time. I know who I am inside, they have just done a great job over the years of suppressing that and telling me what I'm supposed to believe and think. When I think back on it, I realize this is something I've been praying for and dreaming of since I was 5 or 6. At 28, it's time to do something about it.


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Or you can wait like I, and almost "explode" when you are in your mid 60's or early 70's, and after coming out feel sorry that you wasted most of your life in the wrong body as a fake person!

Quote from: Dietlind on December 04, 2018, 10:37:16 AM
Or you can wait like I, and almost "explode" when you are in your mid 60's or early 70's, and after coming out feel sorry that you wasted most of your life in the wrong body as a fake person!

That's what I'm almost afraid of is never being able to be me. It's like I told my fiancé. My biggest fear is losing her. My second biggest fear is never being myself. So glad she's with me through this.


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Quote from: Sky1090 on December 04, 2018, 10:40:02 AM
That's what I'm almost afraid of is never being able to be me. It's like I told my fiancé. My biggest fear is losing her. My second biggest fear is never being myself. So glad she's with me through this.


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What if she makes you choose? As you put it would you be willing to live untrue to yourself to stay in a relationship with her. Keep in mind divorces happen. Should the worst later on happen would not being true to yourself have been worth it?

These are tough questions but it is important to be honest with ones self to live without regrets.

Best case scenario you never have to choose and I hope that this is the case. 

Quote from: Sky1090 on December 04, 2018, 10:40:02 AM
That's what I'm almost afraid of is never being able to be me. It's like I told my fiancé. My biggest fear is losing her. My second biggest fear is never being myself. So glad she's with me through this.


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Because of holding back until I could not do it anymore, my happy marriage of almost 40 years exploded into little bits and pieces. 
If your fiance cannot cope with it now, she cannot cope with it later either!

Quote from: NatalieRene on December 04, 2018, 10:51:34 AM
What if she makes you choose? As you put it would you be willing to live untrue to yourself to stay in a relationship with her. Keep in mind divorces happen. Should the worst later on happen would not being true to yourself have been worth it?

These are tough questions but it is important to be honest with ones self to live without regrets.

Best case scenario you never have to choose and I hope that this is the case. 

This has been a talking point almost every night. We've decided that before I begin HRT, we will go to couples therapy for a few months. We're not worried about the emotional relationship. The way we view it, it doesn't matter who we are on the outside. Man or woman, I'm still the same person and love and treat her the same. We are still in love just the same as we were on day one.

Our worry is the physical relationship. She wants to sit down with a therapist to understand exactly what this is and exactly why I am taking action to improve my life. She says she loves me unconditionally as I do her. She told me last night that she thinks she would be comfortable with me as her wife just so long as our love and connection to each other never changes.


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QuoteI've had the same thoughts recently as I start seriously planning my transition. It's been a worry mainly because of my family. Worrying about rejection and humiliation the whole time.

I think it's entirely normal to have such concerns.  I'm planning on starting HRT shortly and going through the same thing.