I have a strong, solid career, very established. But I have also have an even stronger amount of dysphoria that I have struggled with for 34 of my 40 years of life. I was hoping that feeling would go away, it did not, only just got stronger. So I finally decided its time for HRT. I started 2 months ago, then stopped for a month, and finally just restarted this week. I have had a tender lump under my nipple, and over the last month the tenderness went away, but its now soft where the lump was at.

It will be important to me to hide the affects for as long as I can. I hope to blame the changes people may see on some medical issues, and my age. How realistic is this?

So here are my questions:

• 
  Please comment on anything above, I'd like to know what you have to say.
  
  When: your breasts came in?
  
  How hard were they to hide?
  
  How did you bind them? What did you use?
  
  Were they easy to bind to hide?
  
  Were they soft and squishy? In other words, easy to flatten when pressed against your chest?
  
  I know YMMV, but at what point did yours start bouncing?
  
  At what point did you need to start wearing a bra?
  
  What other body changes did you experience in the first year (and at what month)?
  
  When did your partner start to notice these or any changes?
  
  If you could go back and not do HRT due to the affects, would you?

@EmilyEml 
Dear Emily:
Congratulations to you regarding being on HRT for 2 months.  This will be an exciting, very enjoyable and sometimes  frustrating journey for you....

Here is important information for you or anyone that is at the beginning their HRT journey should be aware of...
...the following are some of my personal opinions and thoughts as garnered from personal experience as it may relate to what you might expect.

As has been stated over and over here on the Forums... and by me in many of my past comments on various posts, HRT will work uniquely in your own unique body.
What you read about other transitioning members experiences with HRT most likely will not be identical to your own experiences.

Some will experience more significant changes more quickly and then some will experience less significant changes more slowly....   it is all up to your genes and how your body reacts to the HRT.   Your doctor will  undoubtedly be looking at your frequent blood test results during your journey to determine if any alterations in the HRT regimen are needed.
The adage that you have probably already heard regarding HRT and how it may work for various individuals  is "YMMV"  meaning that Your Mileage May Vary.
   
PATIENCE is definitely required.... usually not much happens very quickly with HRT... but changes will happen.  Do some reading of other transitioners posts and look at many of the posted HRT timelines and the before and after pictures. ....  they can give you a rough idea of what you MIGHT expect.

Many times the very first noticeable changes can be felt and seen within the first 2 to 6 months... breast tenderness, breast bud lumps forming under the nipples and possibly changes in body hair growth, your own body and urine smell, changes in erections becoming less intense, libido, etc.

Without a doubt this can be very "EXCITING and SCARY all at the same time."   One needs to hang on for an amazing ride.  Some of my own best and most appreciated and dramatic body changes happened at about the 5 month point through the start of year #2 of my HRT journey.   Before I completed my first year of HRT my breasts were a B cup and about a year later near the end of year 2 my breasts were on the cusp of being a C cup and a few months later they stabilized at a full C cup.   No hiding them any longer for sure.
Even though I was able to very successfully pass before I went full-time... when I did go full-time at the 1½  year mark I have been passing 100% of the time.  Of course that is just my experience, I suppose I can thank my body makeup and my genes for all that.

One final note for you regarding your question about how long you can "hide" the new you.  Obviously your breast growth will be one of the primary things that will give away your secret.  For a while, loose fitting shirts, patterned and dark colors are best, and casual shirts with vest pockets do a good job of hiding your "girls"...   then, if needed, a light weight sports bra can do a good job of minimizing unwanted breast and nipple appearances.   Fortunately in the winter time, heavier shirts and clothing will help with all of this a lot.... but I will advise you, that depending on how your body reacts to HRT, and taking into account YMMV, you possibly may start becoming somewhat unsuccessful with your "hiding" efforts after about 6 months to a year.... so make your plans accordingly.

We are here to rejoice with you in the good times and to support you in the not so good times.
One more time.... PATIENCE is required.   The attitude of many people today is "I want it all and I want it now" ... that will not apply to HRT.   You might want to re-read what I just wrote so you can get a good grasp of the details that I mentioned.

I will be looking forward to your continued updates as you feel free to post them.   
Hugs and well wishes
Danielle

I'm 40 and on HRT for just over 2 months. I measured my boobs directly and they are about 1 1/2 inches high so that puts me at a 40AA. So really small boobs but they are obvious when someone looks at me.

Technically my measurements are 40/40, but this is inaccurate because of all the upper body muscles that I have. Specifically the Latissimus Dorsi and Deltoid (back and sides.) Spironolactone still needs to do its work.

@GingerVicki, this is amazing, I am also the same age!

Are your breasts hard or soft?  Are they easy to hide, do you bind?

I have an FtM binder. It has become a requirement if I want to hide the girls during the last few weeks.

My nipples are always hard and so are my buds but the rest is very soft and fleshy. Also, I have some tenderness on the inside of my boobs but I do not hear anyone talking about that. So, I do not know how common this is.

I should add that the coveted side chest that male bodybuilders go after is gone. I had it two months ago.

It's my understanding that binding growing breasts is not a good idea. Be careful and good luck.

Hugs, Devlyn

Your mileage will vary but I don't know if hiding the effects will be viable. I was 28 at the time and inside 90 days I was not passable male. If you react anywhere near as fast you should be making arrangements to come out at work or find a new job where you can if the one you have now would not be viable.

Quote from: Devlyn on December 06, 2018, 02:18:29 PM
It's my understanding that binding growing breasts is not a good idea. Be careful and good luck.

Hugs, Devlyn

@Devyn   @EmilyEml   @GingerVicki

I fully agree with Devlyn regarding her expressed thoughts that she stated about binding breasts to hide HRT breast growth.... "... is not a good idea"

Not a good plan and not good for the breasts according to my first gender therapist over 4 years ago when I was thinking about starting HRT and then to start transitioning.

There are some things that are not easily just "half-way" ....  please be careful.   
Eventually with HRT, sooner or later a decision will have to be made... "breasts?"  or "no breasts?"  If the answer is "no breasts" then continuing HRT may not be a good plan.

Rather than binding, perhaps a lightly padded sports-bra can hide the nipples and some of the beginning breast growth, top it off with a loose fitting t-shirt and casual shirt, flannel or made with heavier material, with breast pockets, and a dark color or a colored pattern.... those things will do a great deal in being able to hide initial breast growth.

Danielle

Quote from: Devlyn on December 06, 2018, 02:18:29 PM
It's my understanding that binding growing breasts is not a good idea. Be careful and good luck.

Hugs, Devlyn

I only bind when I absolutely need to.I will need to apply a heating pad to them on days when I have to bind. I've read that it stimulates growth and probably should be doing it more often anyhow.

I did not know that!


<link removed by moderator>

I started wearing a sports bra at about one month on HRT, to protect the girls (nipples were getting sore rubbing on my shirt), and for concealment.  I went full-time at about three months, and started wearing a padded bra for enhancement. 

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on December 06, 2018, 02:33:00 PM
@Devyn   @EmilyEml   @GingerVicki

I fully agree with Devlyn regarding her expressed thoughts that she stated about binding breasts to hide HRT breast growth.... "... is not a good idea"

Not a good plan and not good for the breasts according to my first gender therapist over 4 years ago when I was thinking about starting HRT and then to start transitioning.

There are some things that are not easily just "half-way" ....  please be careful.   
Eventually with HRT, sooner or later a decision will have to be made... "breasts?"  or "no breasts?"  If the answer is "no breasts" then continuing HRT may not be a good plan.

Rather than binding, perhaps a lightly padded sports-bra can hide the nipples and some of the beginning breast growth, top it off with a loose fitting t-shirt and casual shirt, flannel or made with heavier material, with breast pockets, and a dark color or a colored pattern.... those things will do a great deal in being able to hide initial breast growth.

Danielle

Poor Devyn is probably wondering how they got dragged into this, since they got the @ mention, not me! 

Now as rule of thumb, YMMV (Your Milage May Vary) applies here! Everyone is different. It's been said to look at a sister or your mother to get an idea what you may experience.

My breasts became alive within the first month of hrt.  They felt kinda tense, like I had a very slight muscle strain.  During second to fourth month, the girls were starting to tell me they were definitely there. They had been itching, aching, throbbing.  Bumping them was a real reminder.  Around the fifth month there had been big changes with my nipples and areolae that would come and go throughout the day.  Sometimes puffy and large, sometimes they looked like they did in the beginning.  Each growth spurt created a snoopy nose that would eventually (within weeks) round out.  Rhonda and Lucy did not develop together at the same rate. They battled it out between the two of them to hold onto the lead as they raced each other. There have been about four changes in that lead up to this point.  At the moment Rhonda is taken the first place spot, for how long , I don't know.  But the typical period of time for me between spurts is about two months.
The funny thing is, when I measure my bust that number hasn't changed but slightly (about an inch). What I do when measure to find the change in growth is by taking a cloth measure tape, hold it directly above my nipple placed on the collarbone, measure down over the nipple and to the crease below. They have change 2" in that measurement since I started. 
My starting cup size was guesstimated at an "A" cup.  That now is thought to be a "C" cup.  Where the difference is seems to be is the 3" difference in my band size from when I began.
Bra sizing varies from one calculator to the next, so having it professionally sized may be the best way to really get what fits.  I'm trying to convince my girlfriends to come with me and have a bra fitting party.

Hugs and smiles from a California girl

I've edited my previous post, sorry for any confusion.

Quote from: Devlyn on December 07, 2018, 02:39:51 AM
I've edited my previous post, sorry for any confusion.

@Devlyn
Dear Devlyn:
Thank you so very much for your clarification and your edition of your previous post...  the clarification was most helpful.   I am so sorry that I mis-understood what you originally conveyed in your previous reply... all of that was due to my mistake and typo in the "mention" that I had included in my comment that you quoted in your reply....

Would you please forgive me for my initial negative reaction?

Again, thank you for your edited post which was nice to see this morning.
Hugs,
Danielle

I was trying to put too much in my first post, and broke my own rule:

"If I can't say it in twenty five words or less.... I can't say it! 

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Devlyn on December 07, 2018, 10:33:16 AM
I was trying to put too much in my first post, and broke my own rule:

"If I can't say it in twenty five words or less.... I can't say it! 

Hugs, Devlyn

That must be a military thing. I remember my Captain in high school saying things like that.

After 4 months if I were to just wear a T-shirt people would very likely start to notice especially with the nipples pocking out. I'm not out at work. Only 2 people at work know. I work at a Home Depot at the ProDesk dealing with contractors. They are already started to notice my soft hands. Luckily it is winter time and I just wear my comfy sweaters and my apron helps to hide the puppies. I'm also scared in coming out. I want to, I have a feminine body shape but my face is pretty masculine(very square). Plus at 37 my hair above my forehead has that "M" shape going on. I've always had my hair go back. I'll need to start getting to come forward. I'm sooo scared of summer time, by then the puppies will get bigger and the heat will not allow me to wear sweaters.

My breasts are currently like in this picture.  I just started on HRT, I had this breast growth prior to starting because I am intersex.  I can still dress as a male as long as my shirts have breast pockets.  My nipples are constantly hard, and i cover them up with those stick on pads available from Amazon.

https://imgur.com/a/IJWimny