1. Feeling emotional in a good way. For instance needing to cry after a long day.
I have never felt better

2. Horrible selfdoubt at times. Why did I do this? I hope I made the right choice.
This could have been impacted by stress.

3. I have developed a feminine hair pattern down stairs, and I no longer have the desire to shave because I feel more feminine looking at it.

4. When breasts are beginning to develop they are painful.
The worst part is I sleep on my stomach.

5. Waking up every morning smiling because I feel I made the right choice.
This has been pretty common.

6. People think I am weird because I smile so much.
I cannot help it.

7. My sexual feelings are different.
I can turn it off at anytime, I have to build my self up now to finish.
The feelings are there, but they no longer bother me if I do not finish.
I feel more satisfied just playing around with  my self then finishing. That was a weird one.
I guess it could be determined by state of mind or mood.
Erections are weaker, and I still have a lot of volume.(kind of weird to talk about, I expected the worst)

8. Thinking about anything now is weird,and I always have emotions mixed in now.
I would say it is manageable for me, and before I was emotionless. I can pick up on emotions waaaaay better now. I like it because I am a writer and a artist. I believe I have a better voice when writing.

9. Women.
I notice a lot of different things now. I could never pick up on all that stuff before.
I notice how they talk to men, and most guys cannot pick up on it AT ALL.
I can tell if they sound flirty, friendly, curious, playful, if they want attention.
I was at a taco stand the other night. This guy was with this girl they went out to eat together. The whole time she was staring at this guy, playing with her hair, and  trying to get closer to him. I just wanted to scream at the guy, Hey, she's into you dude. All he was doing was moving back, acting awkward, and he kept fidgeting with his phone.
I was looking at some old pictures, and I noticed how cute I was before HRT. I just never noticed it it's weird. I guess some things we never really notice until we get put into the opposite perspective.

10. Gender dysphoria and thinking about surgery.
I get emotional thinking about gender dysphoria and surgery.
I mean I was crying in tears the other night because  I wish underwear would fit right. I wish I could afford GCS, but I have to be real. I decided the other night that I will probably do an simple bilateral orchiectomy because of the low cost. I still haven't started hair removal yet. The reason being is I am trying to stretch my transition a little longer and with facial hair.

11. Starting to notice changes. My dad keeps telling me I look like my mom, and he likes to emphasize how much I actually look like her. I think that really bothers him a lot...
I took a before and after picture. I am at my 4 month mark on HRT. The only thing that I did was I shaved my face. I dressed up to see how I look. My step mom told me I look good except for the large hands and broad shoulders. I cannot complain, and she has always been brutally honest with me.

Well that is all for tonight.I am going to get back to watching The nightmare before Christmas.

I am way too early with the HRT, so my answer is No to every point. But Yes for #7.

With 7, I actually found there were dramatic changes once I accepted who I was and started coming out. These changes were a lot like you describe, but were before HRT. You know what they say, the brain is the biggest sex organ. I am convinced that my psychology and sex drive changed (without hormones) simply by accepting myself.

At the time when I first noticed the changes it seemed all unexpected and weird, but I loved the new me, all the same. (And still do.)

~Dee.

Quote from: dee82 on December 08, 2018, 11:05:13 PM

At the time when I first noticed the changes it seemed all unexpected and weird, but I loved the new me, all the same. (And still do.)

~Dee.

I love the way that was said.

Quote from: Coffeedrew on December 08, 2018, 09:49:19 PM
1. Feeling emotional in a good way. For instance needing to cry after a long day.
I have never felt better

2. Horrible selfdoubt at times. Why did I do this? I hope I made the right choice.
This could have been impacted by stress.

3. I have developed a feminine hair pattern down stairs, and I no longer have the desire to shave because I feel more feminine looking at it.

4. When breasts are beginning to develop they are painful.
The worst part is I sleep on my stomach.

5. Waking up every morning smiling because I feel I made the right choice.
This has been pretty common.

6. People think I am weird because I smile so much.
I cannot help it.

7. My sexual feelings are different.
I can turn it off at anytime, I have to build my self up now to finish.
The feelings are there, but they no longer bother me if I do not finish.
I feel more satisfied just playing around with  my self then finishing. That was a weird one.
I guess it could be determined by state of mind or mood.
Erections are weaker, and I still have a lot of volume.(kind of weird to talk about, I expected the worst)

8. Thinking about anything now is weird,and I always have emotions mixed in now.
I would say it is manageable for me, and before I was emotionless. I can pick up on emotions waaaaay better now. I like it because I am a writer and a artist. I believe I have a better voice when writing.

9. Women.
I notice a lot of different things now. I could never pick up on all that stuff before.
I notice how they talk to men, and most guys cannot pick up on it AT ALL.
I can tell if they sound flirty, friendly, curious, playful, if they want attention.
I was at a taco stand the other night. This guy was with this girl they went out to eat together. The whole time she was staring at this guy, playing with her hair, and  trying to get closer to him. I just wanted to scream at the guy, Hey, she's into you dude. All he was doing was moving back, acting awkward, and he kept fidgeting with his phone.
I was looking at some old pictures, and I noticed how cute I was before HRT. I just never noticed it it's weird. I guess some things we never really notice until we get put into the opposite perspective.

10. Gender dysphoria and thinking about surgery.
I get emotional thinking about gender dysphoria and surgery.
I mean I was crying in tears the other night because  I wish underwear would fit right. I wish I could afford GCS, but I have to be real. I decided the other night that I will probably do an simple bilateral orchiectomy because of the low cost. I still haven't started hair removal yet. The reason being is I am trying to stretch my transition a little longer and with facial hair.

11. Starting to notice changes. My dad keeps telling me I look like my mom, and he likes to emphasize how much I actually look like her. I think that really bothers him a lot...
I took a before and after picture. I am at my 4 month mark on HRT. The only thing that I did was I shaved my face. I dressed up to see how I look. My step mom told me I look good except for the large hands and broad shoulders. I cannot complain, and she has always been brutally honest with me.

Well that is all for tonight.I am going to get back to watching The nightmare before Christmas.

Hi coffeedrew

lets see if I can answer some of these

1) yes can relate to the "therapy" of a good cry...

2) Once I was committed to HRT I never had any regrets about it specifically...plenty of doubts about transition though

3)I don't actually know as I shaved about 12 months ago and never let it grow..didn't notice

4)sore boobs means you are doing it right...

5)I felt so happy on HRT and I have really missed the last 5weeks of not being on it

6)yes being generally happier and being told that other could see it felt like a great affirmation

7)Volume will decease with time and I eventually got to the point where it just didn't work and it was not long after this that I experienced my first female orgasm...not as intense but way more fun to get there and finishing was no longer a priority...I was able to get t the point I didn't have to even touch

8)Not too sure what you mean by this one but I understand the  way I think has changed.

9) Just about any woman you see you compare yourself to? I have always noticed them differently and not sexually....more like a person I can learn from

10)As I progressed with HRT and began to really accept who I was and what would make me happy my desire to have GCS became an overwhelming powerful correction I just had to have

11)It took me a long time to begin to notice the changes...others saw them well before I did. Sometimes its difficult especially when I began to lose my strength..annoying!

Hope some or any of that helps

Take care

Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Quote from: LizK on December 09, 2018, 06:06:43 AM

8)Not too sure what you mean by this one but I understand the  way I think has changed.

9) Just about any woman you see you compare yourself to? I have always noticed them differently and not sexually....more like a person I can learn from

Hope some or any of that helps

Take care

Liz


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Those two have been weird for me...I cannot tell if I look at woman more or I am attracted to them...
hmmm comparing my self to them I don't know?

I think I might bring it up to my therapist next time I see her.

Maybe It's because I am in the middle of male and female.

Maybe I watch them because I want to be better at passing?

Maybe how men look at bodybuilders, but this is the female way of doing it?

Thank you for your insight.As always it leads to more questions.