I hadn't really thought through the HRT issue before coming out. So I just came out when the secret became too big to keep inside. Starting HRT was many months later after (almost) everyone knew. I am also bit of a "scaredy cat" when it comes to health, and if I had medical advice saying it was a bad idea and would put me at risk, I was prepared to continue social transitioning without HRT.

~Dee.

I told my Wife, my Parents, my older sister, my friend who's is also the HR manager at work, aa coworker friend if ours, and the two owners of the company. The one owner told his wife, and I talked to her about it in more detail on a work trip we took.

After that, I felt I had told enough people and don't plan on telling anyone else until significant changes take place on HRT.

Lacy

I came out to my wife first. And then I came out to my parents and siblings before hrt. I came out to extended family like 6 months after starting hrt. Not really sure why I did it that way. I think my thinking was that I was going to lose them regardless of when I came out. So I said I'll get it over with now. It hasn't exactly worked that way although it is close.


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Only my fella. Would have been impossible to hide it from him or anyone else unlike with MTF HRT. Didn't want to conceal my intentions from him, but didn't bother telling anyone else specifically.

I told my best friend and my fiancé. I plan to tell a couple more friends and some family that I know will be accepting of me. I don't want to tell the rest until physical changes start happening. I don't want anyone's opinions or trying to "change my mind" like I know my brothers and parents will do. So far the two people I've told are 100% behind my transition. I just can't keep this secret any longer.

My fiancé and I decided that we will go through couples therapy when I start HRT. Not because it is going to break our relationship, I just want to make sure we have a full understanding of how it will affect our physical relationship. Realistically, we're still the same two people who fell in love 2 years ago, just I'm not "that guy"

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Yes I pretty much came out to everyone before hormones.

Yes, I did share this fact with some.


Chrissy

I came out to everybody quite a time prior I even knew what HRT was.  But I am working on this becoming a female for over 15 years now.  I told most people after my breasts started to grow to a visible size.And I still don't know if HRT is doing anything to or for me.

I haven't started hormones yet, but I just recently came out to 4 of my sisters this past week. I think it would be best to come out to some you trust before hormones for emotional support.

I haven't started HRT yet, but some of my personal friends know.  Of course, my doctor might have clued in when I asked for feminizing hormones.   

I came out to my wife and one female friend first. I'm still not out to anyone else, including my parents and siblings. I've been thinking about that more and more because that will go terribly. I don't know how long I will wait to tell them.


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I told my wife of 21 years first as her support was going to be the largest impact in future decisions. Then it was an Aunt and my two best friends (1 male and one female). All went well, so I let my younger sister know and that did not go so well. My mom has passed so I am not sure how she would have reacted. Considering how repressed my gender dysphoria was and who was responsible I have a guess on how that might have gone. The kids (all late teen to early twenties) were last and the most blase about it.

I would very much like to suggest that every person you decide to confide in is one on one. From what I have seen and read, group announcements rarely go well.

Letting people know is an incredible show of trust on our parts, and I believe many of my friends and family saw that and appreciated the fact that I still wanted them in my life even though I was evolving into the person I wanted to be since I was 5.

Ricki

Yes, I came out to my close family members (my wife knew of my leanings before we were married) before starting HRT.

In hindsight I could have handled it a little better, but you don't always get to choose the sequence of events. Everything is fine now....

Cynthia -

Yes, I came out to my spouse right after I got off the suicide hotline call, and to my immediate family ver4y shortly thereafter.  I was in therapy about 3 months before starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), as I wanted to make sure that I was a transgender person and not suffering from another problem.  (My provider does a form of informed consent.)

HRT provided significant relief from some issues related to my long term depression, and like peeling an onion, other layers of issues related to gender identity and past trauma were uncovered as I progressed.  I am doing much better three years later!

Everyone is different and in different situations. Going full-time is probably not going to happen for me, but I am 65 and suffering from the effects of dysphoria. My wife has been part of the process to decide to go on HRT, but I won't tell anyone else until it becomes necessary. My loved ones and friends also have a kind of dysphoria, in that it would cause them difficulty to see a male figure, but be asked to see that male as a female. I think it would be easier on them if I looked more female than male, then I would be asking them to accept a female looking person as a female. Does this make sense?

Anybody close to me has known I have had a strong female side all of my life, but that was wrapped up inside quite a powerful male body. I need to soften quite a bit before I could expect anyone to accept the real me. Having said that, this year I have had to come out to my GP, Psychologist, the receptionist at my Endo practice, my Endo, and my pharmacist. It is very frustrating for me not to tell the world, but it's not all about me.

Allie

I think the first person I told was a trans man my ex-wife had been friends with years before; although we had met, I hadn't seen him for years. I found him on Facebook. I was completely at sea and wanted his help.

I told another on-line friend I had never met IRL shortly thereafter.

Finally, about two or three weeks after coming out to myself, I told a cis female former co-worker I had once been friends with. I desperately needed help with makeup, and she was the only woman locally that I knew and I trusted.

Other than that, I think it was just my gender therapist until I started HRT. I started HRT about six weeks after coming out. I found a friendly doctor and did an end-run around my gender therapist because I hadn't known her long and I didn't know if she would gatekeep me.

As of this week I'm now presenting as my true self full time, and I haven't started HRT yet. I have an appointment this week to (hopefully) get my prescription.

-Jessica

Quote from: Jessica_A on March 17, 2019, 04:47:05 PM
As of this week I'm now presenting as my true self full time, and I haven't started HRT yet. I have an appointment this week to (hopefully) get my prescription.

-Jessica

Congrats on living full time 

best of luck with your script

Cynthia -

I was outed by a family therapist to my wife. It caused a lot of strife, and many talks of divorce. We made it through, though, and are still happily married. I definitely would have told her before starting hrt though. I didn't tell anyone else until after I started hrt.

Quote from: Confetti on December 15, 2018, 10:33:10 AM
Hi everyone,

I'm wondering whether you came out to any family members or friends before you started the hormone process, or whether you started first before coming out?

I'm not sure which way to go. I know there's no right or wrong way to do this but some insight would be great

I told my wife before I started therapy and before starting HRT, it took me 10 days to get up the nerve to tell her, it took months to go beyond that!

Love and Hugs, Marcie