Does anyone else ever have have unexpected gender dysphoria triggers? As an example, I took my kids ice skating a couple of days ago, and while there I saw a woman practicing figure skating. I have never really given figure skating much thought, but something about the elegance and beauty of the way she moved just triggered me like few things have in a long time.

Right now, all the time.  Never used to bother me so much before, now and again but not constantly. Now I find myself trying to keep myself together every time I go to the supermarket shopping, every time I pick up my daughter from school, the school play, the hairs on my arms, hearing my name, seeing my wife... if it wasn't being balanced with episodes of elation too then I think I would be off my rocker... well I probably am a bit mad already but it has been pure hell since August. I am slowly learning to live with it, I've not got it under control at all but I am more aware of what is happening to me and paying more attention to the trigger. Last night I was visiting a friend to drop off Christmas presents and a card, and his girlfriend was at a work's Christmas party but she had left her makeup brushes on the table... that was a trigger.

In my experience, it gets worse by the day. ...And I have no idea why... I have no answer to why it happens.

My triggers are whenever I see a woman with big breasts and quickly my mind goes into girl mode. I want to be just like them. Also whenever I see a pregnant woman, I want to experience that and have a big belly and milk in my breasts. It happens a lot and it's so hard to get out of my mind. Even when I drive I see a lady driving and think, one day that will be me. These kinds of triggers really affect me.

I have most of the same common triggers as others, but sometimes something really unexpected hits me hard. The figure skating event was really unexpected.

Looking at an attractive woman, when I realize she looks at me in disgust. I'm like wtf, then I remember, mmmm, you've been on hrt for 6 years and really look androgynous to her. How I know that? I look in my hidden compact mirror.

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Whenever I see a well dressed woman. I see her makeup, the way she does her eyes, the plump lips the way she does her hair. Then I look at her nails the polish used, if they are real or false. The fashion she is wearing, jewellery. All these are triggers knowing that inside I am like that but I don't and never will be like that on the outside and if I am alone I shed a tear or two

My trigger lately has been seeing men with mustaches.  I want one SO bad!  and a beard too would be nice. 

Also, muscles.  I'm finally growing some, but I hate gyms and have no wish to go to any.  I like the muscles I'm growing, but.... *lazy*

Oh, and junk.  Actual cis-junk.  I can't help but feel jealous when I look at a cis man and know that what's in his skinny pants he didn't buy online.  Especially since skinny pants are (back!) in style!

Ryuichi

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on December 16, 2018, 12:07:40 PM
My trigger lately has been seeing men with mustaches.  I want one SO bad!  and a beard too would be nice. 

Also, muscles.  I'm finally growing some, but I hate gyms and have no wish to go to some.  I like the ones I'm growing, but.... *lazy*

Oh, and junk.  Actual cis-junk.  I cant help but feel jealous when I look at a cis man and know that what's in his skinny pants he didn't buy online.  Especially since skinny pants are (back!) in style.

Ryuichi

How I wish I could trade! I shave all of my facial hair because I hate it and I hate my naturally muscular build. If I could give those things to you, I would do it in the blink of an eye.

Quote from: BlueJaye on December 16, 2018, 12:24:16 PM
How I wish I could trade! I shave all of my facial hair because I hate it and I hate my naturally muscular build. If I could give those things to you, I would do it in the blink of an eye.

I totally agree. I would donate my facial hair in a heartbeat. That has been my biggest trigger as of yet. I couldn't afford razors for a couple of weeks and the result was horrific. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror.

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I too would trade any facial and body hair for a more feminine like body. I absolutely hate that I have to shave every day. And I have also slowly tried to shave around my small lumps for a breast and try to shave down below as well. But not all of it so as not to arouse the curiosity of my wife. She won't accept that. I dream of being able to be clean shaven on my whole body which is why I like to shave around my little breasts. I also look at women's finger and toe nails and how they are painted. Then I want to do the same.

Quote from: Shennae on December 17, 2018, 11:09:14 AM
I too would trade any facial and body hair for a more feminine like body. I absolutely hate that I have to shave every day. And I have also slowly tried to shave around my small lumps for a breast and try to shave down below as well. But not all of it so as not to arouse the curiosity of my wife. She won't accept that. I dream of being able to be clean shaven on my whole body which is why I like to shave around my little breasts. I also look at women's finger and toe nails and how they are painted. Then I want to do the same.

Can't you convince your wife that you are loosing your body hair?
I for one never developed any, and are bare of hair on my entire body, except my head and a little pubic hair.
You might be able to tell your wife that you are slowly loosing the hair?

Dietlind,

Unfortunately my wife seems convinced that I am not trans. And as for body hair falling out, she would she wouldn't see it that way. She would just say that I am shaving it. I really wish we could be on the same page so I can begin transitioning.But unfortunately that won't happen.

Quote from: Shennae on December 17, 2018, 08:30:02 PM
Dietlind,

Unfortunately my wife seems convinced that I am not trans. And as for body hair falling out, she would she wouldn't see it that way. She would just say that I am shaving it. I really wish we could be on the same page so I can begin transitioning.But unfortunately that won't happen.

I'm risking derailing my own thread, but I want to ask why your wife doesn't believe you are transgender? Maybe some of the people on here could help you work through that with her. It wasn't easy for my wife to accept that I am transgender, and it really didn't click for her until I started HRT. I'm just curious, have you had the opportunity to speak with a therapist who specializes in gender issues?

BlueJaye,

Yes. I have seen a gender therapist and was diagnosed as transgender by her. We talked about me when I was young and looked at women's lingerie, pregnant women's lingerie and clothing, and women's dresses, and wished that was me. I masturbated while doing that. Then I suppressed the thought of wanting to be a woman when I got a little older until recently. Then I realized a female voice inside me shouting to get out. All this is why she diagnosed me as transgender. But, my wife isn't convinced that I'm trans. She says to me that I never said anything about this throughout our 30 year marriage. I tried explaining to her what I said above about my growing up but that was like talking to a brick wall. She said that she didn't understand transgender and I mentioned to her that maybe we could go to my therapist together and she could ask her questions to better understand. Got no response. I'm thinking that she feels that if we don't talk about it,it will just go away. But it doesn't. I still want to transition. That female voice is still there and is stronger than ever.

I just have to go to work... I am triggered very easily these days and all the triggers I could ever 'want' are there on the way and in the office.
Well-dressed girls and women waiting for the bus and the subway, then good looking girls chit-chatting and shopping the shopping mall I have to go through to get to the office building.

In the office there are a lot of women on our floor. All of them have great taste in clothes and make-up and they are in great physical shape and look really good. I hear them talking a lot and then I'm jealous of their beautiful voices and wishing mine was like theirs.
Many of them got pregnant in the last 2 years and that's a very strong trigger, maybe the strongest. I can look quite good, I may achieve a voice that's good enough in the future but I'll never be able to just get pregnant if I wish.

Sometimes is takes a lot of concentration to not start crying in the middle of the shopping mall or the office.

Hello again BlueJaye

I have been thinking of this the last 4 days and as yet cannot think of any UNEXPECTED GD triggers and assume this is because all the GD triggers originally unexpected to me are now expected.

I agree that as others have said, about seeing and being so envious of women I see and wishing I was one of them; not only for the sake of their beauty and that they smile and look happy chatting but also for the sake of their shapeliness - both the boobs and the hour glass figure.

Also the most triggering part of my body is in fact not my genitalia (they are in a close second place); it is course my body hair and I shall never be satisfied until I see total elimination of it.

I am 10 months HRT and 6 months BHR (Body Hair Removal) to address this and in 2019 I shall be publicly transitioning.

Hugs

Pamela

Now that I had a manicure, and can see that my hands are looking pretty OK .  I have rather small hands with pretty long fingers, and now that they are done nicely, I can easily live with them.  Dysphoria is gone.  A few weeks earlier my feet triggered another dysphoria, and that was eliminated, because I found enough nice shoes in my size (women 11).

My only dysphoria left is my voice.  Not that it is very deep (my natural voice is actually in the low female pitch range), but my speech pattern makes me always drop into the low frequency word and sentence endings.  I know that I can unlearn this, but it is a lot of work and I have a million other things to do that seem to be more important at the time.  This feminizing thing can be a full time job!
My hair is a little bit of a dysphoria creator, because it seems to take a century to grow to a length, which allows to do something nice with it.  I know, I could wear the wig I wear in the avatar, but I hate that thing.
On the other hand, I have no receding hairline or bald spots, I should be thankful for that.

Today, its hands.  My hands are large, with thin wrists, but I'd really like for them to have more veins.  Also a bit of hair on the back of my hands wouldn't hurt.  I wish I could make my wrists thicker too, but I know that no exercise or anything will change that. 

Ryuichi

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on December 21, 2018, 04:00:34 PM
Today, its hands.  My hands are large, with thin wrists, but I'd really like for them to have more veins.  Also a bit of hair on the back of my hands wouldn't hurt.  I wish I could make my wrists thicker too, but I know that no exercise or anything will change that. 

Ryuichi

I have relativ smallish hands, with long fingers.  And depending how I move the hands, several veins can be seen.  but I don't think that has anything to do with masculinity, but with the amount of fat you have under your skin on your hands.  When I was quite a bit heavier, one could not see the veins.  I have no hair on my hands either, but nobody ever questioned my masculinity (still don't when I am in guys mode).
I think you try to be more man that most man are (I tried to do that, to).  Most man don't look like Rambo or the Terminator!

Christmas Day it was the presents give out. The host "plays Santa " and passes the presents to each. Nobody there knows that I am a woman apart from my partner so all the presents for me where male  I wanted the perfume and make up etc that others were given. I hid it well but I wanted to cry