As I have become more accepting that I am transgender over the past year I have have come to appreciate the incredible courage we all have against a massive wall social rejection.

I ran across a new article today talking about a NETFLIX film called GIRL about Nora Monsecour, a trans female dancer from Belgium.  It has created a lot of controversy and I don't want to get into any debate about that. 

What impressed me was the interview given by the actual trans dancer, Nora Monsecour a few weeks ago.  I made me proud of who I am and I hope you feel the same.

"Those criticizing Girl are preventing another trans story from being shared in the world, and are also attempting to silence me and my trans identity," Monsecour wrote, in part. "Every day, I see young, transgender people fighting for their dreams, accomplishing their goals. They are not weak and fragile. Girl tells my story in a way that doesn't lie, doesn't hide. To argue that Lara's experience as trans is not valid because the director, Lukas Dhont is cis or because we have a cis lead actor offends me."

"I made it through my darkest, most challenging times," she continued. "I am a professional dancer and a unique, brave, strong woman that knows exactly who she is and what she wants. Now, I can proudly say that I am transgender. I faced my challenges and my naysayers head-on and did not back down from my convictions. I will do the same to support this film, my friend Lukas, and this story."

"I spent countless hours focusing on my internal demons and feeling betrayed by my physical body," she added. "What hurt me the most was not the people who bullied me, who put me down, who didn't want me to succeed. What caused me the most turmoil was myself and my thoughts. In Girl, these thoughts became an important part of Lara's psyche too. I'm thankful to the team at Ghent Hospital, who helped me throughout my treatment, and consulted closely with Lukas on the film to ensure we were accurate. This was integral in developing the character of Lara."

Monsecour also defended the final scenes of Girl, though she clarified they weren't part of her real story.  "We made a film with some hard, honest scenes," she wrote. "Scenes that might be disturbing to watch, but that are crucial to show. I do not want to sugarcoat my experiences or hide away my darkest thoughts. I shouldn't have to — they are real and not uncommon in the trans community. Though my story does not include this final event, it's a thought that lingered in my mind every day."

I hope I haven't over-stepped myself for sharing it here.  I was just inspired by her courage and conviction.  I need to internalize it in my heart.

Emma

Thank you for sharing this Emma!

Thank you Emma and I could not agree more.  Living as trans and not in denial takes courage.  I am a big proponent of living as openly transgender.   It is the one thing that gets some other transpeople mad at me.  But I think it is important for society to see that we are just people with similar flaws and strengths as everyone else.

Any transgender person telling their story has my respect and support.

In full disclosure it was not my intention to live as openly trans when I was beginning my transition but I am happy for the most part that is how my journey evolved.

Quote from: KimOct on January 05, 2019, 04:12:52 AM
Thank you Emma and I could not agree more.  Living as trans and not in denial takes courage.  I am a big proponent of living as openly transgender.   It is the one thing that gets some other transpeople mad at me.  But I think it is important for society to see that we are just people with similar flaws and strengths as everyone else.

Any transgender person telling their story has my respect and support.

In full disclosure it was not my intention to live as openly trans when I was beginning my transition but I am happy for the most part that is how my journey evolved.

I would prefer to pass and live stealth, because I want people to interact with me genuinely as female. Even people who are supportive and use the right pronouns are often just being nice -- which I appreciate, of course; but it's also not the same.

However, since surgery is very probably not in my future, I have decided not to waste emotional energy in what can't be changed and tried to turn lemons into lemonade.  Thus, like you, I see my being out there without passing as helping to normalize being transgender in the eyes of the cisgender population, and helping to encourage other non-passing transgender people to live authentically anyway.

Your picture is lovely, by the way.

Thank you so much Ann you said it better than I do. 

I have been really been beating myself up over the last couple of days as to whether or not I have the courage to transition and the sacrifice it requires.

Alternatively, I have been also asking myself whether not transitioning requires even more of a sacrifice than I can make.

This circular argument is draining my soul.

So Sorry Emma - It is scary I remember the feeling just before telling people.  And going out in the world at first was so hard.  I tend to be very self conscious in general and being openly trans completely went against my personality of wanting acceptance.

It gets easier though - I promise.  It will be tough at first if you choose to do it but in a short time ( at least for me ) it was well worth it.  Carrying around that huge secret gets exhausting. 

I don't advocate transitioning cavalierly but from what you have written and the turmoil you seem to be going through IMHO it seems the right thing to me.  Read my signature line. 

If you don't already see a gender therapist I highly recommend doing so.  It is a huge help.  If you ever want to PM me don't hesitate.

Kim

Thank you Kim.  I appreciate your thoughts.

I am going to keep processing as my therapist keeps telling me.  The unanswered question is ultimately "where do I want to be in 5 years?"

It is still unanswered.  It is an endless battle of heart and mind.

Warm regards,

Emma