I agree with all of the above except "Norma Jean committed suicide in her thirties. Likely because she couldn't cope with the idea of spending her prime being entirely defined by the male gaze, only to be rendered invisible once she aged past the window of desire. Hardly a role model." Quoting her was not because I find her to be a role model, I hardly know anything about her, I do like what that quote has to say though.
Lol, I did grow up around the Amish, in fact my last apartment was right in the area where they filmed Amish Mafia. The first real friend as a child was an Amish girl. My life has been spent there or in the mountains of West Virginia.
Most of my friends are not like the list, but they are the list. Grr! Curse you brain, why can't you find the words I want to say. My best friend is the most competent person that I have ever met, I have seen her do almost anything that a man can do and she spent 15 years supervising men and being more competent than the men in a male dominated work environment. She asked me to change all of the outlets and switches in her mom's house though, and I didn't know anything more about doing it than she did before I started. She is everything you are saying but she still follows that list. It doesn't make sense but it is the way it works out. My last roommate, in Amish central remember, is very outspoken and she would laugh at the list but she lives it. In my group of friends, four couples that do almost everything together, the leader is a woman not a man, she also has a tendency to rub people the wrong way. It is not about who is or does what, but more about normal, every day social interactions.
I am probably still saying everything wrong, I don't know how to say it any better so it will have to do.
I am not trying to define gender or gender roles but socially we tend to spend the most time with people who are the most like ourselves. I found out the hard way that men seeing me as a woman shut me out, yes even among the affluent and well educated. It is fine, I fit in better with wome anyway and I am much happier now, but I had to learn that. It was the objective for me from the beginning but I thought that it was my choice on my time schedule, it didn't work out that way. When the door to male social interaction was closed I found myself with the women, good, well done but I didn't know what it took to fit in at first. It may seem stereotypical, and no one has to be all of that, but to really fit in you, looking and sounding like a woman is not enough, you have to be one. For me it is very comfortable, feels normal and is what I was looking for my whole life. Everyone is different, their goals are different I completely agree and it should be that way, fell free to ignore what I say. I am probably half nuts and none too bright if I am being honest with myself.
I just know that I was uncomfortable before, now I am not. I had to learn some things and unlearn others but that list that seems to be scoffed at feels right to me. I am very awkward and struggle to be better, but I am happy now. Even if it is less than.
I do not mean to offend anyone, I have been irritable lately and can probably be very offensive. It is not my intent though.
Take care everyone.
