Quote from: Dietlind on January 09, 2019, 03:32:58 PM
I have the same feeling, and I also don't like the muscular Rambo type males. Interesting enough, my wife did also not like either. And I don't care for facial hair of any version.
For the time being, I think a man who would be interesting for me should be pretty feminine. I would have no problem with a pre op trans woman, in fact this would be the type of partner I would prefer.
I have been more of a no-sexual in the past year. Not at all asexual, just in a destructive relationship with my kids mother. It has been sort of a master/slave relationship where she lords over me like I'm her slave. I was just there to service her needs, if you know what I mean. .......
Ok, I'm back. I literally just got called away to come outside to be screamed, belittled and ridiculed by that loathsome cis-woman for a huge paver stone that has been in the back yard for 6-7 years that had a small chip off the corner! Never mind that my disabled self struggled to carefully move those heavy pavers out of the way so that I could labor with a shovel and pick axe in black expansive clay, by myself, to lay out her new French drain. Never mind the fact that this slave is saving her thousands of dollars and doing a fairly correct and high quality job to boot. No wonder I find her few sexual advances a year to be revolting. It makes me feel cheap and dirty. When I come out to her about being transgender, I can only expect the worse of the worse to happen. She is that unhinged.
Then there are her 3 daughters that still live at home. One just graduated from the local state university. They are Houma Native and claim to be open minded and inclusive. I look forward to when I tell them and on my reveal day as my true self. As I said in another thread, everyone had their prejudices, in one shape or form. It is going to be an interesting life lesson for them when they discover that their open-minded, accepting character is fraught with the very prejudices that they claim to be above.
Enough of that. Britney is a positive gal with positive star guiding her to a bright horizon! So, I have been sort of turned off by women in the past two years. Only recently, as I stopped suppressing Britney to a dark corner, that an interest in men has started to flourish. Unlike a lot of transgender women, I am not particularly ashamed of or disgusted by my male self. Don't get me wrong, I wished I was born female or, at the least, transitioned around puberty. However, the old me is me. It is 50 years of my past that cannot be denied nor does it need to be repressed into a dark corner like Britney was. I see myself as two halves of a whole with my female side the actual dominant and very feminine. It was wrong for me to suppress my female side for so long. I am planning on not repeating that mistake.
I am still in that flux between my old persona and my newly liberated self. The male in me was pure heterosexual. What I thought were once homosexual thoughts of my neighborhood best friend and the sexual exploration that we shared, turned out to be Britney step'n out. I had assumed that she was heterosexual, as well. Lately, I have explored the possibility that I am possibly Bi, Lesbian and now, pan sexual! I really won't know who I am till I get out of this current toxic relationship and strike out on my own. That will happen as my transition progresses. All I am sure of is that I was meant to be a woman, but random luck dealt me an odd hand. So I am open to where this journey takes me.
