Hi all!

Its been a while since I posted anything here, the holiday period is finally over and I don't need to deal with all the family I hardly ever see for another whole year!

The last few months for me have been quite hard, my depression has come back for the first time in over 6 months and the anti social behaviour just the same.
Last Wednesday I had my first appointment with a clinical psychologist / therapist as I am seeking to start HRT.

This was a huge step for me in regards to starting my transition and really scary as well, thankfully my usual Therapist had sent the Dr an email prior to my appointment explaining how I was nervous and how much I needed this, which is quite thoughtful and kind of her.

Well the good news is I have been given the Ok to start HRT, all I have to do is read a health warning document and sign it and hand it in for my next appointment before I start.

The other thing that is just eating away at me is my brain constantly trying to tell me there is just something wrong with me and I am just being stupid? did anyone else feel like this even after they sought HRT and starting their transition?

My main question in this thread is. What was the very first things you did to start your transition? Was it just wearing something subtle that represents how you have always felt on the inside but not going all out?

Was it just painting your nails? Personally I have just started to wear more pink as I have always loved the colour but was raised in a very masculine and manly household. I have also started shaving twice daily.

Does anyone have any advice on starting transition? just something small that may have helped you?

I am starting slow as I might be sure I am a women at heart but I sure as well don't know how to look like one lol.

<3

Congratulations on getting approval to start HRT!  That is the first step in the biological part of your transition.

Quote from: ShannonH on January 25, 2019, 06:03:45 AM
The other thing that is just eating away at me is my brain constantly trying to tell me there is just something wrong with me and I am just being stupid? did anyone else feel like this even after they sought HRT and starting their transition?

Heck, yes!  I think every one of us has had these doubts.  They get less frequent as you take more steps forward and become more sure of yourself.

Even today, two years into HRT, I will occasionally think, "This is all such a pain in the butt.  Wouldn't it have been easier to just remain a guy?"  At this point, I can easily talk myself out of that by reminding myself of the spiral of depression that I was headed towards prior to transition, and of the joy that I feel now as my real self.  I could not ever go back.  Yet the thought still pops up from time to time.  I just whack it down again now.

Quote from: ShannonH on January 25, 2019, 06:03:45 AMWhat was the very first things you did to start your transition? Was it just wearing something subtle that represents how you have always felt on the inside but not going all out?

Was it just painting your nails? Personally I have just started to wear more pink as I have always loved the colour but was raised in a very masculine and manly household. I have also started shaving twice daily.

The very first thing, after I came out to my wife was that she took me shopping for underwear and clothes.  I started underdressing all the time and wearing women's clothes at home.  My next step was seeking out a therapist so that I could get started on hormones as soon as possible.

My advice would be to keep on taking one step at a time.  Try not to get freaked out by the big picture.  Even the longest journey is made one step at a time.  So decide the next step, do what you need to do to prepare for it, then take it.  Repeat as required.

Hello again Shannon

Please let us know when you start HRT and I assume it will be very soon.

First things I did either before or at the same time as starting HRT were:

1. Wearing female underwear and nightwear always
2. Increasing female wardrobe slowly for private use
3. Practising make up but this really does take time
4. Using female bath/shower foam and creams and deodorant

As you may know, all my life I have crossdressed and bodyshaved and hence I did not  need to start anything in that line!

Hugs

Pamela

Thank you Lady's 🙂

I have just gone out and bought myself a new wardrobe well the start of one anyway, nothing over the top just something to make me feel better and get things started. 🙂

So many things have also become more noticeable such as why I always avoided looking in the mirror, most days I wouldn't even look at my self at all as I was not happy with what I would see.

Also just general care for myself was not very important, but now I have such will and determination to move forward and focus on me. it really is a good feeling.

Quote from: ShannonH on January 25, 2019, 06:03:45 AMMy main question in this thread is. What was the very first things you did to start your transition? Was it just wearing something subtle that represents how you have always felt on the inside but not going all out?

Was it just painting your nails? Personally I have just started to wear more pink as I have always loved the colour but was raised in a very masculine and manly household. I have also started shaving twice daily.

Yes, it was wearing women's things, starting with things that wouldn't be noticed, and gradually feminizing my presentation more and more until suddenly everyone could see 🙂 but by then I had acquired enough self-confidence that it didn't scare me to death anymore.

The first cosmetic I used was clear lip gloss, for obvious reasons, then changing to a color close to their natural color. I loved painting my nails, and wore clear nail polish at first; I don't remember how long it took me to wear a noticeable color, but it was probably one of the last things I did, because I was afraid of losing my job. But painting my nails has always been one of the most gender-affirming things I have ever done for myself.

If you haven't gone shopping for clothes yet, please don't let it scare you. Most salespeople are more interested in your money than in your reasons for buying girl clothes. There are exceptions, but don't worry about them. If you run into one, just shrug and go on, knowing you just ran into one of the exceptions, not the rule.

First thing for me was that my body to decide to grow boobs (yes, boobs, not moobs).  At that time (I still presented as male), I came out o everybody over the course of two months.   Shortly after coming out, I went full time and got my ears pierced, and about a month later my general physician send me to an endocrinologist who put me on estrogen.  About another few weeks later I went to see a therapist.  i think that i did the last steps first, compared with other trans women here.

Quote from: Ann W on January 27, 2019, 06:34:43 AM

If you haven't gone shopping for clothes yet, please don't let it scare you. Most salespeople are more interested in your money than in your reasons for buying girl clothes. There are exceptions, but don't worry about them. If you run into one, just shrug and go on, knowing you just ran into one of the exceptions, not the rule.

I think that this is an important sentence, be confident and assertive.
when I went shopping, a attendant of a dressing room wanted to send me to the male section, and I asked her why, she said you look like a male, I asked her "want to see my parts?"  She did not say anything and let me go into the female section!
Confidence and being assertive is the name of the game for easy transition!