I had lunch with my Mom today.  We were talking about how lousy health insurance is, and I mentioned about how hard it is for me to get a therapist with my current insurance.  She asked what I was seeing a therapist for, and I totally chickened out.  She asked if I didn't want to tell her and I said that it was complicated. 
So, on our way back to my work, I tell her that I'm going to see a gender therapist.  She was pretty supportive about it.  She's really religious, so she wasn't about to tell me that it was okay to transition, but she definitely thought it was a good idea for me to see a therapist.  She said that she understood how hard something like GID must be (she actually used the words "Gender Identity" before I did!), and to keep her posted on how my visit with the therapist goes. 
Whew.  We sort of chewed the fat on a few other topics, not worth mentioning, but all in all, it went way better than I thought it would. 

Well, so far so good, it seems.

I love to hear these stories of supportive mom's! I'm glad it went well for ya.

Amanda

i'm so glad for everyone that does, i don't and i have come to terms with that.


Best Wishes, Jessica

Mickie,
The New Warrior Princess

Thanks everyone!  Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to tell my Dad. 

Posted on: April 10, 2008, 01:01:17 PM

---

Been talking more to my Mom.  Everything's been going okay. 
I'm telling my Dad next week.  I think my Mom has already told him, but I'm going to have a one-on-one with him and let him know what's been going on. 
I'm really surprised.  This is going way better than I thought it would. 


Posted on: April 11, 2008, 05:59:01 PM

---

So last night, I met up with my Dad for dinner.  He knew I'd been to see the therapist earlier that day, and he asked how it went.  We talked a bit about my therapist, and a little about where I wanted to go with therapy, and he was just really nice about it.  He said he'd been doing some looking around on his own for information.  I was totally surprised.  I really thought he'd react the other way and be totally upset. 
Here I was, totally prepared for a huge uphill battle and nothing.  Both my parents are handling this incredibly well. 
*Breathes huge sigh of relief*

Congrats Jessica... sounds like you have some really cool parents, you
should cherish them. I'm really happy for you

Quote'm so glad for everyone that does, i don't and i have come to terms with that.

Yea, me neither Micki and I came to terms with that a long time ago. I think that's
why it makes me so happy to hear about parents like Jessica's.

Amanda

Thank you, Amanda!   
I know that I'm really lucky to have parents that are so understanding.  I'm so used to hearing stories about other peoples' parents that I was totally terrified to talk to my own.  Since I was starting therapy though, I decided that it'd be better to tell them what was going on.  I wanted them to know what was happening from the beginning so that when it does come time for HRT or whatever I wind up doing, no one's going to be surprised. 

QuoteI'm so used to hearing stories about other peoples' parents that I was totally terrified to talk to my own

I've come to realize that 90% of the horror stories about other people don't apply to me lol... of course
I never know the 10% to believe.

Oh... your welcome sweets

Amanda

Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on April 16, 2008, 05:26:15 PM

I've come to realize that 90% of stories about other people don't apply to me lol... of course
I never know the 10% to believe.


Amanda

LOL

It's true isn't it?   I figured that no matter how they reacted, I was going to have to tell my parents anyway.  I thought I'd be better off doing it sooner than later.  It certainly was terrifying.  I was a nervous wreck pretty much all last week (or at least every time I thought about it). 

Since she already knew about GID, I bet she
has done some internet research about it
and she's been doubting things already.
Parents are not as oblivious as we think they are 

Alright-- a bit of an update. 

A few weeks ago, I get a call from my Dad telling me how upset my Mom is with what I'm doing.  Now what I'm doing right now is dressing androgynously, not cutting my hair, that kind of thing.  Not much more than that.  I haven't taken any huge steps-- no hormones yet, and I'm saving money up for laser.  So I talk my Dad down a bit, tell him that I can't help what I'm going through, that I'm in therapy, and getting help.  I'm crying the whole time.  He says they love me and that's the end of the conversation. 
The next time I talk to my Mom, she says that she thinks it's the devil trying to ruin my life and all that jazz.  I'm not trying to be flip about it, but I've heard all this before.  In fact, I used to tell myself the very same things for years.  I'm sure there's plenty of people who know exactly what I'm talking about.  Anyway, I tell my Mom that I disagree, that it's the doubt about myself that will really ruin my life.  At this point, we're sort of at the point where we're just agreeing to disagree. 

I'm hoping that the situation will get better as my parents have more time to deal with everything.

*huggles*
i really hope everything turns out well for you.
what your mom said about the devil and all... that's actually re main reason why i left the Church also- but at the moment, i'm not finding any more acceptance boy other place either... so i don't think it has something to do with her religion being a bit prejudice. just give them time. they'll come around. what you can also do is talk to your therapist and ask him/her to talk to your parents- even if it's just over the phone.
people just get things better when they hear it from a professional.

*huggles* Sweety.

Thanks, Eloise.  Very nice of you to say. 
*hugs* back!

Anyway, I saw my Mum yesterday for a bit, and she was actually a lot better about everything.  She was saying I should get a second opinion, that kind of thing.  Not to stop seeing my therapist, just to see someone else a few times as well, and make sure that all the bases are covered.  I've already been planning on doing that, so once I said so, my Mum seemed to calm down quite a bit. 
I think she's under the impression that things are happening very fast (even though it feels to me like things can't happen fast enough).  I have to remind myself that she's dealing with something she only found out about a few months ago, while I've been going through all of this for years. 
And here's the best part-- she didn't mention the devil.  Not once. 

Haha- i had the 'second opinion' being played on me alot. well- when my parents split up i had to go to three different therapists and when the issue me my gender came up in conversation, they always tried to fish what the other had to say about it. Haha

I also had to do remind myself... and I'm telling you, it's not quite easy to understand. put myself in their shoes- sure. understand how come they don't get what I'm going through- not quite. Haha 

it's probably a good sign that your mom hasn't mentioned the devil. *smiles*
although- my mom is praying i would 'find my way' in life' soon. kind of annoying i must admit. (-^.^-)

good luck with the other therapists you're about to see. i just hope your mom takes it well if they give the same evaluation.

chat soon jessica.
see you round.
*huggles*

Hi Jessica L. I was about ready to go out the door when I found this thread. I am not certain what all I can advise you with but I am willing to do a little trouble shooting later with you when I get back home.

Cindy

I know that I'm really lucky to have parents that are so understanding.

If you believe in god, you ought to be thanking the deity for that, for sure.  This is a blessing beyond all else.  The difference between family support or not is beyond huge.

Eloise-- Thanks for the well-wishes!  I think I might be waiting another month or so before going after a second opinion, as I've only seen my own therapist a total of four times so far.  I think I've got plenty to deal with without trying to see another therapist right now. 

Cindy-- thanks for the offer!  I think I might take you up on that.

Tekla-- Absolutely right.  While my parents aren't just saying "whatever you need" they're still talking to me, and like you're saying the difference between having the support and not is absolutely huge. 

 

Hi, Jessica L.,
It sounds to me to be the response of a typical parent realizing and not just recognizing the problem.  Suspicion is one thing, actuality quite another.  The coming into focus of this phenomenon that can be a bit of a shock even if they did suspect it for some time.

I think everything will work out OK. I believe your mother knew a lot more about this than you realize. I could be thinking about someone else's post but was it not you that said it was your mom that told your dad?  And later, your dad was the one who contacted you to tell you your mom was having some difficulties? It appears that your Dad at this point will support whatever you mom decides.  Maybe he is waiting on your mother to show him the way before making any decisions.

I am only guessing here and I pray that I have come to understanding this scenario correctly.

If I am correct then there is much hope of gaining their support just don't push to hard.

Cindy

 

Hi Cindy--
Yep, sounds like you've got my story straight (good job!).  I think you're right, I just need to give them time without pushing too hard.  Having not been pushing for a couple weeks, they seem a little more comfortable with it.  I guess we'll see how things go.
Thanks for the encouragement!

Hi Jessica L.  you are quite welcome. Yea just relax until you get the opinion of that 2nd therapist. It should be one that is a least knowledgeable about transsexual. The one I had was just a regular psychiatrist I was seeing for a bipolar disorder. I did most of the research myself for him so that he could set up appointments so I could get properly assessed as being TS. Would you believe that was at the Clark Institute in Toronto? mmmm, 9 years ago. Of course that was pre Zucher time.

Again I did my own research and again arranged for my psychiatrist to get an appointment with an endo so I could get on HRT. I ended up doing most of the foot work myself. I just stuck with my shrink because it's like when you find a realy comfortable pair of old slippers and you hate to throw them away because you have become attached to them. Anyway there were no gender therapists closer then Toronto which was about 200 miles from where I was living. Well I made it anyways and I am here in the now.

I realy don't know if this helps in anyway, except that I hope you get another therapist who is knowledgeable about TS. If nothing else at least I do pray this post was entertaining. 

Have a wonderful day sis.

Cindy