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I'm a long-time, nervous lurker, hi!

Started by transspoonie, January 23, 2019, 04:39:39 PM

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transspoonie

Hello! My name is Alexander, I use he/him pronouns, and I'm a nonbinary, queer trans man. This website helped me come out, answered countless questions, and helped me help others do the same. I just, uh... Get anxious about joining new forums, haha. After lurking nonstop for the past month, both before and after my top surgery, I figured I should finally join. :)

I'm turning 21 in March, I love to draw, write, and play video games, and I'm pursuing a (very slow) Associate's in Psychology + Bachelor's in Sociology after that. Not entirely sure what I'll do with them, given I can only work from home for the foreseeable future, but I'll figure it out. I got married to my "high school sweetheart," a wonderful nonbinary person with a heart of gold, last year in June and we have two, fluffy daughters: a 12-year-old, miniature dachshund named Penny and a 1 1/2-year-old cat named Tulip.

I started HRT a year and a half ago, and just had a wonderful top surgery experience with Dr. Sherie in Charlotte, NC. My future plans involve phalloplasty (and all the assorted surgeries associated with it) and... Well, that's it. I'm actually pretty happy with myself, now that I have a 5 lb weight off my chest; PCOS has its hairy, testosterone-boosting benefits, I guess? I was one of those "always knew" trans kids, as much as I denied it. It's funny how many little things should have given it away, both to myself and my family. Instead, it took 16 years for me to finally realize and accept the truth.

16 years feels like a drop in the bucket compared to so many of you wonderful people who realized and/or came out so much later, and I know I'm lucky to be able to transition so young. Still, wow! Everyone here looks so beautiful/handsome/(insert desired descriptor here), it makes me want to cry with joy. I'm uh, a bit sensitive. And T, contrary to my initial fears, has only made me more of an empathetic, manly crier. :D

Also, as my username suggests, I'm disabled. As a result, I really like how intersectional Susan's is; I've read a lot of threads answering disability-related transition questions, and everyone is so kind and understanding, even if they haven't experienced it themselves. I have a lot of physical, emotional, and developmental issues that many online/offline trans spaces aren't very welcoming/understanding of, so it's wonderful to have a place like Susan's to read and relate to.

I uh, don't know how often I'll post after this thread, but I'll try my best to not fall back into lurkerdom. :)





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Northern Star Girl

@transspoonie
Dear Alexander:
     I am so very happy to see that you have become a member Susan's Place and now have posted for the first time here on the Forums.

    As you post here on the forums you will be able to exchange thoughts and comments with others that are experiencing many of the same things that you are.

    This is the right place for you to be to find out what others may have to say that may have been in your circumstances and with your questions and concerns.
    There are a lot of members here that will be able to identify with your situation as you continue to feel free to share it.

    I also want to warmly WELCOME you to Susan's Place
You will find this a safe and friendly place to share with others and to read about others similar trials, tribulations, and successes.

    As you are certainly aware you can share with others and involve yourself with some give and take with other like-minded members.  When frustrated or if you have successes you can share it here if you wish and receive support from others and offer support to others. ....
     ***There is a very good chance that you might find that you will make some new like-minded friends here. 

    Please come in and continue to be involved at your own pace.
   
    I have attached important and informative LINKS that will help you to navigate around the Forums and will allow you to enjoy the features here.     
Please look closely at the LINKS in RED, answers are there to many questions that new members ask.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Danielle


Here are some links to the site rules and stuff that all new members should be familiar with:
 
Things that you should read


****Help support this website by:
Subscribing !     and/or by    Donating !

❤️❤️❤️  Check out my Personal Blog Threads below
to read more details about me and my life.
  ❤️❤️❤️
             (Click Links below):  [Oldest first]
  Aspiringperson is now Alaskan Danielle    
           I am the Hunted Prey : Danielle's Chronicles    
                  A New Chapter: Alaskan Danielle's Chronicles    
                             Danielle's Continuing Life Adventures
I started HRT March 2015 and
I've been Full-Time since December 2016.
I love living in a small town in Alaska
I am 45 years old and Single

        Email:  --->  alaskandanielle@
                             yahoo.com
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transspoonie

Thank you for the warm welcome, Danielle. I'll give those links another read; I think I got through most of them pre-posting. :)





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HappyMoni

Hi Alexander, thanks for sharing. Congrats for your progress and plans. I am presently having computer problems or I would be around  more to pester you into not lurking. The Bogart hat and trench coat creep me out. 'Play it again, Sam.' Anyway, I seriously hope you feel free to share as well as lurk. I found sharing made the time before reaching my goals easier to deal with. If you must go silent, I understand, but you will miss out on these wonderfully harrassing posts from crazies such as myself. Actually, I'm not crazy, my Mom had me tested. (Line from Big Bang Theory?) Anyway, by now you are either more relaxed or totally weirded out by this. I was aiming for the former.  ;D Oh, I like your name! Take care!
Warmy,
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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transspoonie

Quote from: HappyMoni on January 23, 2019, 06:32:25 PMThe Bogart hat and trench coat creep me out. 'Play it again, Sam.'

Your whole post, but this especially, made me smile. It's nice to meet you, Moni. I like your name, too; it was actually my mother's nickname growing up, and I think you share her sense of (fun, and a bit off-kilter) humor. I hope your computer problems are sorted out soon for maximum pestering.

I hope sharing helps me, too. It has in the past, but I always feel a little out of my league on public forums; their rules are rarely as cut and dry, open and shut, and undeniably accepting as Susan's are.





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KimOct

Transspoonie - From reading your post and replies I think you are delightful  :)  I understand being self-conscious as I deal with that also but I assure you I have read some really out there stuff on forums. LOL.  You are fine and I am glad you are here and I hope you continue to post.

Welcome !!
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself
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HappyMoni

Alexander,
   Is your mother's name Monica? At any rate, I'm honored to share it with her.

   A lot of folks make the mistake of thinking that they have to say isn't important or helpful to others. The idea of Susan's is to be a safe place for support. What you share is important, to you and to others. I would urge you not to be shy.

   As for my computer, I think it is 'swimming with the fishes.' I consulted my local voodoo specialist, tried kicking it on the side a few times and it just sits there with a blank expression staring at me. Ugh! Well, look me up if you find you need someone to 'lurk' at. I am a certified 'lurkee.'
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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transspoonie

KimOct,

Thank you, that's an incredibly sweet thing to say. I've seen some pretty out there things, too, and I consider myself a pretty out there person; I suppose it is just my nerves talking, then. Thank you again for the warm welcome. :)


Moni,

It's Ramona, actually. I imagine, hearing her referred to as Moni in the past, many people have asked her the same thing.

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I'm not actually that shy, when I get comfortable; for better or worse, I'm known to accidentally dominate conversations. I wish I could blame socialization/culture in some way, but I think it's because I'm autistic, and I often have many words to say that just can't seem to wait. Forums posts, like letters or emails, help me slow down and think my words through better. I'm the kind of texter who sends three different messages for a single question, for example. ;D

Well, that's unfortunate. My old laptop was getting close to that, and I had to replace it before it kicked the proverbial bucket. I hope you can fix it, or get a suitable replacement, soon. I'll also be sure to lurk, and reply, to you as I get the chance.





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Ricki Wright

Hello Brother and fellow Lurkee! I hope you keep us posted on your journey. It might help the next person to stop lurking :D

Ricki
At 5 I forgot who I am. Fortunately, who I am protected me all these years until I remembered. Whatever else happens, I will live the rest of my life whole.
My story: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244130.0.html
HRT 07Nov18
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V M

Hi Alexander  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's Place  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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MeTony

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transspoonie

Ricki, V M, Tony:

Thank you all for the warm welcome! I really appreciate it. :)





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KimOct

I assume most people have heard the phrase 'head to mouth' ( not thinking it through before you say it ) well this will be 'head to keyboard' LOL.   I was looking at Tony's avatar pic and it reminded me of something from my local trans group.

There is one regular attendee - a guy - very nice - and I always thought oh that is so nice he is here to support someone.

Turns out I finally learn that he is a transman. OMG I am so stupid LOL.  In general I think transmen pass so much easier than transwomen.  And the ones I have met are good looking too !!

Just cracked me up when I remembered what a knucklehead I am.
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself
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Sophiaprincess2019

Welcome Alexander. You can always expect everyone here to support you and make you feel part of the family. Many of us have similar experiences: waited a long time to come to terms with ourselves, over came large obstacles in our hearts and minds, etc. I'm happy that you feel confident enough to share with us your story.
1968 Born male but actually girl
1978 Played in girl clothes
1988 Dressed in girl clothes
1998 Wanted to be a girl socially
2008 Trying lying to myself
2018 Dreamed of becoming a girl
12-8-2018 Knew I was a woman
2-22-2019 Started HRT
2-22-2024 Transition completed
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transspoonie

KimOct,

Haha, I've done that before! I've met a few trans women at my local support/discussion group that passed so well, I was stunned to discover they were AMAB. It's always a little embarrassing, but I try to look on the bright side; if I don't notice, I doubt any cis people will, either.

Sophiaprincess2019,

Thank you! Everyone on Susan's Place has been so welcoming and kind, and I definitely appreciate all of your support.





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HappyMoni

Alexander, glad to see you are turning out to be a terrible lurker. lol Loving watching you participate!   ;D
Moni
If I ever offend you, let me know. It's not what I am about.
"Never let the dark kill your light!"  (SailorMars)

HRT June 11, 2015. (new birthday) - FFS in late June 2016. (Dr. _____=Ugh!) - Full time June 18, 2016 (Yeah! finally) - GCS June 27, 2017. (McGinn=Yeah!) - Under Eye repair from FFS 8/17/17 - Nose surgery-November 20, 2017 (Dr. Papel=Yeah) - Hair Transplant on June 21, 2018 (Dr. Cooley-yeah) - Breast Augmentation on July 10, 2018 (Dr. Basner in Baltimore) - Removed bad scarring from FFS surgery near ears and hairline in August, 2018 (Dr. Papel) -Sept. 2018, starting a skin regiment on face with Retin A  April 2019 -repairing neck scar from FFS

]
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