My transgender journey has so much farther to go, but I've also come a long way.  I'm not on hormones yet, nor am I out full time.  I still present as male outside the house, but live as female at home.  Little by little I am making progress in my transition.  Still, I can't wait to be a woman.  I've always wanted to be female.  Whenever I look at women I watch them in admiration, wishing I looked like they did; wishing that I had the life that I have always felt that I was supposed to have but never could.  Lately, I've found that I am growing more and more uncomfortable in life as a man.  For months now I've been hanging on, biding my time waiting to start hormones, and I'm losing patience.  Hopefully soon I'll begin HRT.  Right now, I am just waiting on my health insurance to begin.  Until then, I find myself growing impatient to become the woman I've always wanted to be.

Danielle

Sounds very much like my own situation, though I've been presenting as female in public for around 4 years now. No insurance though, here in Australia, to cover transitioning in any way at all as far as I'm aware. It costs well over $100k to transition here and I have to pay every cent of it myself. I'm also paying child support for 2 children in 2 countries too, so I'll probably be dead defore I ever get to transition. Things look pretty good where you are at from where I'm at.

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Quote from: Chaerlie Bjerkenstök on January 25, 2019, 08:05:59 PM
Sounds very much like my own situation, though I've been presenting as female in public for around 4 years now. No insurance though, here in Australia, to cover transitioning in any way at all as far as I'm aware. It costs well over $100k to transition here and I have to pay every cent of it myself. I'm also paying child support for 2 children in 2 countries too, so I'll probably be dead defore I ever get to transition. Things look pretty good where you are at from where I'm at.

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We have several members from your country including @Cindy and a fair amount of the treatment is covered under your governments health care program. Some surgeries aren't covered and you do need to pay extra to get the better coverage. There is a hitch and that is the surgeons available are the ones located in your country so out of country surgeons require you pay out of pocket.

I was in your shoes 7 years ago. Stuck in a dead end job, then the plant shut down and I was unemployed. I had just gotten sole custody of my son then his mother passed. All of this made transitioning impossible. Three years ago I finally landed a good job and my son graduated high school and was going off to college.

I came out and started my journey following the WPATH guidelines. Two and a half years later and I'm still looking at a distant finish line. I had hoped to be so much further, but it takes time. I used to joke, "I'm not a doctor, so I don't have patience."

Keep your chin up. Keep your hopes and dreams alive. Life gets in the way sometimes. You will get there.

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I am going to give a little 'tough love' here.  My intentions are good - I promise.  We all have challenges and to prove it I will list just some of mine.

Of my 3 children 2 of them are non verbal autistic. They are all in their early 20s now.  I have been laid off a great job that I had for 25 years and now make 1/3 of what I used to make.  I have been battling bladder and kidney cancer for 7 years and lost one kidney in 2017.  I have had 2 heart attacks - one called a widow maker but I survived.

I could go on but I made my point.

Transitioning is not about having 100K or a job that you fear losing etc etc. You can transition without all the surgeries.  I have only had an orchiectomy and you don't even need to do that.  Young children are the one thing I can accept as a reason to delay and I am sure there are other reasons that we have that outweigh the need to transition at the moment.  But for the most part reasons are usually rationalizations that are really ways to avoid the fear.

Nobody 'has to' transition.  If other things in life are more important then that is great.  I really mean that.  The point is why do you want to transition and what is REALLY stopping you.  I wanted FFS.  The money fell through.  I do not pass.  I transitioned anyway.  Was it hard.  Of course.  But what is the point of taking your secret to your grave?  Live life while you are still alive.

Again I want to stress very strongly that not everyone should transition.  What everyone should do is examine the reasons for their decisions and live their life accordingly.  Do not let fear control you.  The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself.

These days it is quite possible to learn to learn more feminine speech using online resources.  Why not learn now?

Quote from: Maid Marion on January 27, 2019, 03:32:43 AM
These days it is quite possible to learn to learn more feminine speech using online resources.  Why not learn now?

That is a great idea!  Thank you so much!  Are there any online resources that you would recommend?

Danielle

Quote from: KimOct on January 27, 2019, 01:53:03 AM
I am going to give a little 'tough love' here.  My intentions are good - I promise.  We all have challenges and to prove it I will list just some of mine.

Of my 3 children 2 of them are non verbal autistic. They are all in their early 20s now.  I have been laid off a great job that I had for 25 years and now make 1/3 of what I used to make.  I have been battling bladder and kidney cancer for 7 years and lost one kidney in 2017.  I have had 2 heart attacks - one called a widow maker but I survived.

I could go on but I made my point.

Transitioning is not about having 100K or a job that you fear losing etc etc. You can transition without all the surgeries.  I have only had an orchiectomy and you don't even need to do that.  Young children are the one thing I can accept as a reason to delay and I am sure there are other reasons that we have that outweigh the need to transition at the moment.  But for the most part reasons are usually rationalizations that are really ways to avoid the fear.

Nobody 'has to' transition.  If other things in life are more important then that is great.  I really mean that.  The point is why do you want to transition and what is REALLY stopping you.  I wanted FFS.  The money fell through.  I do not pass.  I transitioned anyway.  Was it hard.  Of course.  But what is the point of taking your secret to your grave?  Live life while you are still alive.

Again I want to stress very strongly that not everyone should transition.  What everyone should do is examine the reasons for their decisions and live their life accordingly.  Do not let fear control you.  The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself.

I definitely want to transition.  It's something I've wanted since I was a small child, even though I did not know or understand what transgender was.  That was over three decades ago and it was only about 9 months or so ago that I came to terms with my being transgender.  Knowing what I have learned since embracing my femininity, when I look back throughout my life I see obvious signs to my gender identity that I just couldn't see back then.  And yes, I still have a little transphobe in me that interferes with my transition.  My therapist is helping me in that area.  I decided several months ago that I would undergo HRT.  The only thing missing is my employer's health insurance, which I could not sign up for until late November or early December 2018.  I was hoping I'd have my insurance card by now so I could go to an HRT appointment, but until then I'm playing the "Waiting" game.

Danielle

Quote from: Danielle Kristina on January 27, 2019, 11:12:41 PM
I definitely want to transition.  It's something I've wanted since I was a small child, even though I did not know or understand what transgender was.  That was over three decades ago and it was only about 9 months or so ago that I came to terms with my being transgender.  Knowing what I have learned since embracing my femininity, when I look back throughout my life I see obvious signs to my gender identity that I just couldn't see back then.  And yes, I still have a little transphobe in me that interferes with my transition.  My therapist is helping me in that area.  I decided several months ago that I would undergo HRT.  The only thing missing is my employer's health insurance, which I could not sign up for until late November or early December 2018.  I was hoping I'd have my insurance card by now so I could go to an HRT appointment, but until then I'm playing the "Waiting" game.

Danielle

Danielle - So glad you are seeing a therapist - I think that is huge.  A therapist is not about 'fixing' us rather it is about helping us navigate the challenges of transition.  It is a tough thing to do and harder for some than others.

Since you have determined that this is your path I wish you much happiness and be ready for a roller coaster of joys and challenges but in the long run for me it was well worth it and I hope you find the same.

Many of my posts are not written exclusively with the original author in mind as much as the lurkers out there because I think they are the ones that need our experiences the most.

My very best wishes.