So I've been considering this for a while but im so unsure.So I am non-binary but am significantly more on the feminine side of the spectrum if that makes sense. I've considered getting GCS for a while now and im honestly really torn.

I don't really have any genital dysphoria but i am not really the biggest fan of having a penis. What it comes down to really is that i want to be able to have sex without the lengthy, mood killing process of having to prepare for anal. Also i absolutely hate tucking and wish i could wear the clothes i wanted without being super uncomfortable, paranoid of bulging and slightly dysphoric. These might sound like stupid reasons but my dick is really a huge inconvinience and i would be a lot happier with a vagina.

HOWEVER having the surgery is not that easy and comes with a lot of maintenance, pain and potential complications. Im also worried about where to have the surgery. Ideally i would have it in thailand but the thing is i can't afford it. However it's free in my country but i can't find really any information about it or any testimonial/before and after pictures. The information about it is pretty much non existent so im worried about potentially putting an irreversible life changing surgery in the hands of a surgeon i know very little about. Im sure i would be informed during the consultation etc but still it feels not so comfortable.Not to mention dilation for the rest of my life and potentially very little depth.Orgasm and sex is also a concern for me. Will i be able to orgasm after? Will i only be able to do that through clitoral stimulation or is penetration alone enough? I assume not.

Im just really really torn. I wish i didn't have to deal with having a dick and anal sex but im also quite scared and uncertain about the consequences of a vaginoplasty. Despite the many benefits.



EDIT: Another concern i have is that it would affect dating. I don't really pass as female so having a vagina might be a problem depending on what kind of men i attract.

For me, 100% worth it. I don't know if I pass or not but I feel whole.

Quote from: jill610 on January 29, 2019, 02:56:48 PM
For me, 100% worth it. I don't know if I pass or not but I feel whole.

I feel whole having what i already have. It's more about convenience and comfort for me.

Quote from: SHIKI on January 29, 2019, 03:08:57 PM
I feel whole having what i already have. It's more about convenience and comfort for me.

In what sense?

The dialating gets pretty low maintenance after about a year.

Quote from: SHIKI on January 29, 2019, 03:08:57 PM
I feel whole having what i already have. It's more about convenience and comfort for me.

Would that not be the answer for you then?

I feel so much better after my GCS 16 months ago.  My dysphoria over my lower body and genetalia is gone.  My clothes fit better.

Dropping spironolactone from my meds is nice, as I no longer have all the side effects.  Feminization took a bump up, even with 1 1/2 years of HRT done at the time of GCS.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 29, 2019, 03:12:09 PM
Would that not be the answer for you then?

Staying the way i am or GCS?

Quote from: jill610 on January 29, 2019, 03:10:54 PM
In what sense?

The dialating gets pretty low maintenance after about a year.

In the way that sex would be easier, clothes will fit me better, i won't have to tuck or worry about my dick at all. But at the same time the whole process and upkeep of GCS seems like a lot. I don't know if it's worth for me being somone who has no genital dysphoria.

Quote from: SHIKI on January 29, 2019, 03:08:57 PM
I feel whole having what i already have. It's more about convenience and comfort for me.

@SHIKI
Dear SHIKI:
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@SHIKI
Oh, and another thing SHIKI...
When you have a moment,  please plan to find your way to the Introductions Forum so that more members will be aware of your arrival and will be aware of your thoughts as you feel free to share them.
     
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NOTE:  Now that all of these important Greeting details are done with, I will let EVERYONE have your thread back so you all can continue to pursue the answers you are discussing.

That surgery is probably the one surgery that have me pause.

This is my story and maybe you can relate, maybe not.

I kept an internal barometer of yes or no.  When I started transition I was at 5% yes : 95% no.  As the months dragged on it became 25:75. Then one day, I remember the exact instant (3/6/2018 near 4:00pm), situation, feeling, that it went to 100:0 get this thing off me.  The dysphoria was more overwhelming than anything I had ever experienced.  It was terrible.  On Monday I was filling out paperwork to get it done.

But before it got that bad I had insurance pre-determined and surgeon set up. 

I guess what I'm saying is, you'll know when it's right.  Do the leg work now to get the logistics set up because IF/when it becomes critical you'll have all your ducks in a row.

BTW I'm almost 7 weeks post op.  The maintenance (dilation) is slightly different for every surgeon and the results are different too.  The care and feeding is not zero but once dilation slows way down it's close to what 1/2 the population puts up with without the monthly cycle.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

Quote from: SHIKI on January 29, 2019, 03:23:46 PM
Staying the way i am or GCS?In the way that sex would be easier, clothes will fit me better, i won't have to tuck or worry about my dick at all. But at the same time the whole process and upkeep of GCS seems like a lot. I don't know if it's worth for me being somone who has no genital dysphoria.

If you feel whole without SRS why would you want SRS?

You have to ask yourself if you feel complete with a penis or a vagina. If you feel complete with a penis then having SRS would possibly be a mistake. Honestly in terms of completeness only you can answer for you.

We can help you through experience for the after care and other things but it wouldn't be right to simply say get or don't get SRS.

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 29, 2019, 04:22:54 PM
If you feel whole without SRS why would you want SRS?

You have to ask yourself if you feel complete with a penis or a vagina. If you feel complete with a penis then having SRS would possibly be a mistake. Honestly in terms of completeness only you can answer for you.

We can help you through experience for the after care and other things but it wouldn't be right to simply say get or don't get SRS.

You're right, and im not really looking for a definitive do or don't. The main problem is that i would feel complete with either. I just can't decide what drawbacks are worse...

Quote from: SHIKI on January 29, 2019, 04:27:15 PM
You're right, and im not really looking for a definitive do or don't. The main problem is that i would feel complete with either. I just can't decide what drawbacks are worse...

In that case don't get SRS. You can always have it later if you realize that you need to but if you have it there is no going back.

GCS is a lot of bother. To start out with you may have a year or more to qualify for it. The surgery can be painful and you're not going to be worth much for up to two months while you recover from it. After that, you have an intense dilation schedule for the first year and dilation will continue for the rest of your life. In addition, some people find it's desirable to dilate before having sex.

On the other hand, I am still a virgin and probably will remain so for the remainder of my life. If I were to make the decision today, I would still decide to have surgery. Take your time to decide if all the trouble surgery will cause you will be worth the reward. Nobody can be absolutely sure about surgery, but make sure you can see a real benefit.

Speaking for myself, GCS is definitely worth it. I was in denial for over 50 years and just a few years ago, a number of events happened that led me to transition. My only regret is not transitioning earlier.

Whenever anyone asks me if transitioning is worth it, I reply GCS is a lot of pain and expense and should only be considered if you absolutely need to transition for your own personal sense of self. Transitioning for any other reason may lead to disappointment and regret.

I have the feeling that post op has almost as much (if not more) "prep" as anal, so I wouldn't do it thinking it would be "easier".  Orgasm is quite possible, although different (*given you don't have nasty complicatinos).  As for depth, only the surgeon will be able to evaluate achievable depth...  afterall, he's the one with the knife.  I'm with Dani. If you decide to do it, you have to do it for yourself.  It's quite involved.  For myself and others, it was necessary and well worth it.  I'd research your surgeon...  Free or not, you always have the choice to allow them to operate or not.  If you have doubt about the surgeon, tell them "Hell No!".  There are "revisions", but those revisions are not something to rely on.  They really need to do it right the first time.

I am 60 Days Post op and having GCS is one hell of a journey. To get there takes real commitment and something you really want. I was unsure for a long time and in the end it came down to looking deep inside myself and listening. Learning about what I want out of this and what I can possibly have. Dilation is not a big deal and reduces steadily over the first year. However you do need to prepare for the surgery and then the recovery is also a huge commitment.


If this is right for you then none of it will matter. I am not bothered by the dilation, the months or prep and the months of recovery. I have had small complications  which are annoying and have delayed my recovery but certainly nothing serious. I am completely numb to the touch but have plenty of other sensations with feeling slowly returning to different area's. I am quietly confident that I will be able to enjoy sex again.

I chronicled my entire journey from September 2018 including the surgery recovery (dec 2018) itself and it can be found here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,240702.0.html.