So Im seeing a gender therapist who also does CBT, and it's going well. We've made it very clear male is not what I see myself as and they dont believe I really need someone to help me affirm, more help me work out what to do. I want to post pone hormones until Ive had a child, but I have found something has helped massively with this.
Someone I have been extremely close with for a long time has started a relationship with me. Im so happy, she's known for years and helps me present female, and we both want to have a serious relationship and kids within the next few years once we have the financial means to do so.
On top of this, a stress related meltdown (caused by my family pushing my buttons one time too many over their opinions>my needs) and it hit home that they have neglected me in favor of dealing with my older sibling's violence and acting out. They want to put things right and help me, so Im going to come out to my dad soon. I talked to my Mum and she asked why I hadnt told her sooner than in the last 5 years and I explained that I didnt even think anyone would have noticed if I was dead at that point so I didnt expect anyone to listen or treat me well.
Ive been asked to be the maid of honour at my best friends wedding, and Im so touched.
Things are looking up massively.