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It took decades years to come out

Started by Zoey421, December 19, 2018, 10:41:33 AM

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Linde

Quote from: KimOct on January 21, 2019, 12:22:33 AM
Hi Dietland- Sorry I was off the site a few days.  Busy with work.  I assume your question is regarding a birth certificate.  My name change was in MN and that does not require anything of course.  You can change your name to anything you want.  The judge did offer to change my gender marker but it was moot because my birth cert is from Illinois.  He included an order to Illinois to change my birth cert but they were not required to do so and they did not.

So.... I changed my name in MN and they also did the Driver's License at the DMW.  The DMV required a letter from my therapist to change my DL to female. 

Km, thanks for the explanation!
Depending how it goes here, I might become a resident of MN again for a while!  As you said, all this stuff is really frustrating!

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Ricki Wright

My kids (16, 20, 26) took the news with the least fanfare of everyone I have shared with so far. The 26 year old asked if she could still call me "Dad" (I said yes), the 20 year old looked relieved that her parents were not getting a divorce (Kind of that "oh. is that all? Whew! I thought it was something horrible!" look) The 16 year old just nodded and smiled with that "I know everything at 16, the rest of my life will be boring" smile.

I am sorry to see yours did not go as well initially. Hopefully things will continue to improve.


Ricki

Side note: Do you know if you are a child of a Mom who took DES (Diethylstilbestrol)?
At 5 I forgot who I am. Fortunately, who I am protected me all these years until I remembered. Whatever else happens, I will live the rest of my life whole.
My story: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244130.0.html
HRT 07Nov18
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Zoey421

Quote from: Ricki Wright on January 21, 2019, 10:37:06 PM
My kids (16, 20, 26) took the news with the least fanfare of everyone I have shared with so far. The 26 year old asked if she could still call me "Dad" (I said yes), the 20 year old looked relieved that her parents were not getting a divorce (Kind of that "oh. is that all? Whew! I thought it was something horrible!" look) The 16 year old just nodded and smiled with that "I know everything at 16, the rest of my life will be boring" smile.

I am sorry to see yours did not go as well initially. Hopefully things will continue to improve.


Ricki

Side note: Do you know if you are a child of a Mom who took DES (Diethylstilbestrol)?

Hi Ricki, thank you for your story. My kids are coming around now but I am going through a divorce, which is probably best for everyone at the end of the day.

Hugs Zoey xoxo
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Ricki Wright

I am sad to hear this has cost so much. I am thinking Happy Thoughts to you.

R-
At 5 I forgot who I am. Fortunately, who I am protected me all these years until I remembered. Whatever else happens, I will live the rest of my life whole.
My story: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,244130.0.html
HRT 07Nov18
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Zoey421

Today I am meeting my 15y daughter and spending the afternoon with her. This is our first visit since I moved out of the house and will be the first time she sees me en-femme. She told I could dress how I wanted with her so I nervously waiting for her reaction. ???

She is also not aware that I am introducing myself as Zoey to new people whom I meet. I need to remind people to call me "dad" today. Update later ... Hugs Zoey
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Zoey421

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tgirlamg

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment" ... Ralph Waldo Emerson 🌸

"The individual has always had to struggle from being overwhelmed by the tribe... But, no price is too high for the privilege of owning yourself" ... Rudyard Kipling 🌸

Let go of the things that no longer serve you... Let go of the pretense of the false persona, it is not you... Let go of the armor that you have worn for a lifetime, to serve the expectations of others and, to protect the woman inside... She needs protection no longer.... She is tired of hiding and more courageous than you know... Let her prove that to you....Let her step out of the dark and feel the light upon her face.... amg🌸

Ashley's Corner: https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247549.0.html 🌻
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KimOct

Hi Zoey - Interesting you brought the 'Dad' thing up.  I know there are a lot of different opinions on this topic but I just wanted to throw my take on it out there.   I told my kids to call me Dad in private - at home - in the car - on the phone but if we are out in public and they need to use my name to get my attention to call me Kim.

I will always be their Dad regardless of my gender identification.  I am not their Mom or their Aunt or Mama Kim etc etc.

No criticism of those that use something such as the above.  Just my feeling on the subject and it has worked fine for me.

Hope things went well for you.
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself
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Zoey421

Thanks Kim for sharing your experience. I am asking more people to call me Zoey, just asked an old friend of 20y to call me zoey ... she agreed. My kids don't know I use Zoey but that will come in time, and probably sooner than later as as happened with most things the last two months!



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Zoey421

I went out on Saturday night by myself for the first time in many, many years. I attended a transgender event called Mashed Poetics, a combination of music and poetry telling stories of our journey. I met new friends, although they were much younger than me.

My friend, a transgender woman who invited me to the event, was the guitarist in the band and played their album "Gender Dysphoria Blues." I talked to her 16y son, a transgender male, who is a completely fascinating person; This was probably he best part of the evening.

I enjoyed going out, trying my hand at eye makeup, wearing a new outfit.

I am excited to venture into a new phase of my life.

Zoey xoxo

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Zoey421

I never liked me smile, somewhat lopsided I believe. However, I do like the makeup and eyes ...got my brows waxed and tinted on Saturday.

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Linde

Quote from: Zoey421 on February 03, 2019, 05:05:29 PM
I never liked me smile, somewhat lopsided I believe. However, I do like the makeup and eyes ...got my brows waxed and tinted on Saturday.

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Can somebody please explain to me what is wrong with your smile?  I like the eyebrows, too!
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Zoey421

Quote from: Dietlind on February 03, 2019, 05:25:12 PM
Can somebody please explain to me what is wrong with your smile?  I like the eyebrows, too!
Thank you, Dietlind.

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Linde

Quote from: Zoey421 on February 03, 2019, 05:33:00 PM
Thank you, Dietlind.

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What did they do to your eyebrows?  I do not have much that can be called eyebrows, and wonder what I can do except using a pencil on them all the time.
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Zoey421

Quote from: Dietlind on February 03, 2019, 07:46:02 PM
What did they do to your eyebrows?  I do not have much that can be called eyebrows, and wonder what I can do except using a pencil on them all the time.
I went to the Brow Bar at Sephora and they  tinted the ends of my brows. The make uo artist referred to my light brow ends and my hair "highlights" as "arctic blonde". Love it.

Back to the brows... the shape was created by waxing and removing excess hair.



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Linde

Quote from: Zoey421 on February 03, 2019, 07:58:00 PM


Back to the brows... the shape was created by waxing and removing excess hair.

Sent from my SM-G950W using Tapatalk
Thanks!  I would not need any waxing, because my brows seem to be nice and don't grow more than they should grow.

I think that I am the lucky person on the block when it comes to any hair growth on my body.
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KimOct

Sephora rocks and so does Ulta - they were so nice to me when I first went full time - made a friend there.  In my experience the beauty supply places and salons are very accepting.  Stopped getting my brows done eventually once I got better at it but I highly recommend it early on.

The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself
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Linde

Quote from: KimOct on February 03, 2019, 10:55:01 PM
Sephora rocks and so does Ulta - they were so nice to me when I first went full time - made a friend there.  In my experience the beauty supply places and salons are very accepting.  Stopped getting my brows done eventually once I got better at it but I highly recommend it early on.
It looks like I have to find me a Sephora one of these days.  How is the quality of their products?  I always have to be careful because of my baby skin.
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KimOct

Sephora is very good quality I think I prefer Ulta the quality is almost as good and a bit cheaper.

IMO the price and quality tiers are Sephora the most expensive and the best - Ulta middle - Sally low end.  Now that I have been using the stuff for awhile I have settled on which products are just fine on the cheap and which ones I want to spend extra for better quality.  For me my foundation is worth the extra money.

Takes some trial and error.  My Mom told me the same thing when I first came out.  She said for awhile I will have tons of stuff that I will buy and not keep using - she was right.  :D

But I digress - in my experience most beauty places are very cool - I guess in some smaller towns in some areas maybe not as much so in that case I would stick with higher end places - just my opinion.
The first transphobe you have to conquer is yourself
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Linde

Quote from: KimOct on February 04, 2019, 02:36:01 AM
Sephora is very good quality I think I prefer Ulta the quality is almost as good and a bit cheaper.

IMO the price and quality tiers are I am told that I am pretty attractive looking.  I never had a male body, but was always more female with my bodily features.  I never had any body hair, or other typical male charactristics the most expensive and the best - Ulta middle - Sally low end.  Now that I have been using the stuff for awhile I have settled on which products are just fine on the cheap and which ones I want to spend extra for better quality.  For me my foundation is worth the extra money.

Takes some trial and error.  My Mom told me the same thing when I first came out.  She said for awhile I will have tons of stuff that I will buy and not keep using - she was right.  :D

But I digress - in my experience most beauty places are very cool - I guess in some smaller towns in some areas maybe not as much so in that case I would stick with higher end places - just my opinion.
I am lucky that I don't need any concealer, because I have that baby skin.  There are two Sephora places about 10 miles away from me in Fort Myers.  Both are located inside a JCPenny store.
I have to see if I can hit one of them pretty soon, and see if they do a better job than my friend did with my face?
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