Quote from: saraswatidevi on April 10, 2008, 09:32:28 PM
Hi Has-a-Clue Parent,
Best wishes to both of you. I read so many heart breaking stories on this site based on the reactions of parents and it was such a breath of fresh air to read all your posts. Especially, the part where you said "it took about 90 minutes for my wife and I to come to terms with this. Our daughter was sad and depressed all her life and our son is happy and outgoing."
You need a new name. Your son has a terrific father. He has a clue.
Why thank you ~ You're a nice lady..............
Lemme tell you a little story, I'll try to be brief: When my son was still a little girl (cute start, huh?) Anyway, when he was very, very young he would wake up everyday and flash this adorable, all encompassing smile that would just light up his whole body (it seemed) and he would say "what's the weather today?" Every darn day this would happen and it was so fricken' cute to see - and heartwarming - and it would brighten our day. Years went by and my 'tom-boy' was happy-go-lucky and content. Kid was a damn good athlete too, great hand-eye, fast, skillful. Then one day boobs started growing,,,,,,,,,,and growing,,,,,,and all of a sudden there was no way this kid was gonna run and bounce. Happy-go-lucky became moody & depressed. Years went by, more & more akward about himself with every passing year. Social standing really lousy at most times; troubled; horrible periods.
Fast forward to 24 yrs old now. Reluctant to see family; crabby towards seemingly everyone; borderline dysfunctional. An unhappy person. And then, his sister drops the bomb to us 'rents: Amy is going to take hormones so that she can become Andy. Holy Schitt
We turned the tv off on that one and just looked at each other for awhile. I cried a bit, mostly at the thought of MY CHILD being so damn unhappy. Then we started talking about it; thinking it out; remembering many instances that should have made sense but didn't at the time. Started to make some sense after a bit; and then after a bit longer it actually seemed like a good move. A week or so later we cruised down to see the little fella. Guess what? He was the same kid that she was (witty; snotty; bright; lazy as all hell) But there was something different and enjoyable to see: the kid had some confidence about him, a comfort level even. Not an ungainly, unhappy demeanor. He seemed like he really was meant to be a guy.
And it was very heartwarming for us to see, it reminded us of that little kid that once awoke w/ a smile.
I want my snotty kid to be happy. That will make me happy, his mom happy. That is what it's all about.
So, we drove home and halfway there we had figured out how to pay for his top surgery for him. Get that young man started on the right road. And I cannot tell you the satisfaction that we feel tonite.
-End of Story-
(longer than intended)
The moral is: I am nothing special but I do love my kid. I do want to see him happy. I had the benefit of hindsight of the last 10-12 yrs to see a miserable young woman. That made the acceptance very, very easy.
Thanks to all well-wishers and any who may reply later - Your good words are appreciated & passed along to MY SON.
Mickey - Oxymoron sounds way too fancy for me; I'm just a plain moron.
Devlin - Your pooch misses you also, but mine just puked on the rug an hr ago and I am still gagging on the residual smell
Dennis and Nero - you guys both helped me behind the scenes w/some nitty gritty, down & dirty PERSONAL information. Amazing of you both. Thank you; again...........
As for 'cluelessparent',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I think that I deserve it, to be quite honest. It's my stamp of disapproval of myself. Oh sure, I'm in the game now. But several yrs went by where my kid could have been happier had I been more engaged, or more approachable, or just friggan' better as a parent. It's the biggest gig I have ever had as a person. I didn't fail, but I didn't excel either. I don't blame myself for his predicament, his detour to happiness, but I wish that I had been more,,,,,,,,,,,something. Anything.
It's getting late.
Nitey nite folks.............
