Today was my last day at work for a while. I looked around and smiled as I walked out the door. My manager approved my request to work from home until my leave of absence begins on 18 Feb, hopefully this will keep me safe from catching a cold or the flu. Yesterday was my final 'south pole' clearing, and tonight will be my last estradiol patch for a few weeks. I guess now is as good a time as any to start this thread.

My original GCS date was 5 April. I submitted the last of my paperwork to the Meltzer Clinic on 28 Feb, and the next day I received an email. There was a cancellation, would I like to reschedule for 21 February? OMG!!! It seems as though I have been working non-stop since then to make it happen, and now everything is set. Susan and I plan two days for the 12 hour drive to Scottsdale in case we encounter issues. We already have hotel reservations, and we have made arrangements for our furry children. Other than buying a few supplies (like maxi pads for me!) and packing our suitcases, we are ready.

Now I can finally take some time to think about my future. The surgery itself is somewhat frightening, but I have faith in Dr. Ley and her team. I know recovery could be difficult and will take some time, but I also know it is the right path for me. Just a year after turning my world upside down (which made it right side up from my perspective), I am taking another huge leap. Coming out was very public, that was unavoidable. But this is different, this is personal. Although the BA will be noticed (isn't that the point?), this time the biggest change is one very few people will ever see. Even though the world now sees me as a woman, I carry a reminder that tells me something different -- and that must be corrected.

I warned Susan to expect another shift in my personality. My soul has been hiding in darkness for five decades, only in the last year has she seen some daylight and tasted a little freedom. Soon she will finally be set free. I don't know how I will react, but I do know one thing -- I will finally be me.

Tell Susan not to worry to much about a personality change. You're pretty rung out after the surgery so she should be able to handle you. It's amazing how demanding the surgery is on your body. I had to spend 6 days in bed after surgery and now it's only 2, but people are still pretty weak when they get back on their feet.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 06, 2019, 08:36:24 PM
Today was my last day at work for a while. I looked around and smiled as I walked out the door. My manager approved my request to work from home until my leave of absence begins on 18 Feb, hopefully this will keep me safe from catching a cold or the flu. Yesterday was my final 'south pole' clearing, and tonight will be my last estradiol patch for a few weeks. I guess now is as good a time as any to start this thread.

My original GCS date was 5 April. I submitted the last of my paperwork to the Meltzer Clinic on 28 Feb, and the next day I received an email. There was a cancellation, would I like to reschedule for 21 February? OMG!!! It seems as though I have been working non-stop since then to make it happen, and now everything is set. Susan and I plan two days for the 12 hour drive to Scottsdale in case we encounter issues. We already have hotel reservations, and we have made arrangements for our furry children. Other than buying a few supplies (like maxi pads for me!) and packing our suitcases, we are ready.

Now I can finally take some time to think about my future. The surgery itself is somewhat frightening, but I have faith in Dr. Ley and her team. I know recovery could be difficult and will take some time, but I also know it is the right path for me. Just a year after turning my world upside down (which made it right side up from my perspective), I am taking another huge leap. Coming out was very public, that was unavoidable. But this is different, this is personal. Although the BA will be noticed (isn't that the point?), this time the biggest change is one very few people will ever see. Even though the world now sees me as a woman, I carry a reminder that tells me something different -- and that must be corrected.

I warned Susan to expect another shift in my personality. My soul has been hiding in darkness for five decades, only in the last year has she seen some daylight and tasted a little freedom. Soon she will finally be set free. I don't know how I will react, but I do know one thing -- I will finally be me.

Congratulations Jessica. I wish you a speedy recovery...

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

That is super exciting Jessica!

Stay healthy and enjoy the countdown! This is an amazing step for you. I'm glad you have a wonderful wife to be there and support you!

Good luck girlfriend and stay strong. This is indeed a big step but don't let the magnitude fear you, treasure each small part of it for this is becoming you. And hey, you will be sleeping through it all anyway.

Say hi to Dr. Ley for me,
Tia Anne

A few of my supplies arrived today: bacitracin, aloe vera gel, and a dozen tubes of surgilube. I also ordered a seat cushion to reduce pressure along the 'grand canyon' -- 'south pole' will no longer be appropriate.

I lived over 50 years of my life in plain sight, yet I hid from everyone. Now I am preparing to take that last step, one which will free my soul while at the same time remove one of the last physical reminders of who I used to be. I feel as though I am planning for a death, and a rebirth. Maybe it won't be nearly as profound as I think. We base our expectations on our experiences, but this is like nothing I have ever done before. I'm not worried, I'm not scared, but I don't know what will happen. I just have faith that I will wake up on the other side, and the world will once again be a beautiful place.

In nine days we hit the road for Scottsdale.

You can return the cushion, Meltzer Clinic provides one in the goodie bag, which I personally found to be more trouble than it's worth.

I suggest getting at least four large boxes of pads. You do not need thick or heavy flow after the first week, but there will be a lot of drainage and spotting for a while. I like the always flex which are thin. Leave them home, the hospital will supply them while you are there.

Be prepared that some minor complications are normal after you get home, like perineal dehiscence which is a stitch tear. Takes a while to heal and is scary but not a huge deal.

The hospital will give you a few tubes of bacitracin so don't go overboard until you know what you need. Same with the lube. I bought a case off amazon and quickly went from a tube a week to a tube a month.

You don't need to bring a lot. A few changes of clothes, pajamas and warm socks and a sweater or fleece. Don't go overboard, you probably won't be spending much or any time out of the hospital. I also brought tea bags and some snacks.

Here's the goodie bag

Hi @Jessica_Rose

Wow its nearly that time. Great news on getting the bump up in date.

I personally found it a profound experience and it impacted me far more deeply that I expects and I would hope that you experience the kind of inner peace I have found. I think its so difficult to imagine because its not something we have ever experienced.

Congrats

Liz

I have one or two tings to add. IF you have a sensitivity to Paraben's make sure to get a Paraben free lube, I found out the hard way. I made sure to get out of the hospital at least once a day just to get ready for the trip home. If you do have any tearing, my gynecologist recommended baths with Instant Ocean (I still do them a few times a week). For BA just follow instructions and all should be great! I am at 2 months and was able to get rid of the top band, for a bra it's an underwire, be sure to get some nipple shields the band is a bit scratchy. For the BA I gave Dr. Ley to fit what ever she felt was best, 800's are what she picked. I am 5'11 and had a 40" band at time of BA now down to a 38" and have lost a bit more weight and had some additional growth... I some times miss the removable ones, but LOVE having breasts that don't shift or slide. First and foremost take care of yourself! You have this in the bad my dear 

Thanks for the tips on what to take and what to leave home! I do tend to over-pack. I have plenty of button-up tops and some fleece tops with zippers. I also plan to take some long skirts, and maybe a dress or two with zippers. Susan and my daughters gave me some flannel unicorn pajamas for Christmas, so those are coming as well. Hopefully it will be warm enough outside in the afternoons to wear sandals, anything with much of a heel will be staying home.

Ten days, only ten days until I awake from my life-long nightmare. I am still anxious. I keep thinking that at any moment something unexpected will pop up and cause a delay, or take it away from me. Other than that, all is well. Susan even read through the pre-op instructions. I know part of her is saddened by the impending surgery, but she also understands that it is the only way for me to be happy.

I have electrolysis sessions today and tomorrow, but the 'south pole' work is done. Wednesday I have a hair appointment, then a laser session for my legs and stomach Thursday.

Our daughters are aware of the surgery, we even plan to visit our daughter in Socorro NM on the way down. I may never tell any of my other relatives. A few close friends and co-workers know. I expect at least a few people will notice the breast augmentation, but what is between my legs is really no one else's business.

Good luck! I understand the sadness but it is wonderful that you have support through this.

I received two calls today which helped confirm that everything is on track. The first was from the Meltzer Clinic, they went over the pre-op information again and checked to see if I was following their guidelines -- no ibuprofen, no estradiol, no supplements other than vitamin B, and no more 'south pole' electrolysis (I'm not upset about that last item). The second call was from the Greenbaum Surgical Center, we completed the patient pre-registration and I paid my co-pay. Another day over, and another step closer...

Even without estradiol, my emotions are making themselves known. I think the most prevalent one right now is relief, knowing that ever so surely the day I have waited for all my life will soon arrive.

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 11, 2019, 09:41:51 PM
I received two calls today which helped confirm that everything is on track. The first was from the Meltzer Clinic, they went over the pre-op information again and checked to see if I was following their guidelines -- no ibuprofen, no estradiol, no supplements other than vitamin B, and no more 'south pole' electrolysis (I'm not upset about that last item). The second call was from the Greenbaum Surgical Center, we completed the patient pre-registration and I paid my co-pay. Another day over, and another step closer...

Even without estradiol, my emotions are making themselves known. I think the most prevalent one right now is relief, knowing that ever so surely the day I have waited for all my life will soon arrive.

@Jessica_Rose
Dear Jessica:
This is such good news.  I am so very happy for you that super big steps like this in your transition journey are on track.
I am glad to see that you are keeping all of us followers updated frequently.

We are all rooting for you, we are your biggest fans.
Hugs and as always, well wishes,
Danielle

I just received a note from HR. My FMLA / LOA (Leave of Absence) has been officially approved. The LOA begins on 20 Feb and ends on 5 April, my first day back at work will be 8 April. This basically means that I will only need to take five days of vacation time while I am out (plus two days for travel), and due to my tenure I will receive full pay under the guise of 'short term disability' (I don't like the abbreviation for that one)!

It still seems surreal. My life is proceeding as though everything is normal, but in just nine days it will change forever.

Jessica, this anxiousness and waiting is all part of the process as will be the day before surgery, going in, changing into the gown, getting the needle put in and taking a nap...not to mention a bit of healing. It is all part of it so enjoy it. Treasure it as it is part of paying for the ticket of becoming more you.

Love you girl!,
Tia Anne

It is very exciting to see your preparations come down to the wire.  Here's wishing you an uncomplicated surgery, and a smooth and speedy recovery.

Yay Congrats!

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 12, 2019, 01:44:16 PM
I just received a note from HR. My FMLA / LOA (Leave of Absence) has been officially approved. The LOA begins on 20 Feb and ends on 5 April, my first day back at work will be 8 April. This basically means that I will only need to take five days of vacation time while I am out (plus two days for travel), and due to my tenure I will receive full pay under the guise of 'short term disability' (I don't like the abbreviation for that one)!

It still seems surreal. My life is proceeding as though everything is normal, but in just nine days it will change forever.

My original plan was to leave on Monday and visit our daughter in Socorro before heading over to Scottsdale on Tuesday. However, there is a winter storm forecast to hit late Sunday, which could make travel on Monday treacherous. Now we plan to leave Sunday morning, spend the night in Socorro, then head to Scottsdale on Monday. Although we will arrive a day earlier than planned, it should be a safer trip. I am going a bit overboard with precautions right now, but I don't think I could handle any delays in my surgery. I have been working towards this day far too long to let it slip away.

This is so exciting to read!

I am sure that the feelings of this not going smoothly is normal. Can you really wake from your Nightmare? Is the night over? Very soon it will be!

Thank you for keeping us updated regularly with your thoughts and feelings. I am so happy for you! Having a supportive wife has to feel so amazing. She is a blessing to you!

You are making the right decision to take extra precautions with travel. My parents live in Phoenix and they said it has been in the 30s and 40s. A heat wave for most places this time of year, but cold for Arizona! Stay safe and warm on your trip.

We look forward to sharing in this part of your journey as you are able to post!

Lacy

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on February 12, 2019, 01:44:16 PM
I just received a note from HR. My FMLA / LOA (Leave of Absence) has been officially approved. The LOA begins on 20 Feb and ends on 5 April, my first day back at work will be 8 April. This basically means that I will only need to take five days of vacation time while I am out (plus two days for travel), and due to my tenure I will receive full pay under the guise of 'short term disability' (I don't like the abbreviation for that one)!

It still seems surreal. My life is proceeding as though everything is normal, but in just nine days it will change forever.

Oh don't you love dealing with STD insurance and fmla? Getting through that must be a bit of weight off your shoulders!

Sounds like good news all around! I am intrigued by minor differences in our experience, which is only about 6 weeks apart (like the greenbaum call).

If your job can be done remotely, have you filed for an ADA accommodation for modified work schedule after you go back? If not you might want to consider doing this. My HR actually planted the seed and I'm so glad they did as while I was mentally ready to return to work, my body was still playing a bit of catch up, so being able to ease back in and work remotely when I felt the need was really helpful, especially now when I'm still recovering from the perineal tear. I went back after 3 weeks, so a little earlier but not much. I make my own decision on where to be and when for work, but this helps prevent your employer giving you a hard time if you need to be remote for a few weeks or a significant portion of the time.

I remember the countdown when I was a week out - I was so excited and anxious. One thing to consider is you will probably not want to get off your couch for a week or two after you return home. Not because of pain but just fatigue as you are recovering. You might want to grab a few things to do while you are sedentary - books, legos or whatever. I built a lego Voltron out of boredom that first week back lol.

Oh also helpful might be to stock up a little bit on antibacterial soap. You will be cleaning your dialators a lot and I went through like 3 bottles of dial antibacterial hand soap in four weeks, which seems like a lot until you consider that you will be dialating four times a day.