We had some guests over and my mother was cooking. I went into the kitchen to grab a snack, and all of a sudden she snapped. She has a mood disorder and began ranting about me to the guests and humiliating me in front of them, ultimately outing me as trans.

My sister-in-law, who likes to lick my mother's rear, commented "Fleur has more mental issues than all of her brothers combined." (She used my male name and pronouns, but oh well). Then my brothers came in and asked if I was really transitioning again. I'm standing there, suddenly a spectacle, too humiliated and mortified to move. Then, my mother begins wailing and sobbing and yells at me to stop touching her makeup.

I ended up going into the bathroom and blocking my ears out as I heard her sobbing and making a scene in front of the guests. She is an expert manipulator and they were all crooning over her, as I'm sitting on the bathroom floor humming and sticking my fingers in my ears so I can pretend she isn't saying anything.

I took my fingers out for a second, big mistake, and felt my soul crack when I heard my brother said, "I just wish I had a normal brother. I just wish I could have a relationship with him, but I can't. He's a f**king freak, man."

My mother is my source of financing for my HRT and possible FFS. I don't know if her abuse and humiliating of me is worth it, though.

I have colleges to apply to as well as scholarships to finish filling out. I'm busy doing my taxes. I have endless assignments due tomorrow. I have so much to worry about and now this has happened and I feel worthless and embarrassed and pained.

My mother is always telling me to "function", which I do perfectly fine when she doesn't have her claws in my back.

I just want to disappear.

- Fleur

Mothers with mood disorders are a special kind of torture.

Well first of all I would like to say don't feel embarrassed or worthless or ashamed honestly parents are rather difficult to deal with my father before he died Monday would call me ->-bleeped-<- homo queer gay bite it's just because parents don't know how to cope with this all the time and the only way they know to express themselves is through anger slurs and other ways to degrade you and with her having a mood disorder I imagine it's way worse I can't offer a solution to how to deal with your mother honestly but I do want to say you're not worthless you're not embarrassing. None of those things that she thinks you are as far as her manipulating everyone I would talk to them about it and tell them about you about the real you is that so they can judge you with their own minds instead of being manipulated into disliking you by your mother and siblings

Sent from my LG-LS777 using Tapatalk

@fleurgirl
Dear Fleurgirl:
I am not certain that I could have handled this any better than you did.... embarrassment, person insults, being humiliated in front of you mother's guests, and especially the demeaning comment from your own brother.

The only issue that complicates all of this for you is obviously your mother's planned financial contributions for your HRT and possible FFS.

As you indicated you have many other concerns like scholarships, endless assignments due tomorrow and those ever present taxes to be done.  The good news about your taxes, they are not due for 2 months so you have some time to take care of you other tasks....

Thank you for posting and sharing your frustrations... it really does help you to write about these things and it helps you to postulate positive solutions.   Please know for sure, that we are your biggest fans and are always rooting for your success.

Hugs, and well wishes,
Danielle

Quote from: fleurgirl on February 10, 2019, 05:11:05 PM
We had some guests over and my mother was cooking. I went into the kitchen to grab a snack, and all of a sudden she snapped. She has a mood disorder and began ranting about me to the guests and humiliating me in front of them, ultimately outing me as trans.

My sister-in-law, who likes to lick my mother's rear, commented "Fleur has more mental issues than all of her brothers combined." (She used my male name and pronouns, but oh well). Then my brothers came in and asked if I was really transitioning again. I'm standing there, suddenly a spectacle, too humiliated and mortified to move. Then, my mother begins wailing and sobbing and yells at me to stop touching her makeup.

I ended up going into the bathroom and blocking my ears out as I heard her sobbing and making a scene in front of the guests. She is an expert manipulator and they were all crooning over her, as I'm sitting on the bathroom floor humming and sticking my fingers in my ears so I can pretend she isn't saying anything.

I took my fingers out for a second, big mistake, and felt my soul crack when I heard my brother said, "I just wish I had a normal brother. I just wish I could have a relationship with him, but I can't. He's a f**king freak, man."

My mother is my source of financing for my HRT and possible FFS. I don't know if her abuse and humiliating of me is worth it, though.

I have colleges to apply to as well as scholarships to finish filling out. I'm busy doing my taxes. I have endless assignments due tomorrow. I have so much to worry about and now this has happened and I feel worthless and embarrassed and pained.

My mother is always telling me to "function", which I do perfectly fine when she doesn't have her claws in my back.

I just want to disappear.

- Fleur

It hurts when mothers intentionally hurt us as you describe. I had to put up with it myself until I was old enough to get a job and move out.

Quote from: AoifeB on February 10, 2019, 05:33:00 PM
Mothers with mood disorders are a special kind of torture.

You called that right!

That's emotional abuse. It's their pathology and not your fault in any way. But seeing how they're toxic, block them from all your social media. All of it. Then avoid them as much as possible irl until you get to move out. Try a support group if you have them.

A tremendous part of the problemis thisw is all so NEW TO MOST PEOPLE,Backin the 50's I grew up in no one ever heard of trans. nor in the 60's or 70's it wasn't until aboiut 30 years ago that the general public in America heard of trans,Sexchange was heard of back in the 50's but most people didn't know why!I had urges to waer girl clothes and long hair from at least 6,but I had no idea that I was a girl inside.Very confusing,naturally didn't dare speak about it.Trans may have been known in the orient but NOT in western society.Just try to find some references in popular literature, more than about 30 years ago. Very few! Look at crista Lynn's videos on youtube,60 great videos about life and transition.She was born in 1979 and didn't learn about trans until after 2000.Learned on computer googling sex change!