Hello all!

As a warning, this is a rather morbid and depressing topic, but my asking for advice on this topic is the only reason I joined the forums. Hopefully this is the correct forum for this sort of topic.

A little backstory; I'm 32 year old mtf. I've been aware of what I am since puberty, but haven't done anything about it for two reasons;

#1, I'm predisposed to Alzheimer's. My mother died in my childhood from early-onset Alzheimer's (an accelerated form that kicks in around late 30's/early 40's and degradation takes 6ish years). My father had normal Alzheimer's but passed away from sepsis (bad assisted living). There are still no confirmatory tests for Alzheimer's until symptoms are already present.

#2, my sister (whom passed away almost 2 years ago now), had put a rather large amount of pressure on me to reproduce. She wasn't aware of my gender identity issues, and she was barren. My sister was the only other living member of my family. I'm the last of my bloodline.


Now personally, I had never planned on reproducing. My family had a bunch of genetic issues and I feel that spreading these issues would be unfair for the human race. Specifically Alzheimer's. I'm not opposed to children, and have interest in adoption. That is, assuming I don't have Alzheimer's because I refuse to allow anyone to deal with what I experienced. This is itself a different topic and one that my partner hates to talk about.

What did hold me back regarding my sister was a sort of family obligation to continue being her "brother" and try to support her. We were really all the other had to rely on. I knew she took after my father when it came to opinions on transgender people, and I knew she would never have accepted me if I told her I was trans.



But now she is gone so the only thing holding me back from transitioning is the fear of developing Alzheimer's, which is why I'm here.


For those who have not handled an Alzheimer's patient before, there are two important facts that you will want to understand before delving deeper into this conversation;
#1 - Alzheimer's patients loose their most recent memories/connections first. For example my mother kept mistaking me for her father, since apparently I as a teenager looked like her dad.
#2 - Alzheimer's patients (like all dementia case patients) are vulnerable to sudden and repeated environmental changes. A common example is that someones grandparent are showing signs of memory issue, so to "help" them their family may move them to assisted living. The sudden change in environment causes a massive drop in cognitive ability. In terms of Alzheimer's, changing the "normal settings" when a patient exhibiting some memory issues can cause an almost cascade of issues and years of cognitive loss within days.


How this translates to me, if I were to transition;

I'm already 32 years old. If I transition now, and end up having Alzheimer's, I may not remember some parts of this. What if I go as far as I want (including facial fem surgery), and I wake up one morning and don't recognize the person in the mirror?

If I end up with the variant that my mother has, then I could spend the next few years transitioning only to have a few years of happiness before catastrophe.



I do have a psychiatrist that I've talked with about all of this. The problem we found is that this is a rather unique situation. She is a wonderful person but even with her researching and asking peers for suggestions, there isn't enough information to work with.

At the time of this post I've been considering a partial transition, where I start hrt and maybe work on my body neck-down. This way at least I won't panic every time I look in a mirror if my memory starts slipping.

And yes I constantly keep up with Alzheimer's research. The current medications are fantastic at prolonging the memory loss, but there still isn't a confirmatory test until symptoms are present, which means that there has already been damage.


If anyone here has any ideas, feedback, or opinions, all are welcome. If there is anyone with any fragment of experience dealing with a transgender individual that is also dealing with Alzheimer's fears, please bring them to this topic.

~ Mac

Welcome to Susan's Place. I am not an expert on this subject and haven't had to deal with it but if you google Alzheimer's genetic test you will discover that there is a test to see if you carry the gene. If somehow you don't have the gene, problem is solved. If you do have the gene, it might help you prepare for the future. I want to think on this further so I might make a post latter if I have another idea.

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Macabre,
   My mother in law had Azheimer's and lived with us. It is a terrible disease for sure. I guess, I would say that none of us is assured anything permanent.  It would be horrible if you did get Alzheimer's, but it would be even worse if you lived a life of pain waiting to get Alzheimer's. Grab for living as your true self for whatever time you have. I transitioned in my late 50's. I cherish every day living authentically. I can't say how long I have, but making the most of the time I have is amazing. Kick fear in the teeth and live your life.
Moni

You may be interested to learn that there are some early indications that long term Estradiol use, starting at the age of menopause in ciswomen and continuing for over 10 years may reduce Alzheimer's risk.

The attached article includes a number of study references at the end.

https://www.alzdiscovery.org/cognitive-vitality/blog/new-debate-on-hormone-replacement-therapy-and-dementia-risk

Mac,

I am by far no expert on Alzheimer's, although my grandmother did have it.

I also don't have any advice either, but I would like for you to ask yourself this question: If you developed Alzheimer's and looked in the mirror without recognizing yourself, what would you think you would expect to see: a woman or a man? Or what do you think would confuse you more, seeing a male face or a female face?

Maybe the answer to this question might provide you with some guidance.

I hope this helped.

HM

I thought about this for a while and considered what I would do faced with this decision. The answer is courtesy of Kamaugh maps and Pascal's wager.

You have 4 possible outcomes as followed.

1. No Alzheimer's  No transition
You will be unhappy for the remainder of a very long life.

2. No Alzheimer's Yes transition
You will be very happy and at peace with yourself for the remainder of a very long life.

3. Yes Alzheimer's No transition
You will live the remainder of your life with the confusion that Alzheimer's brings, possibly not understanding why your body doesn't match what you feel. I make this statement because you have had dysphoria for a long time and it probably isn't going to be affected by Alzheimer's or if it is, it will be one of the last things to go. What will go first will be the knowledge that you have gained in your recent research.

4. Yes Alzheimer's Yes transition
Consider how you would feel if you woke up tomorrow morning and you had a feminine body. Would you be at peace with yourself or would you be confused? This is probably how you would feel for the remainder of your life, maybe not understanding exactly what happened but knowing whatever happened, your body was right.

There is a flaw in this reasoning and that is if Alzheimer's should set in before you complete your transition. In that case, you wouldn't have the ability to see the rest of the transition to completion and you might not be able to deal with the short term pain of some of the procedures. Because of this, you probably should consider a minimal transition, possibly facial hair removal, HRT and bottom surgery. Additional surgery like FFS should only be considered if genetic testing indicates you don't have Alzheimer's.

As always, this is a decision that only you can make. Your values are different than my values. I had serious dysphoria and from my point of view, there was only one way I could continue to life. Your dysphoria might be something you're willing to live with.

I would be interested to hear your decision and I hope you continue to use the site as a resource. The site might speed your transition giving you more years to enjoy the life you have left.

My father had vascular dementia and I am using medication that has dementia as a possible side effect. 

If, God forbid,  you develop dementia, things are not going to go well whether you present as male or as female.  That will be the least of your problems.  If could even transpire that you do not recognise the person in the mirror  regardless of the gender you are presenting, and even regardless of whether you have had FFS.  Either way, by then you should be receiving care and it should be somone else's problem, not yours.

Transition is obviously not without risks but the dementia issue should not rank highly among them, as far as I can see.

There are lifetstyles that are said to reduce the risk of developing dementia.  Live as though you are sure that you will never suffer from it.

Quote from: Macabre on March 04, 2019, 08:45:08 PM
...
#2, my sister (whom passed away almost 2 years ago now), had put a rather large amount of pressure on me to reproduce. She wasn't aware of my gender identity issues, and she was barren. My sister was the only other living member of my family. I'm the last of my bloodline.
...

BTW I don't think that you have a duty to reproduce and pass on your family's genes.  There are other things that you could do to leave a lasting legacy and as a memorial to yourself and your loved ones.

My grand grandmother had Alzheimer's. She became 97 years old. You can laugh at all the crazy ->-bleeped-<- she's done and said, but it is not a nice illness to them being close.

I have lots of illnesses in my family. I decided to transition because I want to die happy and not confused or regretting I never gave myself the chance to be ME. We have Alzheimer's, different cancers, diabetes, Rheumathoid Arthritis, Parkinson's, heart attacks, strokes among others.

I think you need to think not only how you want to live, but how do you want to be remembered? When people talk about you when you are gone. Does it bother you that they will say the wrong gender?

Do what makes you happy. I think it is Better to be happy to 50 years old than living in fear and regretting you never gave youself a chance to 90 years old.

It's not a piece of cake to go through transition. There will be tough times. But there will also be good times. in the end it's your feeling of inner peace that is important.

That's my point of view. But I am not you. You need to decide what is important to you. Noone else can.


Tony

My mother died almost two years ago. She had dementia and it had become severe by the time she passed, it was horrible. The nature of her dementia was never fully diagnosed and we do not know if it was Alzheimer's or some other form of the mind crippling disease. I have often thought about what it would be like to at one point not know who was looking back at me in the mirror, very confusing at best. But I chose to transition. My current cognizant life is far better than I was before I met Tia. The idea of living out my remaining aware years not knowing my true self in fear of being confused if dementia takes over was an unacceptable argument for me.

I hope that neither you nor I ever get to the point of this question,
Tia Anne

I might also argue for transition for another reason. I mentioned my mother in law having Alzheimer's. As a result my partner spends a lot of time stressing about getting it herself. You know this fear I'm sure. Now, transitioning is really an amazing journey. Most folks who do it get pretty consumed by the process. I would argue that talking on such a task when be an opportunity to build yourself in a positive way. Rather than waiting for a possible sad end, you could be involved in a wonderful life experience. Less time to stress over possible negatives, more time to focus on something positive. I think keeping the mind active is the best weapon against any possible mental deterioration. Transition for me was like a shot in the arm for my life. Without it, I would be focused on my sad demise instead of looking forward to each day. (I am not trying to assume it is the right path for you.)

I've read recently that they're a lot closer to testing and treatments, but everything that's hopeful seems to take longer than it should. It's the nature of research. You could bank your sperm and wait a bit until tests come out. I'd bet it'll be in the next 5 years and by then there should be better treatments.


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Quote from: MaryT on March 05, 2019, 07:41:53 AM
...
There are lifetstyles that are said to reduce the risk of developing dementia.  Live as though you are sure that you will never suffer from it.

But look into the financial implications of needing long term care for any reason.  Depending on where you live, nearly all of your money and property could be taken by the authorities to pay for care that you did not ask for and may not want.  Even in such places, there may be legal ways to avoid that situation, if you are well acquainted with the process and the relevant laws.