Hi everyone,

I am new to this.  My transdaughter has a prom coming up.  She is 16 years old, 5'10", slender androgynous build, and has not started any HRT.  We meet with a doctor next week.  She is interested in wearing a dress, long, but is not too sure about the top.  I was hoping for some shopping tips and general ideas about what to look for and any other commentary.  Thanks!  I guess we'll need to get some shoes, too.  DD just came out a few weeks ago, so feminine dressing is a new world.  Wild

I don't have a clue as I never attended a prom. I didn't have anyone to take and in those days you went as couples. I would suggest that you stay away from something which is mostly straps. Something conservative would either allow for a small bra with padding or possibly you could take it in to conform to her shape better. You probably want to try out several styles because most people can't wear everything they see. Some styles just look better on a person than other styles.

Quote from: wildwood on March 20, 2019, 08:43:45 PM
Hi everyone,

I am new to this.  My transdaughter has a prom coming up.  She is 16 years old, 5'10", slender androgynous build, and has not started any HRT.  We meet with a doctor next week.  She is interested in wearing a dress, long, but is not too sure about the top.  I was hoping for some shopping tips and general ideas about what to look for and any other commentary.  Thanks!  I guess we'll need to get some shoes, too.  DD just came out a few weeks ago, so feminine dressing is a new world.  Wild

Hi Wildwood!

I am sure that DD doesn't want too much fashion advice from an old lady but, having a thin build, gives her a blank canvas of sorts fashion wise!... She may want to go a bit puffy on the skirt to give her a look of more hips and up top, pre HRT, she may likely need a bit of coverage in the chest but, she could go with a fairly light top wiht a shrug top over it etc? ... The fun will be in the fashion hunt and I advise trying on EVERYTHING!!!... Many times what we think will look bad on us can look surprisingly good both in colors and styles!!!

I recently attended my first "Prom" an 80s themed one at a local winery! Crazy Fun!!!! It gave me a chance to wear a Betsey Johnson dress that I've had in my closet for a couple years!!!


Untitled by Ashleyl, on Flickr
Untitled by Ashley, on Flickr

Your daughter is going to have an amazing life... With a Mom like you in her corner... She is unstoppable!!!!

Onward we go!!!

Ashley 

Love the dress Ashley!  It looks like fun.  Shrug tops seem like they have a lot of potential.  As well as trying on a lot of things.  DD has spent the last 10 years in tie-dye and bulky sweaters so it will be interesting to see how that might change, as she explores more. 

I keep thinking about Billy Porter's tuxedo dress from the Oscars, which was amazing.

Quote from: wildwood on March 21, 2019, 10:25:51 AM
Love the dress Ashley!  It looks like fun.  Shrug tops seem like they have a lot of potential.  As well as trying on a lot of things.  DD has spent the last 10 years in tie-dye and bulky sweaters so it will be interesting to see how that might change, as she explores more. 

I keep thinking about Billy Porter's tuxedo dress from the Oscars, which was amazing.

Hi Wildwood!!!

It will be interesting indeed!!!... I wish her all good things and hope she claims all the joy, discoveries and self expression to be found in the process!... I think our choices end up being a bit of a window into the parts of ourself that are seeking expression!!!

Get your credit ready and...

Onward We Go!!!

Ashley 🙋‍♀️💕🌸

PS... though not really typical Prom attire... layered Boho looks might work well with her body type and blend well with her tie-dye look affinity!!!

💕💕💕🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

How exciting for your daughter to be going to the prom as herself! 

If she has not had much experience dressing, it might be a good idea to get her bust size worked out before dress shopping.  She should wear a bra in that size, suitably padded, when trying on dresses.

I don't have any dress suggestions (other than agreeing with try everything! ) I am just so happy to hear that after only coming out a few weeks ago she's jumping right in for prom .. AWESOME! I think it's great that you are being so supportive. This shopping experience will be tremendous for both of you.

I'd love to see some photos of the dress when it's chosen.

My recent amazing  shopping experience with my wife was about wedding dresses. She was going through them checking this one and that one, checking sizes. I came over to look with her. That's when I found out, she was looking for ones that would be suitable ... for me!!   I'm 58 .. I got all giddy   

I wish I was young enough for Prom D:

Quote from: KathyLauren on March 21, 2019, 11:34:10 AM
How exciting for your daughter to be going to the prom as herself! 

If she has not had much experience dressing, it might be a good idea to get her bust size worked out before dress shopping.  She should wear a bra in that size, suitably padded, when trying on dresses.

Hi KathyLauren,

I'm feeling kind of dense as there is no bust, just a very flat chest.  I should buy a padded bra?  Stuff one of mine? Do padded bras work when there's no breast to speak of? I'm a little worried about them moving around, or looking weird.

I'm a math nerd, so I'm no good at picking dresses.  The one suggestion I would have is ACCESSORIES!  You can do an awful lot with just a scarf, artistically arranged.  Some nice earrings, or a bracelet?

I hope DD has a GREAT time!

Quote from: wildwood on March 21, 2019, 08:21:00 PM
Hi KathyLauren,

I'm feeling kind of dense as there is no bust, just a very flat chest.  I should buy a padded bra?  Stuff one of mine? Do padded bras work when there's no breast to speak of? I'm a little worried about them moving around, or looking weird.

Silicone breast forms are easily found online and give weight and... bounce!!! You could easily use a padded bra and stuff with almost anything although if she is dancing and active a lighter weight fill material won't move quite as naturally.... the silicone forms would take her far until HRT works it's magic!!!


And again... With you in her corner like this, DD is unstoppable!!!!


Onward we go


Ashley 🙋‍♀️💕🌻

Quote from: wildwood on March 21, 2019, 08:21:00 PM
Hi KathyLauren,

I'm feeling kind of dense as there is no bust, just a very flat chest.  I should buy a padded bra?  Stuff one of mine? Do padded bras work when there's no breast to speak of? I'm a little worried about them moving around, or looking weird.

Start by measuring under her bustline, where the band of a bra would go.  That will give you a starting point for the band size.  Then you and her, between you, should decide on a good cup size.  If her frame is slight, an A cup might be proportional.  A B cup looks good on a large range of body sizes.  Choose a C cup only if she is large-framed.

Either padded or not will work.  Padding has the advantage of having some inherent shape, and it smooths the surface.  (It is difficult to roll a sock so it doesn't look lumpy!)  Breast forms will give the best results.  They make mastectomy bras that are designed with pockets to hold breast forms.  Or she can stuff the cups with just about anything.  I used socks back in the day.

Good luck, and thank you for supporting your daughter!