My picture?  LMAO It's probably the nose and cheap wig. Now that I look at it, Yes , there is a witch like quality to it.
Shall I start or join a wicken?

Lol Hugs,
   Jeanette

Ultimate reason?

It's my nature to be what I am. Anyone who knows me would say the same I'm sure (with an eye roll). I'm incorrigible and have never been able to hide it. There's an intense hatred for hiding this nature - I fail miserably at hiding, and it's unhealthy to besides.

Because I was going to kill myself if I didn't...

There is no ultimate, just as GCS isn't the main point for me (hormones have been enough to make me happier, getting myself an innie simply feels right now but I'd be ok going ahead without if I had to).

for me one of the main reasons was I'm feminine in every way, interests, preferred clothes, mannerisms, way of thinking and relating, sexuality, almost every female stereotype and basically no male ones do I fit...also ive always had an extreme uncomfortable feeling when being referred to as  "guy" in anyway hated my old name, hated being grouped as "one of the guys" more then anything and always felt mentally I related to and was female....I had such a strong urge to do only feminine things and to look feminine as that's all I liked or was interested in and being told I couldn't felt like the biggest injustice in life and so wrong... "guy things" were very strange to me and men have always been a mystery.... ive known since age 3 that I was different in gender ways...more over sexually ive always only liked men and I only want to be treated as and desired as a woman.Ive always been very submissive and passive sexually and have always seen guys as the opposite sex. I find "acting female" comes very natural and easy to me where as before everyone assumed I was gay as I never new how nor felt comfortable at all "acting like a guy" and trying to would bring extreme feelings of depression...lastly I like having a female body. It feels like me and suits me and feels right.. ive NEVER wanted body or facial hair, a deep voice or to be really tall...the role society gives women (though at times oppressive) comes way more naturally to me than the male one..... ive never thought of myself as a "man" but thinking of myself as a women seems way more right than trying to call myself the other...to me its everything I guess

The ultimate reason?

Massive dysphoria, and the resulting severe depression and anxiety.

My mind, my brain, was highly feminized.  The biological stresses from feeding testosterone into a system that developed in a high estrogen environment were likely responsible for the wildly out-of-spec endocrine test panel results when I was finally checked, after a half-century of increasingly severe problems.  I even had an adenoma on the pituitary, of a sort associated with pregnancy stresses. (That is being monitored fairly closely)

HRT helped.  Lifting full time in the female role helped even more, as I finally get my gender presentation and role aligned with my gender identity.  I'm doing much better now.  In fact, I would say the last few months have been the best ones of my adult life.

I still want GCS, FFS, and a trach shave, to help my presentation and relieve some body-related distress.  Soon, soon...

I managed to stay in denial about my gender situation until I was in my early forties.  Then in 2006 I started suffering massive panic attacks that felt like heart attacks.  I fought them for ten years with everything I could think of.  Finally in the fall of 2014, in the throes of a panic attack, I tried on some clothes my wife had boxed up to send to relatives in the Philippines.  (Fortunately she and I are nearly the same size)  The panic attack stopped so suddenly it was like a switch had been flipped inside me.

By early 2016 the panic attacks were back with a vengeance even though I was crossdressing at home most of the time and dressing androgynously during outings.  I knew I had to go in for hormones and therapy.

I literally did this in order to stay alive and healthy.

Had enough of playing 'Whack-a-mole' with dysphoria.

I was also tired of lugging around a heavy suitcase filled with anxiety, depression, guilt and loneliness. So I decided to leave the wretched thing in the lobby of lost hopes and walk out the door.

It's early days for me though. I feel happier for my decision, but also frightened and a little tentative. I think my reason to transition isn't a binary decision, but an ongoing gradual process of self-acceptance.
So no ultimatums for me really. Just bit by bit, step by step progress towards a hopeful better future. That's the plan anyway. So far It seems to be working out o.k.

Quote from: Deborah on February 26, 2017, 12:41:18 PM
My reason is simple.  It is to get rid of the crushing dysphoria that made every day a living hell.

The same for me.  (And thank goodness it has worked).

    Very simple reason for me, I'll kill myself if I don't act on it in the next few years.
     I don't remember even a single moment of not being depressed in the last few years.
     I have anxiety, severe anxiety.
     I want to transition, to live.

For me it's been an awakening process. I've spent the first 39 years of my life repressing the feelings I've had.  Since I was 5, I can remember having feelings of jealousy toward girls, wishing I had been born a girl, looking in the mirror and not feeling connected to my own reflection, etc.  I always thought I was a freak, and the shame caused me to bury those feelings so deeply not even my parents got wise to it. In my teen years, it really started to surface with a vengeance.  I started experimenting with crossdressing both in private and in public. Still in secret moments or when no one would recognize me so ultimately still closeted. After getting married I tried a couple Halloweens crossdressed before I finally came out to my wife as having a cross dressing fetish.  Still in denial of what was truly going on, I knew it was more than a fetish but refused to admit I was transsexual.  In the last few years I came to understand the term genderfluid and thought that was finally an explanation I could support. More than crossdressing less than truly transsexual.  I started finally working with a counselor and peeling away the layers of conditioned behavior, denial and repression and I find once again I'm still denying myself.  Finally, I've come to terms with the fact that I am a trans woman, I've been female my whole life.  I've tried to be "strong" and hide it and be the good male husband, father, etc. but I can't do it anymore.

Why do I want to transition?  Because I've come to realize that what has been "normal" for me for 39 years is a state that I don't need to live in.  I've never known a life where I was actually comfortable just being me, I've always felt constricted, repressed, hidden, so much so that I never understood that there was something more.  Now I "see the light" and I know I can actually make myself much happier.  I can be the person I really always have been.  I can stop trying to have people see me as a typical man and finally let them interact with me as a woman. That is why I want to transition.

There were very interesting responses to read above.

For me - transition was part of an overall wellness program, including exercise, dieting, regular medical check ups (I used to skip the dr), and better self care. The GD was causing me so much anxiety and stress, transition fixed my GD my life told me I had to, that's all, I kicked the GD to the curb, I win...

C -

I realized these feelings were not going anywhere. So I thought, if I would always feel this way and would end up transitioning anyways when I was old, then why not doing it while I'm still young? So I started when I was 28.

Quote from: JeanetteLW on February 26, 2017, 01:21:56 PMI never consciously thought about transitioning.

Me either, sister. Once I knew I was female, I knew where I was going. No reflection necessary!

One of my life goals on my bucket list before i die!
But seriously, im eager to live in this world, compared to merely existing in it. x

For me, and I suspect many others, there was no choice. I really wanted a normal life, but that was denied me by dysphoria. I did all I could to push it aside, but it finally overtook me. I realised that it planned to significantly shorten my life if I didn't comply to its demands. I started HRT and within a couple of weeks I have gotten over an illness I'd suffered with for 8 months. I was asked why I want to be a woman, and I answered that it simply isn't a decision or desire, but a need. Hopefully this path will grant me the peace and health to live a full life.

Allie

I'll put it in a nutshell.

I can't fake it anymore.

It's figure out how to live authentically and free, or choose to make an exit.

Choosing to make an exit is always an option; and probably the easier option.

I'm not ready to quit.

For me it's transition or die.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Having realized this past year that I am a woman and not really gender fluid, or a mixed up cismale, I have continued my gender therapy.  I have to be myself as a woman. 

I have taken this mtf transitioning very slow and methodically.  Some know but I have friends, associates, and acquaintances whom I know think that transgender is wrong, so I have not disclosed to them.  I am not prepared yet to lose them.

I also am still squeamish about surgery and down under electrolysis.  So I have been taking baby steps.  I am hopeful of going full time, but I have to address my objections or unwillingness to do so before I can take the leap.

I know that there are some TG people that may think that is rather whimpy but as this is very personal, I have to be ready myself to go forward.  Fortunately those that do know of my mtf situation are very supportive and respectful.

I do think it has been long enough eating estrogen in foods in hopes of more body transition.  These have worked but after about five years I think I have peaked out with it and should start the medically supervised pharmacological HRT.

For all of you that have been supportive here of me, thank you so much.   


Hugs,

Chrissy

To bring my body inline with how my brain perceives it should be , I always say its like a past life memory. Also made me a lot happier

I'm tired of living an inauthentic life and having shallow relationships where I can't be myself.