So this is my introduction.

Hello. I'm a transwoman living in small town Indiana, USA. Not the most friendly place on earth. I'm 34 a late bloomer, and I'm pansexual. I don't pass. As many have said passing is a bad term, but there isn't a current term I can think of to replace it. I've been full-time since April 7th 2018.

7 months on hormones, 49 of those days doctor prescribed. Physical changes are minimal at best. I'm hoping the patches work better. I can't afford surgery or anything beyond HRT. I can't get my birth certificate changed without surgery since I was born in Michigan. I am surprised I was able to get this far.

I just listen to music and read. Reading is my main escape. I like books with strong female heroines. Written by people who identify as female. Since for the most part, women seem to write emotionally deeper, and guys just can't write female characters all that well. I like romance of the contemporary, paranormal, urban, chick-lit, etc. variety. I don't like classic or historical books, since women weren't treated very well, and had to put up with a lot of crap that I just can't handle. I read books to escape, not for more stress to be piled on. I feel sad when I reach the end of a series, and know my journey with these friends is over. I can retread those steps, but I can never journey anew with them. I wish I could be one of the characters, with a partner who will see me as me, and love me for who I am. To hold me. To go on a journey with a small group of friends that are always there for each other. To escape the world as it is. My Goodreads Link

Thank you for listening.

-edited- (Got rid of depressing TMI stuff.)

@Sarah Winters
Dear Sarah:
Thank you for following the LINK that was provided for you by @V M and myself to come here to the Introductions Forum to introduce yourself to all the members here on the Susan's Place forums.

Now you will be able to have more give and take of comments, suggestions and questions with other like-minded members.   You may even may several good friends here as you continue to post and share in the various threads around the forums.

I noticed that you stated that you were from a small town in Indiana... "not the most friendly place.."
Well, I think I have you beat....  I live in a very small, remote and very conservative Alaskan town many hours drive from any kind of bigger city.   When I relocated here 2 1/2 years ago as a full time woman to start my own woman-owned small business, I was told that I was the only trans-woman that anyone in town had ever met, and I have come to the realization that I am the only transgender in town that anyone is aware of.   

I worked very hard to fit in, be a part of the small community, involved in many community and charity events, joined a primarily women's book club, and I am part of a gym-gals group of 5 cis-women friends plus myself.  Complete acceptance has been the norm.

My town is full of rural people, hunters, fishermen, outdoors men, etc...  I expected my arrival here to be fraught with non-acceptance, staring glances, and rude comments... but that has not happened.

Because I have tried to fit in and fly under the radar, not wearing flashy over exposed and over-the-top clothing and excess makeup, I have had virtually no non-acceptance issues... which is important because I am a CPA in the financial advising and tax consulting business...  my professional, business, and private clients would not be happy campers if I were to over-state and shove my transgender status, language  and appearance in their faces. 
I present myself as a respectable and responsible business woman and have made many, many friends here along with several romantic interests with both men and women.

I say all of this to hopefully give you some optimism about your future where you live.
You have to play the card that you are dealt, make the best of it and try your hardest to fit-in.

I will be eagerly looking for your future updates and postings.
Hugs, and best of luck and well wishes.
Danielle

Hi, Sarah,

Your comments about difficulty with makeup were familiar. I tried everything, including advice from one of the few cis women I could trust with my "secret"; but nothing helped. It wasn't until I got a makeover at Sephora (free with minimum purchase) that I found the right track. I hear Ulta does them, too; and so does the local Walgreens (free), so they may where you are.

Although I've had a complete course of laser on my face and shaving areas, the upper lip continues to be a problem; I can't seem to wipe out the shadow with concealer, either. Like you, I can't afford electrolysis.

I smiled when I read what you wrote about female heroines. All my life, most of my heroes were women; you'd think I might have figured it out a long time ago. I went to see the new "Captain Marvel" movie yesterday and I loved it. Wow.

I grew up in a small-to-medium town in central Indiana, many years ago; I still have family in the state. I was raised in a conservative Christian church, too, though I am no longer a Christian. Interesting.

Welcome!

I saw the name and just had to check it out. When I was on the local news, they screwed my name up, calling me Sarah Winters. I happen to be in a tiny town called Winters, TX, population ~2000. You can see where they screwed up, combining my first name with the town name.

Anyhow, welcome to Susan's.

Hi Sarah 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Quote from: Alaskan Danielle on March 28, 2019, 06:37:34 PM
...
I noticed that you stated that you were from a small town in Indiana... "not the most friendly place.."
Well, I think I have you beat....  I live in a very small, remote and very conservative Alaskan town many hours drive from any kind of bigger city.   When I relocated here 2 1/2 years ago as a full time woman to start my own woman-owned small business, I was told that I was the only trans-woman that anyone in town had ever met, and I have come to the realization that I am the only transgender in town that anyone is aware of.   
...

I feel our issues are a bit different. I am glad you were welcomed with open arms. Considering your description of the place, I wouldn't think that would be the case. Its nice to hear how people can surprise you like that. I've lived here for quite awhile and had issues long before I went full-time. I dress conservatively, and try not to stand out. Considering how I look though its not really an option. No flying under the radar for me. Maybe more time on hormones will help, and more laser treatments. Voice help etc. Thanks for trying to help, and the motivation boost. Its nice to meet you.

Quote from: Ann W on March 28, 2019, 08:00:54 PM
Hi, Sarah,

Your comments about difficulty with makeup were familiar. I tried everything, including advice from one of the few cis women I could trust with my "secret"; but nothing helped. It wasn't until I got a makeover at Sephora (free with minimum purchase) that I found the right track. I hear Ulta does them, too; and so does the local Walgreens (free), so they may where you are.

Although I've had a complete course of laser on my face and shaving areas, the upper lip continues to be a problem; I can't seem to wipe out the shadow with concealer, either. Like you, I can't afford electrolysis.

I smiled when I read what you wrote about female heroines. All my life, most of my heroes were women; you'd think I might have figured it out a long time ago. I went to see the new "Captain Marvel" movie yesterday and I loved it. Wow.

I grew up in a small-to-medium town in central Indiana, many years ago; I still have family in the state. I was raised in a conservative Christian church, too, though I am no longer a Christian. Interesting.

Welcome!

I will see if there's a Sephora, an Ulta, or something nearby. Sadly there's nothing in town like that. That would be a huge help. Thanks for the tip.

I hope we both get the hair issues fixed. I'll send goodwill (a prayer) your way.

I guess I'll have to check out the Captain Marvel movie when it becomes available to rent.

I'm sure there are a lot of people with lives similar to ours. It is neat to meet someone with such similar experiences though.

Thanks for reaching out. You are very kind.

Quote from: Lady Sarah on March 28, 2019, 09:28:22 PM
I saw the name and just had to check it out. When I was on the local news, they screwed my name up, calling me Sarah Winters. I happen to be in a tiny town called Winters, TX, population ~2000. You can see where they screwed up, combining my first name with the town name.

Anyhow, welcome to Susan's.

Lol, very neat. Well, its nice to talk to a semi-celebrity. I am sorry they got your name wrong, but it made for an interesting coincidence. Thank you for that.

Quote from: V M on March 29, 2019, 07:54:48 PM
Hi Sarah 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hugs, and thank you all for the warm welcome.

I have been on patches for a long time. The estradot kind.
And I feel they have been amazing, such a level constant burst of estrogen with no tapering of at the end of an interval.
Androcur is my anti androgen as was typical for us in Europe and so I have stuck with it when moving to Ireland / UK.
The doctors here are very happy with my results and levels and so they have kept me on drugs they would not commonly use!

Welcome to our dwelling! :')

Quote from: Rachel_Christina on March 30, 2019, 04:40:00 AM
I have been on patches for a long time. The estradot kind.
And I feel they have been amazing, such a level constant burst of estrogen with no tapering of at the end of an interval.
Androcur is my anti androgen as was typical for us in Europe and so I have stuck with it when moving to Ireland / UK.
The doctors here are very happy with my results and levels and so they have kept me on drugs they would not commonly use!

Welcome to our dwelling! :')

My doctor put me on the Mylan kind. I've had to use Tegraderm film to keep them on. Otherwise they air bubble, and fall off rather easily. May I ask where you put your patches. I'm not sure if placement makes a large difference. I was putting mine on my arm, but then switched to my hips. I've been on Spiro since the beginning.  I don't believe Androcur is allowed here in the U.S. Since the patches worked so well for you, maybe they'll work better than the pills did for me.

On the pills while self-medicating I was at:
Estradiol           172 pg/mL
Testosterone     26 NG/DL

I have to wait for the next doctors appointment to see where I'm at now with the patches.

Thanks for the welcome.

I think this is okay to post since I didn't write down dosages?

Quote from: Sarah Winters on April 01, 2019, 10:11:47 PM
My doctor put me on the Mylan kind. I've had to use Tegraderm film to keep them on. Otherwise they air bubble, and fall off rather easily. May I ask where you put your patches. I'm not sure if placement makes a large difference. I was putting mine on my arm, but then switched to my hips. I've been on Spiro since the beginning.  I don't believe Androcur is allowed here in the U.S. Since the patches worked so well for you, maybe they'll work better than the pills did for me.

On the pills while self-medicating I was at:
Estradiol           172 pg/mL
Testosterone     26 NG/DL

I have to wait for the next doctors appointment to see where I'm at now with the patches.

Thanks for the welcome.

I think this is okay to post since I didn't write down dosages?

I think patches are good, a steady solid flow of hormones.
I have mine just below my panty line just above the hair of my genital area. I put them in three different spots that I rotate every 3.5 days this one in the middle and two either side of the first spot. It's where my ovaries should be so I thought why not lol.
Seems to work well

I think you'll be fine with your levels.

I was put on full dose blocker from day one. That was amazing!