Quote from: KimOct on March 30, 2019, 02:55:49 PM



  Emma your path will appear to you when it is time.

Above Quote from Obe Won KonKimmy!

Damn you taking the 9th. Think Emma is sick of us yet?

Yeah probably    There's always facebook if we scare her off. 

On an unrelated note, what is up with this estrogen stuff?   So I get home tonight and start watching my DVR of the live action version of "Beauty and the Beast"  I saw it at the theater shortly after my name change.  I love it.

It surprises me some of the stuff I like now.  Flowers, girly movies what the heck?  I didn't like that stuff before and I am not trying to adopt it.  I actually like it.  I still like 'guy' stuff - sports etc but every time I like something I didn't like before I wonder if it's the hormones. 

The hormones are strong with you young Skywalker.  😀

You both are like a really bad "Yoda and Costello" comedy team.....and Mom said you both should leave me alone....

This is my first really emotionally quiet weekend in a while.  Not sure if that is good or bad but I am taking it.

I have always loved romantic movies.  I always thought I was sappy.  Now I have an idea why....

Quote from: Emma1017 on March 31, 2019, 09:18:06 AM
You both are like a really bad "Yoda and Costello" comedy team.....and Mom said you both should leave me alone....

This is my first really emotionally quiet weekend in a while.  Not sure if that is good or bad but I am taking it.

I have always loved romantic movies.  I always thought I was sappy.  Now I have an idea why....

Look Kim, the reviews are in, she LOVES us. "Mom wants us to stop"... Emma, you scamp! lol

Ignoring Moni and Kim for the time being... its about time I had something humorous to share. 

I have to confess I can't stop playing with my chest.  I love the way it moves.  I keep pushing my breasts around and I know I have a stupid grin on my face.  I know my breasts aren't big but they are there now and they there weren't two months ago.

It's just really cool.

It means a lot to me.

Hugs,

Emma

Quote from: Emma1017 on March 31, 2019, 05:26:08 PM
Ignoring Moni and Kim for the time being... its about time I had something humorous to share. 

I have to confess I can't stop playing with my chest.  I love the way it moves.  I keep pushing my breasts around and I know I have a stupid grin on my face.  I know my breasts aren't big but they are there now and they there weren't two months ago.

It's just really cool.

It means a lot to me.

Hugs,

Emma

Hi Emma,
               I think you had a bit of trepidation and worry about breasts giving you away. Now you have some. Aren't they just great ! Having your own is just the best thing in the world !

I bet you cant wait for more growth.


  P.S. Tell me to shut up if I'm talking out of turn.

  Yours truly, Kirsten.

@Emma1017
Dear Emma:
What you described is something that I think that many MTF transitioners may experience. 
In my own transition, early on in my HRT when my breasts started to get sensitive and started to grow I could not keep my hands off of them. 
Now after 4+ years of HRT and living full time for 2 1/2 years, and with C cup female breasts for the last couple years, the allure has basically worn off for the most part.   
It is just a normal thing now for me to put on my bra, take off my bra, feel the jiggling when running or going up and down stairs, etc. 
Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to have breasts and I do like how they feel on my body.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this subject.
HUGS,
Danielle

Quote from: Emma1017 on March 31, 2019, 05:26:08 PM
Ignoring Moni and Kim for the time being... its about time I had something humorous to share. 

I have to confess I can't stop playing with my chest.  I love the way it moves.  I keep pushing my breasts around and I know I have a stupid grin on my face.  I know my breasts aren't big but they are there now and they there weren't two months ago.

It's just really cool.

It means a lot to me.

Hugs,

Emma

Gosh Kim. You are never out of line and yes it is the greatest and yes I want bigger ones.  I am literally gushing as I write this.  OMG I am a 14 year old girl!!!!!

Danielle you are also truly like a big sister.  I can't wait to wear a bra and I can't wait to hate wearing a bra.  It is truly so exciting!!!

I am so not acting like a responsible 63 year old.....

Big hugs,

Emma

Acting one's age is overrated anyway.

Emma - A calm weekend is a great thing.  Sharing your emotions here is helpful but my gosh you need a break once in awhile.  Glad you are enjoying your boobies.    It is affirming.

Speaking of wanting bigger boobies I am not sure if I mentioned the 'boob sucker' in this thread or just in Moni's thread but anyway - I think it is actually going to meet my modest expectations.  There has been a small change but enough to notice.

Kirsten you are never out of line and you are right having breasts is the best. Hugs, Emma

Quote from: KimOct on March 31, 2019, 09:43:27 PM
Emma - A calm weekend is a great thing.  Sharing your emotions here is helpful but my gosh you need a break once in awhile.  Glad you are enjoying your boobies.    It is affirming.

Speaking of wanting bigger boobies I am not sure if I mentioned the 'boob sucker' in this thread or just in Moni's thread but anyway - I think it is actually going to meet my modest expectations.  There has been a small change but enough to notice.

Even if it does nothing for the size, it FEELS really nice...



Kate

Colleen you are absolutely right!!!

Katie and Kim I'll put it on my Christmas list. 

I know I am setting myself for a ton of knowing smiles but I am still not absolutely convinced that I am totally going to transition (GCS & FFS).  It's a lot and a year+ off.  I feel like there's many things that will happen between now and then.

Maybe its my cynical nature, maybe it's fear.  It could just be just doubt...or all of the above but this year+ feels like a long time, even after waiting 63 years.

sigh

Emma, I mean this with no disrespect to what you are going through. I spent 57 years thinking it was impossible for me too. Only you know you. I didn't know what I was capable  of until I hit that special (horrible) tipping point. Then all the things I thought impossible somehow turned out to be possible.
Moni

OK let's get down to brass tacks here.  Emma - There is a wide variety of ways to live as your authentic self. 
Here are just a few of the ways people in the Transgender spectrum live.

1.  Entirely closeted - think about it - never do anything.
2.  Closeted crossdressers - that is its own discussion. Some it is just a sexual turn-on and others want to believe that.
3. Non-binary people - both feel and present as they wish also related to gender fluid.
4. Non-op trans-people.  Live as one gender but do nothing medically.
5. Partial op (like me ) an orchie and HRT only.
6. Surgically transition.  FFS BA GCS  all or some of the above.

This is a partial list that many would argue about (so please don't)  because it does not come anywhere close to the many ways people live this life.

The point of this whole thing is BE YOU.  Someone I know very well that is fully transitioned and looks great kept her penis by choice.  She likes how it feels and so does her girlfriend.  She is legally female, her daughters and ex call her Mom and she just happens to have a penis - by choice.

I want to have vaginoplasty FFS and BA but they may not be in the cards for me.  Health and money issues.  I haven't given up for sure - I was looking at insurance plans a few minutes ago figuring out what is covered.

But if I end up with just an orchie and HRT am I less of a woman?  My intellect says no - my emotions say- eh sort of.

My Point is................ You can be any kind of transwoman you want to be.  What you need to do is live as YOU !!

Don't use this as a rationalization to go half way.  Use it as a way to figure out who you are and decide what to do about it.

OK I gotta go before Moni tells Mom on me for pitching a fit.  😀

Quote from: Emma1017 on April 01, 2019, 05:03:24 PM
I know I am setting myself for a ton of knowing smiles but I am still not absolutely convinced that I am totally going to transition (GCS & FFS).  It's a lot and a year+ off.  I feel like there's many things that will happen between now and then.

Maybe its my cynical nature, maybe it's fear.  It could just be just doubt...or all of the above but this year+ feels like a long time, even after waiting 63 years.

sigh

The best thing about all of this is that you don't have to do anything or you can "do the lot" and the only people that are going to be impacted are you and your wife(to a lesser extent) Being a woman is what happens between your ears and having GCS is a huge life changing event (For you) no one else is really impacted, I know you will argue your wife will be and yes I would agree but the impact to you is the first thing you need to consider.

At the end of the day it is about what you and your wife and no one else want.

Why do I bother fighting?

I know that I will transition.  It is just a matter of when.  I said on Kristen's thread regarding the "point of no return" that:

"This process is a constant battle between our hearts and minds.  As much as I hate to admit it I know that I will also hit my personal point of no return.  I am trying to delay it but I know it is coming.

You and I know that we can't stop the joy we feel as we see the changes that we have waited a lifetime to experience."

I accept that I am transgender but I keep fighting transitioning.  My mind says "NO" and my heart clearly says "YES". 
I know with each passing day "NO" is slowly fading away. 

This rough, past year has proven that to me.  This next one should be a dozy.

Hugs,

Emma

I just read the right word on someone else's thread that describes what is happening to me, I am evolving whether I like it or not. 

Transitioning for me has not been THE ONE BIG DECISION.  It has been a series of sometimes small and subtle changes that have, over time, connected into a larger change.  Those changes, all voluntarily initiated by me, have slowly eroded my emotional barriers.

It is a strange and fascinating process if you take the emotion out.

And so I continue to evolve. 

Hugs,

Emma

I think we all go through this process in different ways for different reasons.  I know people that HAD to do it to save their lives.  Probably some of you reading can relate.  For others it is a longing, for some a preference.

Additionally we all have different challenges based on where we are in our lives.  Spouse or not, career concerns, money concerns, health concerns, and of course the great unknown and the fear.

The one thing that shouldn't stop anyone is the fear.

This is a tough road, tougher for some of us than others but it can lead to a joyful place or at least some peace.