Wow, I'm very grateful for all of your kind words of support.  I will continue to review the site info there's a lot available!  I have not yet found a way to see a doctor that I feel family or work wouldn't question but I'm working on it.   Off to the Introductions forum I go!

Thank you so much for the warm welcome!

Quote from: kellymonroe on March 03, 2019, 05:34:54 PM
Hi Everyone,

I'm new... i mostly found Susan's Place because I'm beyond depressed.  I've begun self medicating because a doctor isn't an option, right now, but I'm low dosing hormones and... I'm surviving.  Of course everything I've read says I'm crazy and well... maybe I am.

Can anyone relate to me?

As you can tell by the response you received with this post, you are not alone! *HUG*

Many of us have felt the way you do. 

But, I also advise that you stop self-medicating. 

Otherwise, that is just another issue you will have to deal with should you find a gender therapist/transgender support group/understanding Informed Consent clinic. 

You don't want that, you might simply need us here at Susan's Place, HRT and an understanding gender therapist.

Good luck my friend.

Ryuichi

P.S. I didn't even know that I wasn't the only one born the wrong gender until I was 54.  Now, at 57, I'm finally the man I should have been born as! 

Ryu

Quote from: CarlyMcx on March 04, 2019, 02:08:02 AM
Yeah I missed the boat...then I dove in and swam after it for all I was worth.

You'll find me dancing on the Lido deck.

Hugs, Carly

Roflcopter!
I feel like the boat is so far away and hitting the water im only just realizing how deep it is.  I feel like the best i can hope for is to be towed behind the boat in a dingy but that's only if i don't drown trying to get there.  The further out i get though the less i cry for myself and the more i laugh at myself. This is a crazy place that reflects my thoughts so clearly like narcissus in the pond.  I wish I'd found girls like you 20 years ago.

Hi Kelly,

I stared HRT at age 50 and I am 56 now.

I self medicated for a while and then went to a LGBT practice. They see thousands of trans. It was very affirming to see so many like me. I am so very glad I went there.

I know how hard it is starting out and how hard it is to live with dysphoria. I know the guilt and embarrassment you feel. I am able to love who I am and being a woman.

I hope you can be seen by a doctor that can prescribe your HRT and monitor your blood.

Rachel

Hi Kelly, I came out last November 2018 and was 54 at the time. I have worn my mom's clothes and undergarments, shaved my legs and elsewhere (yes ... there), have always felt more comfortable around women, I have always thought more like a woman and woke up on November 12, 2018, and decided enough was enough. Accept yourself as your true self.

Mental illness, general anxiety and depression, have followed me my entire adult life. Therapy and medication have and do help. Accepting I am transgender was the most important step and now I feel fabulous. My bad behaviours to manage the stress and depression have disappeared.

Today, I live 98% of the time as a woman. Why 98%? Well, my 20y and 15y children are part of the journey for me as well and I have decided, at my son's request, to dress male in front of my son for now so he can become accustomed to the real me. I dress as me, Zoe, when with my daughter.

What is important is to accept who you are, celebrate you, and look after you, because there is one truth in life ... the only person who will be with you for every step of your life is YOU and you better like that person!

There is a downside for me ... I am separated from my wife of 21 years. Now, our marriage wasn't on solid ground to begin with but it is not easy to manage. If you have a strong and loving relationship, hopefully your family will accept you as YOU and begin the journey of understanding along with you.

There is one thing I have learned in the last 4 months: my fears about how people will respond are far worse than what really happens. Find the courage, take the necessary step, reach out and all will be well.

Good luck with the transition. Take it slow.

Hugs Zoe