This is something I think about an awful lot so I thought that I would make a thread on it. The thought that I often think is that if I were born a biological female rather than a biological male who later transitions into a female, I would have had a much easier time being accepted by society. This is very sad but it is true. When I was living as a boy, I had alot of feminine tendencies so I was often called the f word. This was before I had transitioned.
Now that I am almost 27 years old and living as a female, I will tell you that it hasn't gotten much better. I feel like I may have lost alot more acceptance just because I transitioned. This of course does not mean there are no accepting people out there.
I suppose you could say that at this point I am resigned to the fact that mainstream society does not accept me. If I happen to find somebody who does accept me, it should be taken as a wonderful surprise.

I've found that after transitioning I fit into society better. As as a very feminine male it was far worse. These days I just blend in.

General acceptance has a lot to do with where you live. Some places are much better than other places.

I've always been pretty masculine, so (except for most of my family,) transitioning for me was pretty easy, socially-speaking.

Of course, it also helped that I moved to a new state before transitioning.   

Ryuichi

Hello again CosmicJoke

I agree that that there has been an anti-reaction or a "societal taboo" against the transgender subject and indeed here in the UK it has only really been in the public domain since around 2005 and it takes more than 14 years to change thinking or culture.

However I am pleased to say that this attitude (which in many cases stems from either ignorance or extremist and false religious views) is diminishing. Many people now are indifferent or frankly too busy to judge us. The younger generation are much more understanding and accepting of us. We are getting there!

I hope you soon find things improve and I wish you success and happiness.

Hugs

Pamela

I genuinely cannot fathom WHY strangers care how another person dresses, what pronouns they give themselves, who they chose to love. I mean, so long as they're not hurting anyone why does it matter?
It makes no sense to me. I just can't wrap my head around WHY people care.

I live by the words "harm ye not, do as ye will" and I wish more people would ascribe to that ethos.
The world would be a far better place if we stopped policing how other people were supposed to be and dictating how they're supposed to respond to and interact with the world.

I am fortunate to live in a small town that already has a trans woman and a ->-bleeped-<- living here, both of whom freely present and who seem to be entirely accepted. Nobody bats an eyelid, which is how it SHOULD be.

But I still just.. I read the vitriol from people regarding trans but also sexuality and I think "but.. how is it in any way impacting YOU? why does it matter so much to YOU random angry stranger?"
because ultimately, how does it impact them?

It's utterly bizarre. Those people are freaks. I mean sheesh, anyone who cares that much about what's in another person's pants or how they dress clearly has a screw loose right?

I hope things continue to improve. It's such frustratingly slow process and it makes me genuinely angry. Just eugh... why do other people have to be so needlessly cruel?
Sometimes I really just hate humanity.

Quote from: pamelatransuk on April 11, 2019, 06:26:11 AM

However I am pleased to say that this attitude (which in many cases stems from either ignorance or extremist and false religious views) is diminishing. Many people now are indifferent or frankly too busy to judge us. The younger generation are much more understanding and accepting of us. We are getting there!

Wholeheartedly agree with this too.
Woud also say however, that we and everybody esle tend to judge others too. Not necessarily in a negative light,
but its simply a natural human behavior and very often.. We don't realize we are doing it too. x   

Quote from: Josie_L on April 11, 2019, 09:14:47 AM
Wholeheartedly agree with this too.
Woud also say however, that we and everybody esle tend to judge others too. Not necessarily in a negative light,
but its simply a natural human behavior and very often.. We don't realize we are doing it too. x

This is true. When someone puts up an avatar, we make a judgement of some kind about them. Everybody, with the possible exception of blind people unconsciously make assumptions based on looks. I think I have always gravitated to the underdogs of the world. Underdogs at least know what it is like to be stepped on to some degree. It's my hope and belief that this inspires empathy in them.

CosmicJoke

I can relate to your experience. I am in Jacksonville FL, and so many trans non-binary people here hide all the time. You can't even get them out together because they are fearful on who to trust. There's really no trans-visibility. I believe visibility or community helps acceptance overall.

I was presenting as female (amab) for a few months. Over time it really got me. I took a step back and now appear more non-binary neither 100% male or full female. You can tell I am male up close, but I still get a double take from men when I am out. I feel more comfortable out in society now. I have some things to work on as far as my look. I admire the big tittie girls who have body work but haven't decided if i want to go the surgery route. I like being able to step in and step out when I choose. This may be due to fear, or my insecurities on passing. I still take my hormones daily, but until I can "pass" as female I really don't want to be out looking like a man in a dress/skirt.

Quote from: CosmicJoke on April 10, 2019, 03:15:27 PM
This is something I think about an awful lot so I thought that I would make a thread on it. The thought that I often think is that if I were born a biological female rather than a biological male who later transitions into a female, I would have had a much easier time being accepted by society. This is very sad but it is true. When I was living as a boy, I had alot of feminine tendencies so I was often called the f word. This was before I had transitioned.
Now that I am almost 27 years old and living as a female, I will tell you that it hasn't gotten much better. I feel like I may have lost alot more acceptance just because I transitioned. This of course does not mean there are no accepting people out there.
I suppose you could say that at this point I am resigned to the fact that mainstream society does not accept me. If I happen to find somebody who does accept me, it should be taken as a wonderful surprise.

i don't know if this is helpful, but here goes. It's very courageous to be out, and I know it is hard, but you are helping blaze a path for those who come after you.  Society won't accept us unless we are visible and advocate for each other.

I am not saying every transgender or LGBTQ+ person needs to be an activist, but sometimes, just by the little inroads we make in our journey we help push the ball a little further.

I tell myself this when I have a bad experience being out and still being androgynous at best.  Sometimes it even helps

Love,

Jael

Jael

Absolutely. So we can quite correctly make it a win-win situation.

If being out goes well, we are happy.

If something goes wrong, we are helping our cause and others like us and we ponder that and consequently it gives us relief!

Hugs

Pamela