I took some time to think about how I wished to introduce myself.   I joined because I was not able to find a decent support group in my area.  I have turned to Susan's place several times over the last few years to learn about myself and about what others like me have to say.

I joined this week because I want to both contribute and belong.  I am 50.  I knew I was different well before grade school.  I tried to hide it.  I joined the military to try and prove to family and myself I was a "man".  In the end it didn't matter.  While I am glad I served it did little to alleviate my doubts as to who I was.   I knew I felt feminine.  I saw myself as feminine but I lived in a world that disagreed with me. 

I grew up in an era where information about disphoria was either not available or not common.  I made some mistakes confusing my gender disphoria with the notion that those feelings must mean that I am gay.  I tried dating men but the results were both unsatisfying and odd feeling.  I could not separate the ideas of feeling like a woman but not likening men.  I think that discrepancy caused me greater angst than the realization that I am a woman that just happens to look more like a man at the moment.

So I am a woman who still looks manly and I like women which is good as I am married to a wonderful wife who supports and loves me even when she has trouble understanding me.  I started HRT three years ago but only got 6 months into it before quitting as the blood tests without insurance were out of control.  I had to cancel my electrolysis to pay for the blood tests. 

I recently got my PCP to prescribe spiro so I can make some minor progress on my journey.  My PCP also agreed to run blood tests no cost for me if I found someone to manage the HRT.  Sometime in the next several weeks I will see Planned Parebthood and see if they will help.


I live in SW Florida and work in manufacturing.  I like working with my hands and building things.  I like planning and organizing the days builds.  The company I work for is very diverse.  Sometimes the area I work can look something like a carnival with the variety of folk around.  Even though things are run by good ole boys, it seems that folk like me do fit in, in most areas below middle management.  Even so, for a job in Florida, it's not bad. 

I look forward to meeting many of you and learning and maybe even helping.

Best Regards

Bea

@Bea1968
Hello Bea:
Thank you for following the LINK to come to the Introductions Forums that our lovely member @V M provided in her Welcome Message to you last week on your very first posting on another thread.

Now that you have posted several comments around the forums and have now officially introduced yourself, more members here will be aware of you presence on the forums.

As you continue to be involved in the forums you will most likely make like-minded friends that you can share mutual thoughts and comments with.

In the Welcome Message that our member V M gave to you, she included important and informative LINKS with the rules and navigation hints that will allow you to best utilize and enjoy the Susan's Place Forums.   Look closely at the LINKS in RED, there are answers to questions that most new members will ask.

You will find this a safe, happy and informative place to share your thoughts.
Please continue to be involved as much or as little as you feel comfortable doing.

Again, Welcome to Susan's Place.
Best Wishes to you,
Danielle

Hi Bea thanks for that awesome introduction. My name is Moni, short for Monica. This is a great place to share, to learn, to vent, and, yes, to help others. Glad you are here. See you around.

Hi Bea 

Thank you for posting an Intro, and again...

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here

Hugs

V M

Hi, Bea,

I was surprised to discover that blood tests can be relatively inexpensive -- compared to hospitals -- if you have them done yourself, at a private lab.

The first time I had blood tests was at the behest of my endocrinologist. When I got the bill, I nearly discorporated. After discovering private labs, I found out I could have saved hundreds of dollars simply by using them instead.

Hope it helps.                   

Hello Bea, I've enjoyed reading your posts and welcome to our mind mash...

Hugs

Cynthia -