Hi all, I am having FTM top surgery in 57 days. To anyone who has had surgery, (top, BA, FFS, SRS, etc.) how did you deal with the waiting? Did you have second thoughts? Doubts? Fears? Euphoria? Increased dysphoria?

It took about 10 months to get this surgery date. I think I handled the ups and downs and the frequent delays pretty well. This now feels like a different kind of waiting. I will be making an appointment with my gender therapist to do a check in soon.

Share with me your coping tricks or how you diverted your attention away from your upcoming surgery.

Thanks,
Perry

Hi Perry, I had to wait like 18 months for my GCS date after paying the deposit to secure it. The wait is an event in it's self  I had no doubts I wanted this procedure. I really worried about some event not related to my surgery getting in the way, like accident, or something unexpected. I became a bit more focused on the long term outcome and really did not venture too far out of my comfort zone, I held on tight to my dreams, and stayed in a very regular routine. I coped with exercising a lot, and preparing my body for the shock about to come. I had regular visits with my therapist during this time, it was quite useful to bounce things off her for an hour every month. I also posted online to forum such as yourself, and received support from others, so my message is stay cool, stay focused, thinking outcome.

Best to you Perry

Cynthia -

I'm in a similar place to you, I have a BA and FFS in seven weeks...

To cope with the wait, I just use some of the more positive coping mechanisms I used for dysphoria and keep myself busy as much as I can.  The problem I have is at night, I have some very strange dreams and even getting to sleep can be problematic.  I haven't really had second thoughts as I know this is what I want/need to do, just a mixture of excitement and anxiousness over things like am I choosing the right surgeon, what if there are complications, what if I don't like the results, etc. 

I have found talking through my thoughts with friends has helped, not that they can give me any specific advice but I do find it really helps just to be able to air my thoughts to someone else

Charlotte

I waited 2 years 8 months from GP referral to end up getting signed off for surgery, although I learned it was a year wait after being given permission for T before they would consider it. It didn't feel like a long time at all because I was dreading the actual surgery. Pain, recovery time, potential problems, etc. I needn't have worried at all but I'd never had that kind of operation before. Before it I had something of a phobia of being in hospital as a patient.

I also had to lose a stone in weight and buy in the various things I wanted to have on hand for my hospital stay, as well as try to build up the pectorals while I waited as that apparently helps a surgeon more in shaping the chest.

Not looking forward to something that much does make time fly. Of course I wanted the result, just not the experience of the operation and the 1-3 months of immediate recovery.

I also run a business where I do the bulk of the actual work and commission, so that kept my mind occupied and off the wait as it's sometimes high-pressure at certain times of the year. During those times I literally had no time to sit thinking about the time. I also have plenty of creative projects always on the go to divert me.

Waiting for orchiodectomy was torture! Make yourself a visual chart and cross off the days as they go. In all honesty the last 2 hours of waiting seemed to last eternity...

Quote from: Perry on May 13, 2019, 03:19:32 PM
Hi all, I am having FTM top surgery in 57 days. To anyone who has had surgery, (top, BA, FFS, SRS, etc.) how did you deal with the waiting? Did you have second thoughts? Doubts? Fears? Euphoria? Increased dysphoria?

It took about 10 months to get this surgery date. I think I handled the ups and downs and the frequent delays pretty well. This now feels like a different kind of waiting. I will be making an appointment with my gender therapist to do a check in soon.

Share with me your coping tricks or how you diverted your attention away from your upcoming surgery.

Thanks,
Perry

I had surgery last December and like any life changing surgery I wanted it to come sooner rather than later. One of the things I did was have a spreadsheet with the count down running on it and drove members of this board crazy with my constant posting about my surgery and all the prep I had to do to get there. But in a very real sense there was nothing much I could do other than post here, talk to people who had surgery and read about their experiences.

Good luck and just think only 57 Days to go YAHOO!!

Liz

Thank you all for the replies.

I'm wrapping up a project I started a few weeks ago. I have decided to make a "paper chain" using card stock cut into strips. On each strip I have written an affirmation or quotation that reflects or supports this journey. I'll link them all together, cut one off each day and read the sentiment.  That will start about 1 month out.

My other project is to turn a couple of oversize, inexpensive t-shirts into zip up shirts. I bought the last of the supplies today. I'll cut the t-shirts open up the front, bind the edges and sew in an open bottom zipper (like for a hoodie). I'll probably also customize the collar a bit, still working that out in my mind.

Those projects should keep me busy for a bit. I'm an inveterate list maker so I'll make lists, and check them twice, for each of the various aspects of pre & post surgery needs.

Thanks again for your time and encouragement!

And, @LizK I eagerly watched as your countdown ticked away, I was so very excited for you! Glad it all is working out for you.

Perry

55 days now!

Congratulations.

It has been about 2.5 years since GCS. I never regretted the procedure nor had second thoughts prior.

Take it one day at a time and make preparations for the change. Make a list and cross it off one by one.

Good luck.

Perry, very happy for you getting your surgery. I was so terrible as a waiting woman, so I can offer no advice other than do it better than I did.

Thanks @Rachel !

@HappyMoni

Thanks Moni!