Not long ago I received a message from this woman I used to see regularly when I lived in Petawawa. I met her in 2016 during my lowest of my low in life. I expressed to her all my fears, shames, guilts and scary feelings in regards to transitioning. Never about the actual transition itself but more around the lines of how i felt I must be a fake and could never allow myself to be free. After leaving Petawawa in 2017 we have had some contact here and there.
Recently I recived a random message from her asking me if I would be ok talking to a transgender male. Without specifics he is going through much of what I had. Never ending doubts and criticism caster at him by family as I had, fears of a face plant and such. When asked if I would talk to him I felt humbled. I have learned a lot about myself, specifically in 2019 alone. I've learnt how to manage my own emotions and just love. Infact a side from some very little beard hair left I feel in the morning as I wash face or the penis I feel absolutely no dysphoira, and even the dysphoira I do feel doesn't sting as it has. Infact I can't recall the last time I had a real dysphoira attack that lasted longer than 5 minutes.
I'm not super sure if this will be a small short lived communication or if this could morph into a long lasting friendship of some type but I am excited to meet someone who needs help and how I could give them the tools for him to look into himself to be as strong as possible. He starts T today so congrats to him! I just hope he'll be able not allow the demons to destroy his first as had happened to me years ago.
