Greetings from Park City, Utah,
I'm a writer and former journalist and a 51-year-old mom of a 14-year-old child who came out as trans to me and my husband two months ago. We were not surprised as our kid didn't ever seem to have a girlie bone in his body from the day he was born, though he never talked about being a boy until now. He just lived his life in a way that was basically free of gender constraints - he dressed how he wanted, played how he wanted (mostly in the dirt, with boys) had sharks and dinosaurs on his birthday cakes, went fishing with dad, tried to join Boy Scouts in 3rd grade (they said no, we were five years ahead of that policy change in Massachusetts). And on and on.
We adored having a 'tomboy' as fishing and hiking were cooler than lip gloss and fast fashion, in our opinions. But he was beginning a journey, which he did by thinking and reading and researching a lot before finally telling us he is a boy. The onset of puberty also brought him anxiety and emotional distress, and we sought input from a therapist. When he came out, he let us know he was already out at school and with friends. Since then he's come out to everyone except one grandparent, and has had a loving, extremely positive reception from everyone, including newer friends in our Utah community (we moved from MA last year to live in the mountains and be closer to skiing).
There seems to have been so much progress on understanding and embracing gender diversity jus tin the last few years that his junior high has an all-gender bathroom, and four other kids who identify as trans - with apparently no bullying or social repercussions. It's amazing what the kids are up to these days. When my son comes out to elementary schoolers (friends of his sister, etc.) they all just basically say "Cool!" and move on immediately to looking for cookies. One fifth-grader advised him that now he will need to pull chairs out for women, which is a chore. :-))
My son is very social justice and activism minded, and plans to focus on gender identity issues as he goes through school and plans his future. He's looking forward to his first UT Pride parade next month (we've already taken our kids to Pride parades in New Orleans and Paris, but this will be his first carrying the trans flag).
Everyone is on board with his identity - family, friends, school, community - and we realize it will be a challenging road at times, but it's going to be a beautiful thing seeing what he accomplishes from a position of safety and support!
