I have noticed that the standard method of transition these days ( in my time there was no protocol ) is to do so gradually.  I don't really get why this is.  Just curious what the reasoning is.

Social continuity is but one answer.

In my case I went slow so my family others I care about could adjust, simple as that.

Have a nice day

C -

I guess that seems obvious now that you've explained it.   

If I had a magic wand I'd do my whole transition in 10 minutes. Sadly my wand broke a couple of years ago and it can't be fixed, so I'll have to do my transition slowly piece by piece.

I have to parrot Cynthia though...the reason I'll have to go slow is because of my family. Luckily for me I'm single so I don't have a significant other that I have to worry about losing.

Another poster said in a different forum that the trans woman has had a lifetime to get used to the idea of transitioning. So it's unrealistic to think that our families can get used to it in a matter of hours or days. It takes them a long time too.

I was very impressed by her insight.

If I'd had my druthers, I'd have done it a lot faster.  My wife was on board and supportive from day 1, so that was not a concern.

My delays have been due to the health care system.  Waiting lists are crazy, due to a shortage of doctors.  I went private for a couple of my therapist letters just to speed things along. 

Getting my second GRS letter took more than a year.  It had to be from a psychiatrist, so I had to work within the system.  By the time I was six months on HRT, I knew I wanted surgery, so I asked my doctor to get me started on that process.  She referred me to an out of town psychiatrist whose waiting list was "only" a year.  Most have two-year waiting lists. 

I waited patiently for 12 months, then decided to rattle the shrink's cage.  When I talked to her secretary, I was told it might be another year.  Fortunately, the doc took pity on me, and got me an appointment with a month (i.e. 13 months from referral).  The appointment was a big anticlimax.  Three and a half hours driving each way, for a half-hour appointment!  It took another two months to actually get the letter in my hand.

And that is considered fast around here!  Then I had to wait for insurance pre-approval.  Now I am waiting for a surgery date.

If it was up to me, I'd have had my surgery more than a year ago.

For me "gradual " was not an option, maybe it is for younger girls.   At 70 I said it is now or never, I did not want to go to my death with a major regret.   I wanted to experience the last chapter of my life as a women from the outside too.  In two years I did intensive therapy, HRT, FFS, and GRS.   All my ID's, passports, etc. now are female.   This was done with the whole hearted support of the Israel psychological and medical community which is state funded.   They too all agreed that for me "gradual" was not an option.

Transition is naturally a marathon and not a sprint. Hair removal alone can take several years depending on the popularitiy of your electrologist. Mine is very popular. I am beginning my third year of hrt and my boobs are still developing, I have nice c cups but the aereola's are still developing. You can speed it up slightly with surgery. It takes about three years to get a nice head of hair. Mine, is now to my shoulder blades. Sometimes it is the restrictions that are put on like a two year wait in some socialized medicine locations but. I have a Canadian friend that had to buck the system. It cost her plenty.

Haley,

I fear, but cannot stop transitioning.  It calms me at each step, but I fear my life crashing when I come out.
I'm tortured by delaying each step, but but but. 
In going very slowly I cling to the futile hope that just one more level will be tolerable and not public.  A place to live relatively happier, and at a truce with the world. 
It sounds dark as I write this, but it's been a better place, and sharing here is a wonderful outlet.  Friends that know you deeply are the only real friends.  Here is to friends!


Lauren

Dawn I'm working on growing my hair now. Well not actively working on it...I don't fertilize it or anything like that. ha ha ha...sorry I just couldn't help myself. I get a little goofy when I'm tired.

But seriously I'm working on my hair. I haven't had it cut since December and it's getting quite long. At least it's long by my old standards. For most of my life I had very short hair. So this long hair was kind of getting on my nerves at first. But now I'm really starting to like it. It's now down to my collar and that's way longer than it's ever been.

I've heard that it's best to have your hair trimmed from time to time to promote faster growth, but I don't know if that's true or not. I'm going to call the lady who cuts my hair and ask. If so I'm going to spring for a trim this weekend.

I couldn't agree more Lauren!!

In my case it's a few things.

1: the wait time to actually speak to the GIC, let alone access hormones or surgery is into the YEARS of waiting. So i'm stuck on a wait list anyway.

2: I want to give my family and loved ones time to adjust to the idea as well as myself, I know I want it but there's days the doubt creeps in and taking it slow helps to ease that fear I suppose.

3: Gradual transition over a few years more closely mimmicks organic puberty which in my mind seems like it'll be gentler on my poor poor body. I have a preexisting hormonal disorder which makes me VERY sensitive to hormonal fluctuations, so I really need to be careful and be sure I can tolerate T before I saturate my body in it. Taking it slow strikes me as the most sensible way to ease into it and reduce the risk to my health.
While T therapy is usually fairly low risk, i'm not a normal case. My body is really really borked up so it's worth being gentle at least initially, just in case.

4: is kinda related to 3. Because of my health issues I sort of have to get healthy first. I need to sort out my current hormonal problem (I'm estrogen dominant and barely producing any other hormone which is not good news), fix my biochemistry, lose some weight so I can actually get surgery and potentially need a hysterectomy due to ANOTHER medical condition made worse by the dang estrogen dominance.
I need a few more tests run, then I can get the drugs I need to be at least well.. ish. and then I potentially get surgery which i'll then have to recover from.
so all that means a delay to the transition. I have to get well first. But i'm trying to view it as part of the process. Getting these initial meds are step one toward transition, and telling myself that helps me from feeling too much despair at the ongoing hurdles put in my way.

Quote from: Haley Conner on May 23, 2019, 10:27:06 AM
I have noticed that the standard method of transition these days ( in my time there was no protocol ) is to do so gradually.  I don't really get why this is.  Just curious what the reasoning is.

I think there are several factors supporting a several year transition process.

1) It takes HRT several years to make the nessecary changes.
2) At least for me it took two years to break down the mental barriers
3) For family and friends they also need to transition with you. This takes time.

Just saying 'today I am a woman" and expecting people to accept this immediately is being a bit... hopeful!

Now in terms of medical transition and surgery I did take a faster route. Informed consent, then after 2 years on HRT orchiodectomy. The wait for the paper work and operation was at least a year. In order to get SRS (something I probably won't bother to do) I'd have to pay myself, or wait about 10 years! Legal issues and gender markers etc were easy. Laser hair removal also took a year and a half to get the point I was happy.

I think most of the slow transition is because you have to figure out what you want it if transition. For some it's the whole gamut (HRT, body surgery, facial surgery, voice lessons, etc. For others it's just HRT and or clothing. The slow transition is to allow your family, friends, co-workers, to see the gradual change in you and they can slowly accept the new you.

If you jump in and transition very quickly with everything, you are risking yourself in the event it's not what you had planned on and hoped for. By taking it step by step you can move to each new phase as YOU are ready to and you set the pace in which you want to proceed.

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Trimming your hair is recommended to prevent split ends.  But, I air dry my hair so that hasn't been an issue.  Mine is down past the collarbone!

There is a lot to learn, mannerisms, voice, fashion, makeup, and social customs.

Quote from: KathyLauren on May 23, 2019, 11:07:22 AM
If I'd had my druthers, I'd have done it a lot faster.  My wife was on board and supportive from day 1, so that was not a concern.

My delays have been due to the health care system.  Waiting lists are crazy, due to a shortage of doctors.  I went private for a couple of my therapist letters just to speed things along. 

Getting my second GRS letter took more than a year.  It had to be from a psychiatrist, so I had to work within the system.  By the time I was six months on HRT, I knew I wanted surgery, so I asked my doctor to get me started on that process.  She referred me to an out of town psychiatrist whose waiting list was "only" a year.  Most have two-year waiting lists. 

I waited patiently for 12 months, then decided to rattle the shrink's cage.  When I talked to her secretary, I was told it might be another year.  Fortunately, the doc took pity on me, and got me an appointment with a month (i.e. 13 months from referral).  The appointment was a big anticlimax.  Three and a half hours driving each way, for a half-hour appointment!  It took another two months to actually get the letter in my hand.

And that is considered fast around here!  Then I had to wait for insurance pre-approval.  Now I am waiting for a surgery date.

If it was up to me, I'd have had my surgery more than a year ago.

Is there any way around that?


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If seen real, I had an endless slow transition. Mine started when puberty did nothing really to me, but left my body pretty childish looking for many years, and than started to very slowly feminize it.  My mental transition slowly started about 16 or 17 years ago.  It all ended recently when I did my official name and gender change.  The only last item on my transition list is SRS, which I want to takle as fast as possible.  Once that is behind me, I consider my transition to be over, and I want to blend in with all the other women of my age group.

Hello Haley

I think the main reason is because both HRT and BHR (Body Hair Removal) takes time.

Secondly it is necessary to appreciate each step with the result that the earlier doubts decrease and eventually diminish.

If you choose to go the whole way to GCS, you need psychological approval which takes time to organize and finally you have the wait for the surgery (which itself may require subsequent amendment).

Hugs

Pamela

Haley, it's family first for me! You'd think at 65 I would be in high gear, but I need to pace myself or risk losing loved ones. Also, HRT at my age may take longer to produce significant results, and I really need significant results! it only took a month from seeing my GP to starting HRT, but from here it's a waiting game.

I'd imagine finances might dictate the pace of many transitioners. The cost of medical may or may not be covered, but the costs involved with 2 wardrobes, potential job changes / losses, divorce, and starting over. I read the cost of transition in Australia is typically $100,000, and not everybody can come up with that quickly/

Allie