My name is Rachel and I'm a transgender female. I would love to transition bodily to female, but I think I'm a little old to do so. And, it is expensive and I don't have health care to do so. But, I'm comfortable just being a woman in mind, heart and soul. Honestly, there are advantages to just dressing up and remaining male in body.

How did I become female?

Honestly, I was raped at 3.5 years by a man and a woman (she was the perp with 90% of it), and the boy left and the girl took over. I also was emotional abused my whole childhood so I leaned heavily on my female side. I'm pretty girly anyway and most think I'm gay. But, I read a book called How women think by a clinical pyschologist and it all made sense to me who I really was inside and why I think like a woman (a female penpal of mine calls me Rachel and always says she thinks I'm a girlfriend). I was already what I desired in my mind, heart and soul.

The transition part might and might not complete me. I can always dress up, which I do sometimes. I already wear foundation, paint my names blue to support sex abuse victims (the painted nails leads to lots of convos), wear panties, etc. I'm just not out.

I like women, but I like men, just not attracted to many men. I like girly men like me, and prefer transgender, whether transitioned or not. They are just so hard to find.

But, nice to meet everyone and hope to chat more.

Rachel

Welcome to Susan's.

Age isn't a factor when it comes to transitioning, many have started hormones in their 60's and done well. I'm not sure what age you think is too old, but there isn't any really.

Hi Rachel 🙋‍♀️ Welcome to Susan's Place!  I'm Jessica.
It is never too late to do what you want.  The fact that you've felt this way since 3 1/2 years old tells me you already started.
There is a wide range of transitioning and no one set way we all need to follow.  Dressing and spirit of mind is all some need.
I see you're new here, so I'll post some links that may help you get better acquainted with the site. Pay attention to the site rules they can be of great help and don't forget the link highlighted red.  It has answers to questions that are commonly asked.  Then join in on a topic you find interesting and learn and share.

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Hi Rachel 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hi Rachel!


    Welcome!     



Chrissy

Hi Rachel,

Welcome to Susan's Place. I agree with Jessica...you can transition at any age. There are many on here who didn't start their transitions until their 60s or 70s. I also thought I was too old at 50 to do anything about letting the real me come out. But with their support I know I can successfully do it at my current age and I'm thrilled about it.

Good Luck to you dear, 

xoxo

Lexxi

Thanks, everyone for the warm welcome!

I'd love to transition. Financially, I just don't have that kind of money. One day, soon, I will, but I'm happy just being a woman inside and pushing my girly side as far as it can go. I live in the south and they are not too understanding of LGBT where I live. The only ones I tell are basically trusted friends, most of which are gay or lesbian. Being seen as a flame (LOL) is easier than trans where I live. I have a fabulous imagination and when I look in the mirror, all I see is Rachel.

If people would pay attention, they'd see Rachel. I wear my name around my neck, my car has Rachel license plates, I changed my name to a female name legally. I wear a lot of pink. Some have figured it out over the years. My brother is very understanding. One woman friend I told said, "That makes sooo much sense. You're so easy to talk to and I couldn't put my finger on why. You're not gay, but you're not straight."

It's cool some of you have transitioned in your 50s and 60s. I hope you all enjoy it very much.

Like I tell people, "it matters what's on the inside. If you are happy on the inside, you'll be happy with the outside, no matter what it looks like." I totally live by that. And, you are never limited by your imagination.

Rachel,

I totally understand where you're coming from in regards to attitudes in the southern states. I live very close to Louisville, KY. It's not as bad here because we're a college town, but it's not particularly good either. Some of our biggest attacks come from conservative politicians. Indiana even removed protections for us trans folks. Which it totally ridiculous in the 21st century.

Hang in there! I'm glad you have friends in the LBGTQ community where you live that you can talk to. Sadly I don't have any friends like that...yet. I discovered a support group for trans women that meets once a month and I'm going to start going. I hope they'll accept me though, because I'm not out publicly yet. I don't want them to just see me as some big "guy" who shows up. Only time will tell.

xoxo

Lexxi

Quote from: Lexxi on May 26, 2019, 07:47:01 AM
Rachel,

I totally understand where you're coming from in regards to attitudes in the southern states. I live very close to Louisville, KY. It's not as bad here because we're a college town, but it's not particularly good either. Some of our biggest attacks come from conservative politicians. Indiana even removed protections for us trans folks. Which it totally ridiculous in the 21st century.

Hang in there! I'm glad you have friends in the LBGTQ community where you live that you can talk to. Sadly I don't have any friends like that...yet. I discovered a support group for trans women that meets once a month and I'm going to start going. I hope they'll accept me though, because I'm not out publicly yet. I don't want them to just see me as some big "guy" who shows up. Only time will tell.

xoxo

Lexxi

Lexxi,

Thank you. Yes, like you, I choose safety over being who I am in public. Few care if you're a flame, but sickos get interested if you're trans. Most women are probably understanding. Guys, not so much unless they are gay. Just my experience. Lots of violence out there against T Girls. I know one that is extremely passable and she never has any problems. But, she started in her teens transitioning. Still, she says she's careful.

Passable really matters a lot.

Florida has no protections for LGBT really. So, I feel your pain in Indiana removing them.

Love,
Rachel
xo