I'm 17, and only recently opened up about my true gender feelings to my Mum. My sister already knew since I was about 15. I'm a girl trapped in a boys body and I can't handle it much longer!
I read all these stories about people starting hormone therapy at very young ages and I feel I'm too late. I'm already inside a grown 100% body that isn't me. Big feet, tall, wide shoulders and bodily hair everywhere.... My appointment is on tuesday with a private clinic to SPEAK about my feelings. Thing is I have known about the feelings all my life, since I was maybe as young as 5. I don't want the time until I start making a difference to be ages away. I hope these people give in on tuesday and help me start doing something.. I'm severly unhappy, but great at acting and have hid my emotions well. I really see no future in myself now. but I feel I'm oging to keep growing and growing, until I'm a massive monster of a human being ;_; I just want to floor to open up and swallow me whole

Hi Jem. It's not too late, hon. You're still very young. HRT works wonders. You have a future. Just relax, hon. It'll work out.
Are your folks on board with this?

Hello Jemw,

Never EVER feel alone with this, we have all had this feeling and understand you.  It is very important to not succumb to pressure from anyone, be it parent or teacher or friend, to prevent you from folowing what may in fact be a genetic instinct to live your life as a female.

The earlier you prevent the male hormones taking effect and damaging you, the better.  Not a disaster if not, but best if dealt with as soon as possible, oestrogens work best if Testosterone is diminished and a male body makes it in massive quantities. You arte young, so best deal with it quickly before it becomes a problem.  Never tool ate, but leave it long enough, it becomes harder to deal with and probably more expensive 

Hi Jem,

      It's not too late.  Believe it or not, the body keeps changing for years after you're 17. 
      Don't act for anyone, though.  Be open and honest otherwise you'll give the impression that you have something to hide.  You can't trick anyone.  They have to see the real you.

      Even if it doesn't happen immediately, it will happen.


Rebis

Jem:

First off, the masulinizing effects of testosterone actually last well into the twenties, so stopping now will have more of an effect than you think, really.

Also the feminizing effects of estrogen can be very strong when you are younger and actually reverse some of the soft tissue development.  You really are not too late.  Take it from an *old* woman of 55!  I started HRT just about 18 months ago and it still had quite an effect on me!  You'll be fine.

I don't know what part of the world you are from, but if you are in the United States, the standard process of going on HRT is to see a therapist for at least three months, then that therapist would write a letter for you to an endocrinologist indicating that the therapist feels that you are a transsexual and a good candidate for hormone replacement therapy.  The endo will run a blood test on you to make sure that you are healthy enough for HRT and then start you on a regimen of lower doses of anti-androgens and estrogen.  Then after about three months run the blood test again and see how your body is responding to the feminizing effects of HRT.  As time goes along the endo may recommend higher levels of estrogen.  In a really short period of time after starting HRT, you will start to notice feminizing effects such as body hair start to thin and some breast tenderness and swelling.  As time goes along these effects will become more pronounced and such things as your libido will be effected, you will lose muscle mass, your testicles will start to shrink and spontaneous erections will happen less often.

Among the things the endo will check for in the tests are liver function, testosterone and estrogen levels.

Please Jem, don't give up hope.  It sounds like you are actually in a pretty good condition.  If you have come out to your parents and your sister already knows, than you really have gotten over the hard part!  Acceptance can be the most difficult thing to achieve so if you are starting out with that you will find that going forward will be easier to do.

And you have all your friends here to support you, so anytime you need help, just call!

-Sandy

Told my dad fully today what was up. I asked him to come over to my mum's (where I live) and he sat down. I didn't really need to say much, he said he had a pretty good idea whats up with me. I asked him what he thought, in worry it was going to be something like 'its ok to be gay' etc. But he said he knew about my appointment at the place I'm going to on tuesday and then said he knew I wasn't happy in myself. He said he would love and support me whatever. I burst into tears after getting my head around what was going on and he told me to go make a cup of tea for me and him.
I really didn't think it was going to be like this, I had so many horrible scenarios in my head for what was going to happen today... but it went perfect and I'm still trying to get over the shock of the situation. I had no idea my Dad was so understanding.
He's now going with me to the appointment this tuesday. I'm so happy to have some mobile support (my mum is disabled), he promised to help me through everything and take me places. He is even taking time off work to come. I'm not really sad or happy at the moment, I don't know what I'm feeling... major relief/shock maybe...

good for you!!!!!!!!!!!

That's absolutely brilliant Jemw, well done for talking to him, that must have been really difficult.

Quote from: jemw on April 20, 2008, 12:15:52 PM
Told my dad fully today what was up. I asked him to come over to my mum's (where I live) and he sat down. I didn't really need to say much, he said he had a pretty good idea whats up with me. I asked him what he thought, in worry it was going to be something like 'its ok to be gay' etc. But he said he knew about my appointment at the place I'm going to on tuesday and then said he knew I wasn't happy in myself. He said he would love and support me whatever. I burst into tears after getting my head around what was going on and he told me to go make a cup of tea for me and him.
I really didn't think it was going to be like this, I had so many horrible scenarios in my head for what was going to happen today... but it went perfect and I'm still trying to get over the shock of the situation. I had no idea my Dad was so understanding.
He's now going with me to the appointment this tuesday. I'm so happy to have some mobile support (my mum is disabled), he promised to help me through everything and take me places. He is even taking time off work to come. I'm not really sad or happy at the moment, I don't know what I'm feeling... major relief/shock maybe...

Jem:

You are loved!  It will be alright.  This will be the most exciting time of your life.  Enjoy it!

-Sandy

Jem that is absolutely brilliant it truely is!

Jem, that's great about your parents,

Would you believe I only just told my parents and I am, well you can guess but be kind, lol.
All will go well you have youth on your side.

hugs

Nigella

Dearest Jem,

That is great news about your family.  Now is the time to strike while the iron is hot.

Go for girlfriend.  Enjoy the ride and just be yourself.  Don;t wait like I did until you're 50 something.

Love
Janet