Quote from: Jessica_K on April 28, 2024, 01:10:25 AMWhen I look back at my long life I see how much I have missed out on because I was not born with the right body.

I read lots of posts by trans women who say they wish they'd been born female.

Not to say that they are wrong when it comes to themselves, but I don't feel that way about myself.  There was all kinds of stuff I suffered because I was assigned male but didn't fit in the box society tried to make me fit into, but I don't believe it would have been a lot better if I'd been assigned female -- it would have been different, but probably not any less awful.  The world I grew up in had rigid ideas of what boys and girls had to be and treated anyone who didn't fit in pretty harshly.

I have a younger sister, and while I don't think they were quite as brutal with her (though I may have missed some stuff since she was 9 years younger), people still treated her like something was wrong with her.  And there still seems to be a conflict in her between how she believes she is supposed to be and who she really is inside, though I don't think she's ever faced up to it.  Twenty years ago I realized that I had to deal my own version of this or I would soon be dead, and that ultimately lead to my transitioning.

Actually, I think if I'd been assigned female at birth, I would have been a very different person.  The years of living as male were horrible, but dealing with that has given me a depth of understanding about myself and even (to some extent) other people that I don't think I would have had if I'd grown up in a role more compatible with my nature.  There's stuff I see that my cis friends, even the more insightfull ones, don't see.  (Of course, sometimes that reinforces my feeling that I'm not really human )

Quote from: Asche on May 06, 2024, 06:13:08 AMActually, I think if I'd been assigned female at birth, I would have been a very different person.  The years of living as male were horrible, but dealing with that has given me a depth of understanding about myself and even (to some extent) other people that I don't think I would have had if I'd grown up in a role more compatible with my nature.  There's stuff I see that my cis friends, even the more insightfull ones, don't see.  (Of course, sometimes that reinforces my feeling that I'm not really human )

I agree with this so much. The world was a much different place when I was growing up. Being cast in a male role taught me things from experiences that were not available to women. I was a Tank Master Gunner in the Army. Combat jobs were not available to women until recently. I learned how to be strong mentally and physically.

Had I been female the abuse I went through would have been far more traumatizing. I still pine for things I did not get to experience like being a girl and learning about clothes, hairstyles, and makeup. But I can learn those now. I wish I had more time to spend enjoying it. I am not immortal yet.

I can't help but think there is a reason for my life unfolding as it has. I can accept that.

Yes.

Quote from: Asche on May 06, 2024, 06:13:08 AMActually, I think if I'd been assigned female at birth, I would have been a very different person.  The years of living as male were horrible, but dealing with that has given me a depth of understanding about myself and even (to some extent) other people that I don't think I would have had if I'd grown up in a role more compatible with my nature.  There's stuff I see that my cis friends, even the more insightfull ones, don't see.  (Of course, sometimes that reinforces my feeling that I'm not really human )

I feel the same, If were born female at birth, my childhood would have being way different. At school I would have participated more. My children was spent hiding in total shyness. When Noleen came out, that all changed, I was outgoing.

My adult life, would imagine wouldfollow a similar path, the only real change, I would have being able to give birth to my kids. That is something, I would love to be able to give my husband, a child. We have adopted and I love my kids, but I would love to be able to experience being pregnant.

I'm still on the UK NHS waiting list for first appointment (6 years) took matters into my own hands a long time ago cancelling sky subscription and eating out less was enough to pay for private care to start hormones

Moving to The Netherlands and milking their insurance system for the 2 lots of surgery was difficult but very fruitful in results (although wish had had the time to wait to have had more depth but not worth risk ending up back in UK with no surgery at all)

I don't notice the difference that much and neither do any of my friends, I have the same personality which I guess was always feminine leaning.  I also have an extremely fast learning curve and as such take everything in my stride (I don't stride anymore ladies don't do that). I'm just me, now in the right body


Obviously I only had the surgery so I could get access to single-sex spaces and this access has been disappointing it still involves me being shy and averting my eyes whilst everyone else is whipping each other with towels naked!!!!

can't get used to lady bits smell mind you

I got size B breasts which aren't shaped great, no changes to hips or bum, I gained some belly weight, I am top heavy with size 16 top and 12 lower but my hair is fantastic and love combing it everyday

I have zero libido which I guess I don't mind but was expecting something based on other peoples stories

Thanks

Carla

I am having some transition related difficulties which I am currently discussing with my gender therapist.  I never thought I would ever be this particular discombobulated situation but I am working through it. 

Chrissy

Hopefully, you will get over this speed bump and someday look back thinking it was nothing.

Hang tough, Chrissy. You got this!

Hugs

Yes I am thrilled at having transitioned. My only regret was waiting for so long because I didn't think I was "trans" enough to transition.

I'd like to think I am exiting the transition phase of things, meaning I think I'm done doing anything to further any sorts of changes and now I'm just living. Obviously I will continue with my hormones but I don't have any other surgeries planned or hoped for. I'm working really hard with my therapist to be happy with what I've got, even though it may not match with every transition end goal that I crossed my fingers for.

I live, love, and work as me and that makes me a very lucky girl, so yes, I am very happy to have transitioned. I am also very grateful that I have been able to have the transition that I have had.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on May 29, 2024, 03:26:51 PMI am having some transition related difficulties which I am currently discussing with my gender therapist.  I never thought I would ever be this particular discombobulated situation but I am working through it. 

Chrissy

Hang in there Chrissy, you'll get through it girl. I know you will.

Paulie.

Quote from: Nadine Spirit on May 29, 2024, 05:18:39 PMYes I am thrilled at having transitioned. My only regret was waiting for so long because I didn't think I was "trans" enough to transition.

I'd like to think I am exiting the transition phase of things, meaning I think I'm done doing anything to further any sorts of changes and now I'm just living. Obviously I will continue with my hormones but I don't have any other surgeries planned or hoped for. I'm working really hard with my therapist to be happy with what I've got, even though it may not match with every transition end goal that I crossed my fingers for.

I live, love, and work as me and that makes me a very lucky girl, so yes, I am very happy to have transitioned. I am also very grateful that I have been able to have the transition that I have had.

I suppose we all exit the transition phase somewhere down the line. what that is, well would depend on what your goals were when you started transitioning. The word transition implies starting at a point and ending somewhere.

For me, it was after I had bottom surgery, after that I considered myself a fully transitioned female. I see myself as a woman, physically I have a female body, society treats me as a woman, legally female and mentally I am female. I dont see myself as a transwoman, I see myself as a woman.

I'm very happy with who I was prior to starting HRT.  I've done a lot of things I don't think I'd have done if I had transitioned too much sooner than I had.  Maybe 5 years sooner would have worked out.  I'm also happy with the progress I've made in the time I've been on HRT.

Paulie.

I am still working through some issues but I am hopeful things will become clearer as to how to proceed.


Chrissy

Hi Chrissy

You mentioned in your post above:

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on June 01, 2024, 08:23:22 AMI am still working through some issues but I am hopeful things will become clearer as to how to proceed.

I hope you are able to sort out those issues that will finally give you the peace and contentment you deserve.  Take care and best wishes for the future and remember I'm with you in spirit.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

Hi Everyone

The question Chrissy asked was the following:

Are you happy you MTF transitioned, you have changed your life around to whatever extend you have?

There were only two things stopping me.  Facial hair and surgery were the only two obstacles and I took care of them as soon as possible.  So, the answer is a resounding, YES.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

As I described it to a friend over breakfast the other day...

It's a 1,000 page book, I'm probably on around page 152... but I am unquestionably as happy as I've ever been in my life.  So, so far, so good.

And zero regrets at not having done it earlier or any of that. We are where we are, when we are supposed to be there. Anyway, nothing we can do about that anyway... so not worth spending any time worrying or fretting about it.

Transition was necessary for me to have a life worth living.

This is a question I find hard to answer. Am I happy I am transitioning? Yes and no. I am happy that I have found me and can be content with the decisions I am making to express and make the changes to affirm who I am. But knowing what I am inevitably going to lose in the wake of this does sadden me. I know that I have this deep ache in inside of me that says move forward  and don't look back regardless of those you may lose or the things you will have to give up. But these are also some of the things that have made me who I am over the years. I have thought of these things for many hours over the past few months.

I still am very content in my decision to transistion to the woman I am.

Quote from: Annaliese on April 25, 2025, 09:38:40 AMYes and no. I am happy that I have found me and can be content with the decisions I am making to express and make the changes to affirm who I am. But knowing what I am inevitably going to lose in the wake of this does sadden me.

I am sort of the same. I am happy that I decided to transition. I am disappointed that the services I think I need (and that are recommended by my healthcare team) are not available here. Hence, my reason for moving out of state.

But I do not sense any sort of loss. The people who are unsupportive of me, I do not miss. The people who do are still with me. The experiences that I had before transitioning made me who I am, so they are still with me (good and bad). I am not one to dwell on the past, especially because much of it depresses me. I choose to look forward with hope that things will be better. And that keeps me moving forward.

Everything in the Universe is in motion, so if you are not moving forward, in which direction are you going? Fortunately, we can choose which direction we want to go. There is a reason that cars have a large windshield in the front and a small rearview mirror. It's okay to look back from time to time, but you aren't going that way. What is important is what lies ahead. 

Quote from: spidersandciders on April 25, 2025, 09:06:42 AMTransition was necessary for me to have a life worth living.

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