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Do you pass or not?

Started by Priya, March 04, 2018, 01:10:54 PM

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ChrissyRyan

Yes and no.  Ah, so it goes.  But it is nice to be treated as a woman regardless.

Christine
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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becca.anne

From the next down I would show as a little chunky. Otherwise No.
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Maid Marion

My conversations have certainly changed since I've been presenting as a woman, even when I'm talking to a receptionist at an office who knows I'm AMAB.
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EllenW

Since I have never been accosted and no one has ever asked me directly I would have to say that I pass, either that or they do not care. Yes, people know but that is because they knew me as <deadname> or I have told.

Ellen
2018 - Full Time
2019 - Legal Name and Gender Change
2021 - MDV GCS with Dr. Ng (UCLA)
2021 - BA
2023 - PPT Vaginoplasty with Dr, Gupta
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ChrissyRyan

If I always male fail I would be delighted.  Not so; but, I have for awhile now been content for what I have.  I wish I was prettier, but with another birthday arriving soon that wish may be a forever wish. 

The secret is contentment.

Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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ChrissyRyan

Not a couple hours earlier at a cosmetics store.  So be it.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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Oldandcreaky

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on May 14, 2024, 08:09:48 PMNot a couple hours earlier at a cosmetics store.  So be it.


I'm sorry to read this, Chrissy. Do you mind sharing what happened?
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ChrissyRyan

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on May 14, 2024, 08:18:03 PMI'm sorry to read this, Chrissy. Do you mind sharing what happened?

Nothing tragic.  Just some "knowing smirks" and quiet giggles by a clerk.  I believe this was a spontaneous reaction.  No harm I suppose.  This was rather mild on the scale of "not making my day."

May your day be very nice tomorrow!

Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: MaryT

Sweet luck

Unfortunately, completely not passing 😞
I'm always trying to look more feminine, but in my country nobody recognizes me as a female. I have done more than 20-25 full electroepilation procedures on my face, being a few months on HRT (T<0.5 ng/ml, E =98 pg/ml), train my voice regularly. My hair has grown below my shoulders already. I'm not so tall (177sm) and not obese. I have already small, but visible grown up breasts (smth between 0 and 0.5 size). Regularly everyday train my body (yoga, fintess, cycling) and following balanced nutrition diet. But anyway nothing brings me closer to feminine look :(((

So what do you think is the proper way to get the pass? Vast FFS with BA?

Lori Dee

You are doing the right things by staying healthy and allowing the HRT to do its work. I have not had FFS or BA. I did have eye surgery for drooping eyelids and the plastic surgeon did a brow lift and cheek lift at the same time. But it was not considered FFS.

You don't need to jump right to surgery. I asked my surgeon about breast implants and he said he won't do them until the breasts have stopped growing. I am 66 years old, but because I am on HRT, growth is still ongoing and I would have to wait to have that surgery.

You can wear padded push-up bras or even breast forms to enhance your top. Dress in feminine clothing, but be subtle. Look at what others are wearing in your area and adopt their style if possible.

Makeup and jewelry are a big help. Earrings, necklaces, and bracelets that have thin chains or a feminine theme (think hearts, flowers, etc.). With makeup, a little goes a long way. I wear a bit of eyeliner and pink lipstick. Avoid extreme colors like red, blue, or black. Nail polish is another good thing. Using just a few of these and being subtle will send the subconscious cues of femininity and you can pass.

Too often I see women wearing formal dresses to business meetings with too much bright makeup and they look like drag queens. Nothing wrong with drag, but it may not be appropriate for a business meeting or reading to children in a library. The best way to pass is not to stand out screaming "I AM A WOMAN!" The best way is to be subtle and blend in with how other women look.

I hope this helps. Keep reading posts on the forum, as others have shared their tips and advice too. We even have a Beauty sub-forum that might interest you.
My Life is Based on a True Story
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete

Sweet luck

Dear Lori Dee, really thankful for your warm supporting words and precious recommendations ❤️ I will have a look how my body will change through HRT, but in my case I guess ffs inevitable way. Because I have prominent eyebrows and massive jaw, which couldn't be just fixed without bones work. But maybe  after longer HRT therapy I will change my mind about ffs.
As for wearing dresses and women's accessories, it is impossible. I'm afraid to attract to much attention which is unsafe(( So I wear unisex and want to switch for the feminine style softly.

Lori Dee

What works for you is what works! That is most important.

HRT, especially estradiol, causes body fat distribution. Many of us have experienced this in less muscle definition, softer skin, and softening of facial features. I look more like my mother than my father now after four years on HRT. Just be patient and see how things go. Don't assume you need something yet. It's still too early to tell.
My Life is Based on a True Story
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete
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Selene858

No lol

I kinda pass from a distance I think by what others have said about me but I'm most cases absolutely not

I'm always sird or don't get pronouns

When I'm in liberal neighborhoods like downtown or Hillcrest I get sir or ma'am like people just don't know and don't want to offend me
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ChrissyRyan

Selene,


Do watch your walking.  Practice it.  I am not talking about swaying your rear.  Not.  Forget about high heels for the moment also.

I am thinking about taking shorter steps but also having it look natural.  In the passing sub form there should be posts about walking, stride, posture, and gesticulations.

Chrissy
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

NatalieRene

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on January 01, 2025, 04:32:50 PMSelene,


Do watch your walking.  Practice it.  I am not talking about swaying your rear.  Not.  Forget about high heels for the moment also.

I am thinking about taking shorter steps but also having it look natural.  In the passing sub form there should be posts about walking, stride, posture, and gesticulations.

Chrissy


Yes walking with your knees close together with short steps is important.

Another important factor is how you handle your arms and hands while walking. I don't know if you have a female carrying angle or not but even so woman tend to have their hands go in a diagonal direction instead of a front to back because of the mechanics of it. You might try to emulate the movement if you can.

When standing still a crossed leg stance that takes up as little space as possible is a natural position.
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Lori Dee

Quote from: NatalieRene on January 24, 2025, 06:25:26 PMAnother important factor is how you handle your arms and hands while walking.

Males tend to sway their shoulders with their arms moving front/back. Keep your shoulders steady, and feet closer together, take shorter steps, and the movement just transfers from the shoulders to the hips. It's not an obvious runaway model exaggeration. Keep your elbows tucked in at your side but let your arms swing. They will swing diagonally as Natalie pointed out. Instead of having your wrist facing toward your body, turn them slightly forward as they swing. Practice this so that it comes naturally. If you have a mirror or large window where you can see your reflection, you will see what I mean.

Don't exaggerate your movements. Women tend to look relaxed as they walk. I enjoy people-watching at the mall and noticing how people walk. I learned a lot from it.
My Life is Based on a True Story
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete

ChrissyRyan

People watching can be quite instructional.

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

Sometimes they may be watching you too!
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

ChrissyRyan

Indoor shopping malls are a good place to get a walk in on cold days, plus you can people watch.
Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Lori Dee

Ages ago, in Germany, my girlfriend (later spouse, then ex-) and I would hang out at a Discoteque. I am not a dancer, but I enjoy watching people who are good at it. We had a game when people-watching where we would think about what animal certain people looked like. The more we drank the funnier it got.

Two women friends of ours came in and grabbed a table near ours. Their conversation was quite animated with head bobs and hand gestures. Both were wearing the 80s Big Hair style. We started laughing, looked at each other, and said, "Birds!"
My Life is Based on a True Story
Veteran U.S. Army - SSG (Staff Sergeant) - M60A3 Tank Master Gunner
2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2019- 2nd Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change
/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete
  • skype:.?call
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    The following users thanked this post: Lilis, MaryT