Quote from: Gina P on June 02, 2024, 07:54:18 AMI started out with a small clutch. Then as I found I wanted to carry more with me, and also had my confidence a little higher, got a bigger one. Still in the mid size range. I have seen some women carrying things that would rival my carry on luggage.

Yes, maybe these words will come back to haunt me - but this small size is all I think I'll ever need. 🤞

Uh, don't they say that about a lot of things. 

I started with a clutch, but like Gina, I decided I needed to carry more stuff. Found a nice medium-size handbag by Elda. It has TEN pockets. Even the zippered pockets have pockets! So now I carry a pocketbook, glasses case, tissues, lipstick, etc. I have a clip on my keyring so I can clip my keys to the ring that attaches to the strap. No more digging for keys.

Hey Allie!

Allow me to slip into my blue vest and welcome you to social transition. You know-- you get to figure out everything-- what bag you carry, your style, why pointy shoes suck, and if you miss pockets or not. It is fun, if you let it be.

For the record, I use one of a few mid-size over the shoulder bags for every day. For summer I am using a very bright blue patterned Vera Bradley. I just bought a second cross-body bag; when I am out-and-around all day a smaller cross body works better for me. The second is just a hair larger (and a little more colorful) than the first. I want a little extra space for a phone.

Have fun on your trip.

~Jenn

Thanks all! It was quite a fun (long!) day today... our first full day. And as for the transition stuff? Well, it's all so much easier when you have an expert "handler" like I do. 😂😘

We started the day visiting my cousin (the Lincoln Memorial - Abe is a cousin on my mom's side), and then walked around the reflecting pool to the WW II memorial and then onto the Holocaust Museum which neither of us had ever visited. It's all everyone says it is, although I must say the crowds (even on a Sunday morning) make it a bit harder to appreciate. Still, a must visit for anyone coming to DC for sure.

We went to lunch at this little Vietnamese place I had found that was supposed to have some of the best Pho in the city and it didn't disappoint. Was it as good as what we have at home? No... but it was authentic and really good (and we were both starving).

We then went to do some shopping. TJ Maxx to get me the aforementioned handbag.

After a walk back to the hotel and a much needed rest for the one of us suffering from daily migraines... we set out for what turned out to be a top-five dinner for us, at Jose Andres' Bazaar. We did this tasting menu that was... just incredible. Our kind of stuff. Lots of one and two bite items, playful, really high quality ingredients, creative presentations... and when it's over you're not stuffed... but you really can't imagine eating anything again for a while.

And as we got ready to go, my wife grabbed my wrist and put on one of her bracelets. First time I'd worn one of those. Also the first time wearing earrings (clip on), and carrying my bag. So it was was pretty special. The photo of the two of us at the restaurant came out really nice (at least that's what my sisters thought!)

But it was, by far the longest day yet in "girl mode" - nearly 12 hours. And it will be topped tomorrow when we start at 8 am and go through 10 or 11 pm.

Lots of "can I help you ladies?" today which is nice. As mentioned, I have doubts as to whether any of that is sincere... but what does it matter? It's nice regardless.

My "handler" gave me some other good tips as well. When we got up at a Metro stop, I stood and waited for my wife to get up and exit before I did, as I've done for the 40 years since we met.  To which she then said "You don't do that anymore. Just get up and go.. waiting for me to go first is a guy mode thing." 

But mostly we laughed and smiled and sweated (never forget, DC is a SWAMP) and had a lovely time. And mostly I forgot about anything to do with transition. Except when the wind blew and I had hair in my face. That was a thing.

Ok...exhausted from the long day. Going to the zoo first thing in the morning. 😘

Love to all,
Allie

What a wonderful adventure!

Sounds like you are getting used to this whole girl mode thing. It's so nice to be able to focus your attention on something other than your own appearance. Good for you. Oh one more tip: Let the guys open the door for you. The elderly and veterans are my exception. I will always open the door for them.

By the way, felt a bit guilty doing the tell without showing thing... so just a small selection of pics from the multi-course tapas tasting menu at Bazaar:




First up are a few "snacks". That's a caviar cone, with creme fraishe, and olives two ways... the first are "traditional" with anchovy and horseradish, and the second are "liquid" olives.



This is the dragonfruit ceviche. It had passion fruit, pecans, avacado and cobia - which was described to us as a cross between swordfish and Chilean sea bass. It was delicious!




We both will dream of this one. This is the Wagyu "cheesesteak" It is thin sliced wagyu beef, on top of airbread, filled with a rich cheddar cheese sauce which pours out when you bite into it. Messy in the way a cheesesteak should be, but playful and elevated.




The little bulldog? He held up a plate of delicious one-bite desserts. There's a s'mores bite, a chocolate truffle, a strawberry jelly, a white chocoate covered vanilla and raspberry ice cream ring, and ... something else I forget. All yummy.

and I think that was about 1/4 of the meal. Seriously.

Yum!

Quote from: Jenn104 on June 02, 2024, 05:26:12 PMHey Allie!

Allow me to slip into my blue vest and welcome you to social transition. You know-- you get to figure out everything-- what bag you carry, your style, why pointy shoes suck, and if you miss pockets or not. It is fun, if you let it be.

For the record, I use one of a few mid-size over the shoulder bags for every day. For summer I am using a very bright blue patterned Vera Bradley. I just bought a second cross-body bag; when I am out-and-around all day a smaller cross body works better for me. The second is just a hair larger (and a little more colorful) than the first. I want a little extra space for a phone.

Have fun on your trip.

~Jenn

Hey Jenn -

Thanks!

And for the record - since I've been wearing exclusively women's pants for months now, I've made peace with the no pockets thing... but it does, indeed, stink. But of course that has just led to me to asking my wife to "hold these for me" more often than not, with regard to phone, keys, etc...so she's VERY happy with today's handbag purchase on so many levels.

As for pointy shoes? These flat, larg(ish) feet will likely spend most of their time nestled in a brightly colored pair of Hokas... although I did don a pair of Slip-Ons for dinner tonight that were comfortable enough for the 10-15 minute walk. But anything more would have been pushing it.

But pointy? Or heels, or even walking around on a non-beach in sandals? That's just not compatible with my current equipment. And I don't believe the first "f" in FFS stands for "foot". So I'm out of luck!

I have paddles for feet, UK size 9 but extra wide. Daughter has same shape feet but size 6 and she has a job finding shoes wide enough. Women's shoes only go up to 8 here but there are places to get larger sizes.
 Have you got a ladies purse to go in your handbag yet? You dont want to be pulling out a mans wallet at the mall!!

Quote from: davina61 on June 03, 2024, 03:07:39 AMI have paddles for feet, UK size 9 but extra wide. Daughter has same shape feet but size 6 and she has a job finding shoes wide enough. Women's shoes only go up to 8 here but there are places to get larger sizes.
 Have you got a ladies purse to go in your handbag yet? You dont want to be pulling out a mans wallet at the mall!!

Yea, that was one of the things my wife clued me into as well yesterday and we picked one up as well. 

Yes, I need to get a ladies purse!

I've been wearing size 7 leather sandals with 4inch heels around the house!
I can do that after lots of practice with 2 inch heels.

QuoteI have doubts as to whether any of that is sincere.

Allie, every single time you air self-doubt, you hear it again, which fosters more self-doubt. Are people doing double-takes? Whispering? Clearly uncomfortable? Sneering "Sir" at you? If not, you're fine.

As far as pockets, all my pants have pockets. Pockets atop pockets because they're Duluth Trading Company's water-wicking pants.

What splendid food you enjoyed!

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on June 03, 2024, 08:47:09 AMAllie, every single time you air self-doubt, you hear it again, which fosters more self-doubt. Are people doing double-takes? Whispering? Clearly uncomfortable? Sneering "Sir" at you? If not, you're fine.

What splendid food you enjoyed!

Heard.

No double takes, no whispering, no one uncomfortable. I've always been, and continue to be, someone who makes eye contact.. and smiles given get smiles in return... all is good. We get "ladies" everywhere, and my wife thinks it's legit as I both look and with the occasional tweaks/kicks from her, act the part well.

So I think my hesitation stems not from my current predicament — it is not possible for me to be more comfortable in my skin than I currently am — but from my past. I think having spent so long as a grossly overweight person... even one who was in some small ways accomplished, held in decent regard by some, known for having a big, warm personality, sense of humor, blah blah blah...but when I walked into a room with STRANGERS, I knew knew KNEW all they saw was my size. Impossible to hide it. I could immediately work to give them something else to replace that thought by the aforementioned other stuff... but it was always making me self conscious.

And I had just gotten to the place where I'd lost all this weight and now I could be invisible. And as someone who felt their body was wrong, invisible is lovely. So now... in transition and being the real me .. and still I get to feel invisible? How great is that?

It should be (and is) amazing. And yet, I guess what I'm concerned with is — is my radar broken? Am I missing cues that used to be so obvious? Are there different cues now? Stuff like that?

So I don't think it's self-doubt about my transition per se, in terms of how people see me. It's more about worrying that has this process changed me and the way I interpret the world around me. All good if it has, it's just about learning to walk again, I guess... and these are the stumbles for me.

I deeply apologize to those who either do no follow this or think it utter hooey, I promise it makes sense to me. Somehow. 😂

Because that was such a ramble, I'll make a separate post about our day today.

Love,
Allie

This morning was spent at the National Zoo. My wife loves a good zoo.

I am agnostic when it comes to zoos. I know she loves them. Our son loved them when he was young... and so it's a wonderful place to take young kids to let them see incredible things while learning (shhhh!) about the world. All good. Plus, you know... monkeys!

Anyway, the zoo was great. Again, DC is a swamp, so it was hot. Got to try out the new handbag...so that was nice. Another day of wearing the hair in hot, humid climate and really feeling fine about it... which makes me feel even more ready for going full time.

Oh and when at the zoo, my wife always wants to take a few animal pics. I have been teaching myself card tricks — sleight of hand, that sort of thing. She is NOT impressed. But she has always been impressed by my photog skills, and she especially likes the way I'm able to take zoo pics and make them look like there wasn't glass or a cage or whatever.

So considering all she does for me (see...I don't know, every single post I've ever made here? 😘) I present exhibits A & B of making the wife happy today:

The Sand Cat and the Meercat




After the zoo we had lunch at a little, but excellent bbq place in the district. Kinda place where they carve up the meat in front of you... and when they run out they run out. Brisket was great, sides were great. All good.

It's great for DC... not up to the best we've ever had, you know. But darn good. 2Fifty bbq is the name. And certainly worth a visit if that's your thing.

Then tonight was the first of our three baseball games. Seeing our beloved Mets play the Nationals.

Only two little tidbits to note here. I was slightly self-conscious of my look for this. Because I was just wearing one of my Mets t-shirts... which is a men's, although many women do wear these. And although I had women's shorts on... other than my hair (under my Mets hat) there weren't any other overt cues I was able to use.

Couldn't carry a handbag (park policy)and no earrings (don't really have a clip on pair that screams "baseball game"). So I just said to my wife I just think I probably read like someone in that happy valley of (is it a he or she?) but not like someone trying to pass either way. So I was totally fine and comfortable.

When we asked someone to take our photo at the game, he did hand the phone back and said "here you go ladies"... at which time my wife elbowed me in the ribs. So, I took the win.

Oh and lastly? Mid game, a bird flying over the crowd, pooped directly on my arm.. Not a little tiny bit of poop either. Like "just ate a big meal" kinda deal.

I know that supposedly this is good luck. I consider myself a relatively lucky person by nature. So I feel, also being a generous soul, like this is a bit of luck I would have been perfectly fine if it has gone to someone else.

That's all. And just in under the wire. One min until cluster...

'Night!
Allie

Great to hear of your adventures... in DC and being out. Great pics. I am ambivalent about monkeys but big cats melt my heart. When you mentioned going to the zoo, and monkeys, I assumed you meant the Capitol. 

@imallie
Dear Allie:
Your wife is very correct, your photo skills as demonstrated when
viewing your "Zoo" pictures are exemplary. 
Very nice shots of the Sand Cat and the Meercat.

Thank you for posting and sharing of your Washington DC  day...

HUGS, and my continued best wishes to you.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]

Quote from: LoriDee on June 04, 2024, 12:36:30 AMGreat to hear of your adventures... in DC and being out. Great pics. I am ambivalent about monkeys but big cats melt my heart. When you mentioned going to the zoo, and monkeys, I assumed you meant the Capitol. 

So true!

We do disagree on the monkeys, though.  In fact, I've long had a saying, which I believe is a truism. I challenge people to dispute it:

"Everything is funnier with monkeys"

Seriously. Think of any situation. Add a monkey. It is inherently funnier. No exceptions.

It's so nice to be gendered correctly, isn't it Allie! After over a year being out it still feels good for me. So glad things are progressing smoothly for you.
Hugs Gina

Quote from: Gina P on June 04, 2024, 05:47:11 AMIt's so nice to be gendered correctly, isn't it Allie! After over a year being out it still feels good for me. So glad things are progressing smoothly for you.
Hugs Gina

Thanks Gina!

Yes, without a doubt it does!

I think what has surprised me (one of many things) is how other people gendering me correctly feels like a cherry on top, but seeing "me" in the mirror each morning as we set out is the whole sundae.

Quote from: imallie on June 04, 2024, 12:50:02 AMWe do disagree on the monkeys, though.  In fact, I've long had a saying, which I believe is a truism. I challenge people to dispute it:

"Everything is funnier with monkeys"

Seriously. Think of any situation. Add a monkey. It is inherently funnier. No exceptions.

You got me there. So true!
That reminded me, when in grade school, one of our teachers wrote this poem:

A Monkey's Indignation of Evolution

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they're said to be.
Said one to the others: "Now listen you two,
There's a certain rumour that can't be true
That man descended from our noble race –
Why, the very idea is a disgrace!

"No monkey ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life;
And you've never known a mother monk
Leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another
'Til they scarcely know who is their mother.

"And another thing you'll never see –
A monk build a fence round a coconut tree,
Forbidding all other monks to taste
And letting the coconuts go to waste.
Why! if I built a fence round a coconut tree
Starvation would force you to steal from me.

"Here's another thing a monk won't do:
Go out at night and get in a stew,
Or use a gun or club or knife
To take some monkey's wife or life.
Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss,
But brother he didn't descend from us!"