Sweet story of the day, which is only a little bit about transition.

Spent the morning at the EXCELLENT African American History Museaum here in Washington. So well executed, it's now our new favorite museum in DC. My wife's only complaint: "Why are there so few white people here?" Counting us.. I believe there were three.  She speculated that they were all at Air & Space, which is probably true, to which I said "well I bet those people don't live in the "air" or in "space"... so either museum should be informative.

Anyway... after museuming we went to lunch at Rasika, an Indian restaurant. Since we are Indian food neophytes I won't make any claims I can't back up. I'll just say this - before our trip we must have asked 6-8 friends and family who live in the area for an Indian food reccomendation for DC. Each on said virtually the same thing. "There's tons of great Indian places in DC. Go to Rasika."

So we did. (It was also featured on this season's Somebody Feed Phil if that helps you.

Anyway, the food was, to our tasting, spectacular. The Palak Chaat was particular memorable.

So too was the young lady who sat at the table next to us. She must have been our son's age, mid-20's. Dining alone, she had come up to DC to visit her best friend, but the friend was working. And she, the girl, was a huge fan of Indian food and had also heard pepole rave about this place.

She very politely got our attention and asked what we were eating because it looked delicious, and we got int a short pleasant conversation with her. A few minutes later we asked her to take our photo.

Throughout our meal we would just chat on occasion as each course of our tasting menu arrived. We learned she was from Arkansas, and that this was her first-ever trip to DC. And her friend was support to join her for lunch, since it's her birthday, but a work emergency interceded.

So instead they will meet for dinner, and so she still really wanted to try this place, so that's what brought her in. When her dish arrived she said it was the best she'd ever tasted, and she not only eats Indian often, she cooks it. She ate painstakingly slow, so as to savor it. And wondered if she could pack up any leftovers for her friend to try, would they survive a long return trip to her hotel.

Anyway, this all spurred my wife into action. She discussed her idea with me — I thought it was great — and she got up to use the restroom. While on that journey, she sought out our waiter and informed him that it was our neighbor's birthday, and could he please come up with whatever special dessert they do for such an occasion and put it on our tab.

We thought we might make it out of there before it arrived (don't do things like for "thank you.") but it came, and it was a beautiful little plate with several treats... and a candle. And the waiter indicated it was from us. Our neighbor thanked us profusely and started to cry.

Not only was this her birthday, but her first-ever birthday away from her parents... so I think this little act of kindness was very meaningful to her. My wife was in tears well. I was misty.

End of story.

There is a coda, however. On our post-lunch walk back to our hotel, I asked my wife "when the young woman tells this story to her friend tonight, what does she say? "Two really nice old ladies...."

My wife laughed, tugging at her gray hair. "No, she'll probably say this ONE old lady"...

"And her daughter," I added... getting an elbow and a laugh from my wife.

See, I told you it was just a little bit about transition.

Love,
Allie

What a vacation you're having, Allie. You're yourself! And with your best friend and wife! All that great grub and museums too. I'm so happy for you.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on June 04, 2024, 02:47:45 PMWhat a vacation you're having, Allie. You're yourself! And with your best friend and wife! All that great grub and museums too. I'm so happy for you.

Thank you, my friend! All true!!

You know the strangest thing, however? The being myself part? Right from the moment we walked out of that hair salon a few weeks ago, and up to, and especially living basically full-time on this trip... I am not really aware I'm doing it.

There's no "fake it 'til you make it', there's really no "do they or don't they?" (Sometimes at the end of the day I reflect on that stuff in a post-mortem, but never in the moment. Just from moment one it has feel like I've been doing this forever.

The things I can maybe be a bit self-conscious about, some obvious plumbing issues, some bone structure things, name/face not matching my license, etc... are all things I know that I can address and will in the near future, so they don't really slow us down.

My wife's theory is that we were ready, and that's why it's so easy.

My theory is that having her MAKES things so easy.

My therapist gives a great deal of the credit to my wife as well, but also says that the way we worked up to this... building a sturdy and tall foundation, allows us to put a lot of weight on it really quickly and easily.

Regardless, for US,it's working.

Oh... but I do need to amend my earlier statement: The ACTUAL strangest thing?... and I swear to God this is true... for the second night in a row... a bird pooped on me at the baseball game.

The odds of this happening are... incalculable. Believe me, I get how hilarious this is. We also have agreed that I must now be the luckiest person in the world, at least among the superstitious set.

When it hit me — on my back this time — I was talking my college roommate (first time he'd seen me as me — a complete non-issue) who joined us at the game. And as I felt it I cringed, turned to my wife (I was sitting between them) and said "A bird got me again!"

My friend pointed out that a million things can touch you on the shoulder... the fact that I knew instantly it was bird poop points to some real deep level PTSD.  And he is correct. No one should recognize that BY FEEL.

Anyway... other than THAT, another wonderful day!

Same for me, it just felt normal. No act just take me as I am. Things happen in threes ,maybe an umbrella hat?

Quote from: davina61 on June 05, 2024, 03:37:18 AMSame for me, it just felt normal. No act just take me as I am. Things happen in threes ,maybe an umbrella hat?

Happened to me when I was like 10-11 years old as well. I'm going to count that - so that hopefully this is all over.

I had to be vigilant when I was in the male role. Still, I made soooo many mistakes over the years. To be female, I simply had to relax.

I'm so happy for you, Allie. Shine, girl, shine.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on June 05, 2024, 08:29:28 AMI had to be vigilant when I was in the male role. Still, I made soooo many mistakes over the years. To be female, I simply had to relax.

I'm so happy for you, Allie. Shine, girl, shine.

Thanks!
And hadn't thought of it like that, but you're absolutely right. It's all about being relaxed.  Act natural and normal and you don't give off those "look at me!" pheromones!

Having my wife with me makes all that 95% easier. No question about it.  I think I'm more equipped to handle some things solo now, but not at the start. 

Another fun/eventful day in DC, as we start to wrap up our week here. One more full day tomorrow and then train back on Friday...

Lots of tidbits from today...

I believe it was Jenn who said a week or so ago about clip on earrings "there are only two kinds: the kinds that hurt and the kind that fall off." 😂. Well, the last few days have conclusively proven I have the former. My ears are quite sore after each bit of extended wear each day.  I know we had said we'd wait until my hair was bolted down in July to christen "full time" with piercings... but I think we might move that process up to next week just from a practical standpoint.  Why not? I think this feels like we've slipped into full time already.

... to that end, my wife revealed the family secret to her work friends and colleagues today. Well, at least to her core group of those close to her. Each and everyone one sent warm notes of support. Not that she was worried.

... had a pair of outstanding meals for those keeping track for future DC visits: D'Lena, an upscale Mexican spot for lunch. And Jose Andres' Mediterranean tapas spot, Zatinya, for dinner with my college roommate.


... watched a couple of videos and learned how to put on a headband. Was looking for an option to keep the hair out of my eyes in some situations, maybe just hanging around the house for example, but also might work in casual situations. My wife said it looks good,but not as good as my intended look, which frames my face better. But it serves a purpose!

.... Also learned what "eyebrow threading" is. We've driven by these places in various towns for years, and I always ask my wife what that is, and she has no idea. But now that I know - hard pass. Yes, I 100% know I need to get work done on my eyebrows... but I will start by seeing what options are available makeup-wise when I try the free Sephora consult.

... Lastly, I think I picked up my first tell today. We were seated at D'Lena when the waiter came over he said "Hello,Ladi....uh, how can I help you two?"  Food was excellent, as was the service. Could he really see through me? Who knows/cares. I'm just saying for the first time I may have picked up a sign. Either way, all good.



 

Yes to piercing. I haven't worn earrings for years, but I miss them and am thinking of getting my ears pierced again.

I had my eyebrows shaped decades ago with electrolysis and have never regretted it. No plucking!

I wear a baseball cap most days and stick my ponytail out the back. I don't know it that would work for a topper and a headband is more feminine anyway.

What a vacay you've had in D.C.!

Sorry about the server. I think it happens here and there to most of us. More and more time on E will mean less and less of that, as would FFS and perhaps most importantly of all, time in the role.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on June 06, 2024, 07:34:15 AMYes to piercing. I haven't worn earrings for years, but I miss them and am thinking of getting my ears pierced again.

I had my eyebrows shaped decades ago with electrolysis and have never regretted it. No plucking!

I wear a baseball cap most days and stick my ponytail out the back. I don't know it that would work for a topper and a headband is more feminine anyway.

What a vacay you've had in D.C.!

Sorry about the server. I think it happens here and there to most of us. More and more time on E will mean less and less of that, as would FFS and perhaps most importantly of all, time in the role.

Didn't even think about asking my electrologist about that. Obviously I do that weekly and it's a walk in the park for me.

And no worries about the server. I shared it here just so I wasn't only sharing sunshine and rainbows... but I commented on it to my wife, and then flushed it 30 seconds later. Didn't bother me.

Oh and yeah we've had a wonderful time. Baseball, great restaurants, museums, seeing friends, doing a lot of walking... our kind of trip!

Today was the final day of our trip. After only doing a few meals and outings before this trip, this was six straight days of being "me", full-time. It was great, natural.. and we quickly stopped noticing it being "a thing". Weirdly great. Will travel home in "guy mode"... but only because we're heading to the train station at 5 am and there's no need to get my hair on and shave that early for that.

Today was more touring around DC (including the US Postal Museum — a "hidden gem" according to my wife, a "sad, sad place to work" according to me), but we ended it with dinner at Causa. Causa is the top-ranked restaurant in DC. It earned a Michelin star last year, and is a Peruvian restaurant serving a Nikkei inspired menu. Nikkei is the style of Peruvian cuisine which is heavily inspired by imported Japanese influences. So it uses techniques and rare and luxurious ingredients from both cultures in incredible ways.

I know we've had discussions on this board before as to "is it worth it" to spend money for an extravagant meal. I wouldn't begin to make that decision for anyone. For us, treating ourselves to things like this on occasion is life-affirming. It's the intersection of art, great technique, and sensory delights.

This is supposedly a six-course tasting menu, but from the photos I will share, the first two pictures are "bonus bites" from the chef before the meal.. there was a palate cleanser of this incredibly tart/sweet and high proof ice (with the world's most expensive strawberry (from Japan, of course)... and then after the main dessert (the flower — which was based on Macambo, a Peruvian rare pod which tastes of white chocolate)...came those three other desserts which were amazing.. and then the little bag with a piece of orange almond cake for our breakfast tomorrow. *sigh*

So without further comment... here's what we ate as we concluded our trip. Oh one last thing. It really felt nice to get dressed up a bit, my wife sharing jewelry, and be treated so nicely for the evening.

I would feel bad chewing up such beautiful artwork. 

Whoa! That food. I...never....wow.

Quote from: LoriDee on June 07, 2024, 12:55:37 AMI would feel bad chewing up such beautiful artwork. 

You get over it. 😉

In all seriousness, though, you do take a moment with each dish to appreciate the work that goes into it. I mean, as each dish is served it comes with a 1-2 minute story. About the ingredients, the culture, the history of the dish, sometimes even the personal relationship between the presenter (sometimes a chef, sometimes a waiter) and a particular ingredient in the dish.

The common denominator is love and care for the source ingredients and the dish itself. It's what we really enjoy about meals like this and I wish everyone could experience it for themselves.

Love,
Allie

That is a wonderful experience... unless you are hungry and just want to wolf it down.
Shut up! nom nom nom 

Quote from: LoriDee on June 07, 2024, 10:44:46 AMThat is a wonderful experience... unless you are hungry and just want to wolf it down.
Shut up! nom nom nom 

Well, yeah there's that!

Of course, one of the perks of hearing those stories is knowing what to expect. Just looking at these dishes you wouldn't necessarily know what they were and what you were about to eat.

I don't know about you, but that is my weakness. I can get turned off by an odd texture... and since NO texture, when you think about it, is really that odd if you're expecting it — the description helps!!

Back from DC (and exhausted)...

We needed to go grab dinner when we got home (waaaaay too tired to do grocery shopping today/tonight!), so we decided to go to our favorite spot... and so I figured it was as good a time as any to check THAT off the list.

Hostess (who we didn't know) didn't bat and eye and welcomed us ladies and seated us... but as far as the waitstaff goes? As I said to my wife, there was zero chance I could ever pass in this environment... just because of context if nothing else.  Being with her would make people assume it was me. 😂

We had a waiter we've had occasionally but we don't know by name... he came to the table and said welcome back to my wife, saying I know one of you has been here before... and then he clearly bumped on me and didn't, of course say anything, but both my wife and I smiled.

Normally they bring us our drinks when we sit down, so the fact that the didn't meant that at least from a far, the room thought my wife was with a friend.

But then we saw one of the head waitresses, someone who knows us well. Whether she has our table or not, we always say hi, so my wife just waved at her and said hi and she came over... she approached me from behind and started talking to my wife, and then looked at me and immediately smiled. "Oh my god, you look great!", she said. "I love your whole look and outfit and everything!"

And we started talking about our trip to DC... and another waitress who knows us came over and started telling us how she grew up in the DC area, and she didn't even reference anything.

So, like I said, that's checked off the list.

Love,
Allie

Quote from: imallie on June 07, 2024, 08:31:56 PM"Oh my god, you look great!", she said. "I love your whole look and outfit and everything!"

See? I wouldn't lie to you. 

Quote from: LoriDee on June 07, 2024, 10:19:30 PMSee? I wouldn't lie to you. 

I don't know... you're pretty sketchy.  I hear things...

By the way, tomorrow we're planning on lunch at our Pho place, and dinner at another place we frequent... so by the end of the weekend all of that will really be done.

The thing I mentioned to my wife that we've yet to experience is the unexpected encounter - running into someone we know who doesn't know. That's a different animal than consciously going somewhere and at least being mentally prepared for a discussion.

But it'll happen when it happens.

Oh and I'd really like to get my ears pierced this weekend if we can swing it. These clip-ons really are the worst. Wow.

'night all!