Quote from: LoriDee on June 21, 2024, 10:01:40 PMCan you maybe set some rules, like they are not to draw attention to who you used to be? At least not your old name. Unless that is important somehow. But if the show is about weight loss, I would think it wouldn't need to come up. You could start a whole new following as Allie.

It's still my same username... so while you're right I could start a following with my new name, it'll really be if people want to come along for the ride. Maybe some might be interested in this new aspect of my life, but that I can't control, for good or bad. It's all part of my journey. Least that's how I feel in the cocoon of talking about it with friends/family. Doing it as a public-facing thing will be different, although I'm accustomed to speaking that way about other things.

So ... it'll be interesting. I honestly don't think I know how I feel about it until after the fact. I think this is one of those experiences I need to have and then use the lessons learned to inform how I go forward. But I don't want to assume anything and close off a door out of ignorance or (worse) fear.

That makes sense. I did something similar for my website. It is not indexed by search engines, so the only way to find it is by a direct link. I did that to sort of gauge my audience and decide where to go next with it.

I have written a bunch of articles on Spirituality, but when I check the writing the AI accuses me of plagiarism when it is just a lot of quotes. So those articles are now hidden until I can reword some things and go with footnotes, or something similar. Eventually, I plan to assemble those articles into a book. So the rewrite is also to make each article its own chapter.

The only time I have time to devote to it is in winter when I am cooped up indoors anyway. I'll get there.

Tonight was the first (and probably only) attempt to wash my hair topper. I say only because in the first week in July it's getting bolted onto my head (my wife is not a fan of me constantly using that phrase when telling people what is happening, by the way. She also rolls her eyes when I tell them that every 4-6 weeks I'll have to go "into the shop to get the spark plugs changed and oil change on it"... but, hey... I gotta do me!)

So anyway, after this... it'll be about learning how to wash it while it's ON my head.

But the process seemed simple enough. This air drying... though. It's been a few hours and it still resembles some sort of road kill. I'd very much like to wear it in the morning. I do trust the process but... wow...it really looks a bit terrifying.

And yes, we followed the instructions. Put in the washing machine on a warm water gentle cycle.  Duh! 

Do you have a cork head? Not you, I mean a cork wig stand. I pin mine on the cork and it dries pretty quickly while keeping its shape. Once it's bolted in place, I would think you could wash it in the shower like your bio hair. Just different shampoo and be careful not to tug it.

For drying it in place, invest in a Turbie Twist. Remember those? I got one and it works great!

Quote from: LoriDee on June 22, 2024, 10:20:54 PMDo you have a cork head? Not you, I mean a cork wig stand. I pin mine on the cork and it dries pretty quickly while keeping its shape. Once it's bolted in place, I would think you could wash it in the shower like your bio hair. Just different shampoo and be careful not to tug it.

For drying it in place, invest in a Turbie Twist. Remember those? I got one and it works great!

I've been called a lot of things, but cork head is not one of them. I'm sure someone will get to it at some point though...

No, I have a plastic wig holder head thingie (which scares me when I forget about it pretty regularly!) - so I can't pin to it. But it lays on it nicely. And I do have the shampoo / conditioner the salon recommended (the Jon Renau products that I think many use)... not sure if those will also be what I use when it's on my head.

A Turbie twist? Never heard of that! Hang on...

Oh, yes, I've seen those... just never knew that's what they were called! Thanks for making me just a tiny bit smarter today! I always appreciate that!

Love,
Allie

I have to let mine air dry, it says no heat or brushing till dry. Good job I dont wear my best one that often and my old one comes off when I get to my workshop.

Quote from: davina61 on June 23, 2024, 03:33:05 AMI have to let mine air dry, it says no heat or brushing till dry. Good job I dont wear my best one that often and my old one comes off when I get to my workshop.

It air dried pretty well, if a bit frizzy. Although as the day went on it seemed to get better. I did order a flat iron so that maybe we could take a run at fixing it a bit.

I won't have the luxury of wearing different ones once this is attached...so I do need to know how to handle it.

Big week from a planning/getting things done perspective.

I've got my podcast zoom tomorrow morning - the first I've done as "me"... should be interesting.

I also plan on calling town hall to book a notary public appointment so I can get my name change docs notarized, and hopefully take those to the courthouse later in the week.

At the same time, we are in our window to start planning our NYC trip for the last week in July.

The recent Tony awards cost us some $$... as I'd wanted to see Stereophonic, and with it winning the big award, prices skyrocketed. Still I landed us a pair of reasonable seats for our first night in the city, plus a reservation at Butter... so that's one night down.

And just after midnight I scored a reservation for a restaurant we've been dying to try for the past few years - Dirt Candy. It's a Michelin star vegetarian restaurant. And before you roll your eyes at it... please look it up and see the dishes on the tasting menu. It's playful and fun and just looks incredible. We're happy to eat things that had mothers the rest of our trip, but we can take a one-meal respite to try that place out!!

Love,
Allie

Not many weeks till I go to a festival, best bit is its free and literally on my door step!

Quote from: davina61 on June 24, 2024, 05:37:10 AMNot many weeks till I go to a festival, best bit is its free and literally on my door step!

On the one hand that sounds amazing and convenient! ... But on the other hand having all those people parking in your yard, using your bathroom, and generally making a mess on your lovely doorstep... sheesh, I don't know...🤔

Personally, I would have tried to see if you could have moved the festival to the door step of a neighbor whom you don't like so much. 🤫😉

Had my interview this morning..

It won't be used for an episode of the podcast, however... which I'm fine with. Actually, the owner of the company (he runs a small health & fitness/lifestyle company and the podcasts are part of it) just wanted to catch up and talk about doing a series of podcasts in the future.

I've been a guest of his like 2-3 times before and it's always been really enjoyable... we get deep in the weeds on some topics, but today we talked about my story, and he was telling me about his personal story since we last spoke (about a year ago).

Anyway, it was exactly why I'm glad I said yes. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about doing something like that... and now I'm oh so glad I did.

Plus, and I'm going to allow myself this bit of... well, I don't know... self-congratulatory delusion, I guess?

I could not stop looking at myself on the Zoom. I thought I looked really good. I mean, I was stunned that that was me. Like I felt like it was the first time I was seeing what other people tell me they are seeing.

Still not 100% sure I believe them... because maybe Zoom filters are really good or something... but I now want to sign up for as many Zoom interviews as humanly possible!

Love,
Allie

I'm glad it went so well. I love that feeling when you catch a glimpse and see her, knowing that's ME!

Quote from: LoriDee on June 24, 2024, 11:26:28 AMI'm glad it went so well. I love that feeling when you catch a glimpse and see her, knowing that's ME!

This wasn't so much a glimpse, and more like one of those old cartoon guns where, instead of a bullet, a big boxing glove springs out and smacks you in the face.  But yes, the general idea is the same. 😘

BTW, just booked an appointment with a notary for tomorrow morning, en route to coffee with my old boss (who, while being supportive, has still not seen me as "me" yet... ) so... the wheels are in motion, the wheels, most definitely, are in motion.

Looks like the next big step after the name change is... <drum roll> ... driver's license! 

Quote from: LoriDee on June 24, 2024, 01:55:06 PMLooks like the next big step after the name change is... <drum roll> ... driver's license! 

Yeah, I believe that's the way it's listed on the play-by-play for my state.  It might be SS card first? But either that or driver's license next... then passport. That last one we don't need until next year, but I assume each of these steps will take weeks if not months... so gotta get it all rolling.

I'm less concerned with birth certificate. In fact I'm not sure I'm really that concerned about that at all. Regardless, I know that's last on the list.

I was able to schedule an appointment at the local SS office and got my records updated. A week or so later my new SS card came in the mail. Driver's license was same day also. New photo, updated name, gender, and veteran status, new pic and they printed it out on the spot.

I don't have a passport, so I don't know about that one. I agree with you that I found no need to update my birth certificate, college transcripts, school records, or military records. The legal name change order supersedes all of those. I was born in PA and the wait time to amend a birth certificate is 18 months. The last time anyone wanted to see my birth certificate was the judge during the name change hearing. Now I have enough government-issued photo IDs that the birth certificate is irrelevant.

Yup, have to drop off a certified copy of my BC with my name change request. I also have to drop off a motion to waive the public component... but even as a former lawyer, the form they've provided is odd and I'm really not sure how they want it filled out. There's zero guidance on it. So I'm just going to wing it...

Have to admit, the conversations you have during transition are really sometimes things you never would have dreamed of having before...

But let me get to that in a minute. First, some housekeeping.

Went to town hall and got my name change paperwork notarized. Went smoothly, and I think the notary was genuinely taken aback by seeing my driver's license photo ... which made me feel good, especially since I haven't shaved since Sunday (since I have electrolysis on Wednesday and I need a few days' growth).

Had coffee (or watched people have coffee) with my old boss afterwards. First time he'd seen me as "me"... He made a joke of not being able to find me when he entered, but after that, other than telling me he told one of his daughters about me and she said "she's so courageous"... and said she kept emphasizing the "she" because he was misgendering me (which I told him not to worry about, he'll get it), the rest of the time we just talked about him... like we always do.

Now to the weird conversation.

On the way home I called my youngest older sister. My sisters are the Three Bears - the middle sister is way too hot: she's always sending me links, telling me she wants to take me shopping, have my "colors done", etc etc etc... She's a lot.; The youngest loves me and is supportive, but she's from a Trump household and she always has questions and I think she just doesn't really understand this. Trying though. and my oldest sister is just right. She's works at a college - she's dealt with this. She's been nothing but supportive and normal.

Anyway, this chat was with the youngest.  She said she was having lunch with the middle, who was already saying she has three sisters... and the youngest was struggling with it. She said to me "aren't you still my brother?"  I told her that it's up to her... she can think of me by whichever term makes her feel better. There's no right or wrong.

She said she appreciated that, because she said she'd be comfortable being naked in front of the other two sisters, but not in front of me.

Ugh. 😂

"Look, I am 100% on board with that," I said. "Whatever you need to call me to keep your clothes on, I fully support. I didn't know that's what came with the word sister. But just so you know? I have zero interest in seeing any of your husbands with their pants off either. I don't want to see ANY of you naked - at all. As far as I'm concerned everyone remains dressed, how about that? And you call me whatever works for you."

"Ok, good," she said.

I wish I could say I exaggerated or made up even one tiny piece of that. Nope.
Love,
Allie

YUp, you can pick your friends but you cant pick family!!

You handled that well, Allie, even though she told you that she doesn't see you as a sister, whatever she calls you.