Quote from: EllenW on August 11, 2024, 08:50:11 PMAllie,

I understand how you feel because I feel the same way about myself. That I am a better looking women then I ever die as a male.

Ellen

I do think, as I said when I kind of worked it through with my wife, that a lot of it really is how we feel about ourselves Ellen, don't you think? That's a really happy person looking back at us in the mirror ... and happy people are simply more attractive.

Or at least that's part of it anyway!

I love watching Simone Biles for her smile. Sure, I like her flippy-twirly tricks, but when she smiles, it's 40,000 watts.

Just had a catchup session with my vocal coach.

I hadn't worked with him in more than a year, and while I personally think everything is just ducky, I really thought it made sense to get not only AN expert opinion, but THE expert when it came to my voice.

He said my voice was "ridiculous". In a good way.

I told him I literally do not think about voice at all, ever. Other than, you know, when I was just talking to him it made me a bit self-conscious of it.  But I long ago stopped doing exercises... and that's why I had a bit if niggling doubt that maybe I'd regressed or I was leaning on appearance or just that I was accepting something that wasn't good enough.

But he said it's like when you look at yoga masters all tied up in pretzels. We don't know how they get that way, but for them, it's just how they're accustomed to sitting. This is now where my voice sits. I don't have to think about it at all. Tone and inflection were on point.

I really think I knew this, but it felt good to get confirmation. He said he felt guilty using a paid session for this... but I found it extremely valuable. There aren't that many times in life you can get confirmation that you're on the right track with something from someone whose opinion is beyond reproach.

I had a similar experience recently. It was at my six-month follow-up voice training, and like you, I hadn't been practicing at all. I got so busy with other things, I didn't even think about it. My voice coach said I was doing well and we would check back in six months. But I didn't really get any feedback from her. It was more of a self-evaluation, and like you, I doubted I had made any progress at all.

Then one night while I was patrolling the parking lot, a couple of thieves came through the lot and I used my phone to record them while I chased them off. When I played it back, I was amazed at how different I sounded. My voice was warmer and softer than I remembered.

Allie, I think you are correct that over time, we settle into a certain way of doing it. My coach even said she did not want me "practicing" just to do more talking. Let the habit settle in.

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 12, 2024, 08:42:20 AMI had a similar experience recently. It was at my six-month follow-up voice training, and like you, I hadn't been practicing at all. I got so busy with other things, I didn't even think about it. My voice coach said I was doing well and we would check back in six months. But I didn't really get any feedback from her. It was more of a self-evaluation, and like you, I doubted I had made any progress at all.

Then one night while I was patrolling the parking lot, a couple of thieves came through the lot and I used my phone to record them while I chased them off. When I played it back, I was amazed at how different I sounded. My voice was warmer and softer than I remembered.

Allie, I think you are correct that over time, we settle into a certain way of doing it. My coach even said she did not want me "practicing" just to do more talking. Let the habit settle in.

That's great Lori!

Yes, he said he hoped I wasn't practicing and I told him I don't think I'd done any in like a year. LOL

He also said, and I assume this is useful to you as well, to make sure you give yourself a break if/when you get a cold... as that will naturally lower your vocal register as it does to everyone.

But sometimes it can be dysphoric for people. He said trust that you're still processing your voice exactly the same way, still moving air exactly the same way, and that all that's impacting things is a bit of inflammation, which will abate.

A big turning point is when you are happy enough to smile at others.  That is very feminine.

Quote from: Maid Marion on August 12, 2024, 10:01:34 AMA big turning point is when you are happy enough to smile at others.  That is very feminine.

I promise you, THAT is not an issue with me. 

Quote from: imallie on August 12, 2024, 10:10:29 AMI promise you, THAT is not an issue with me. 

@imallie
Dear Allie:
I am exactly the same way in that regard....    I am known to be an extrovert and
usually when around others, I am the first to smile, the first to introduce myself,
and the first to start a small "ice breaker" conversation.

  My personal motto is:  "If you wish to have friends, be friendly"

Thank you for sharing and posting.
HUGS, Danielle

Quote from: Northern Star Girl on August 12, 2024, 10:28:38 AM@imallie
Dear Allie:
I am exactly the same way in that regard....    I am known to be an extrovert and
usually when around others, I am the first to smile, the first to introduce myself,
and the first to start a small "ice breaker" conversation.

  My personal motto is:  "If you wish to have friends, be friendly"

Thank you for sharing and posting.
HUGS, Danielle

The 1,000,000 watt smile in your profile pic makes everything you're saying SUPER easy to believe and understand, my friend! ❤️

I do have a friend who says my pics now are "all teeth" so ... I get it!

We all have a lot more to smile about so smiles come a lot more easily, and last time I looked, they're free!

By the way, I called one of my sisters this morning. She'd been dealing with some health issues and I just wanted to check on her.

You know that second when the person answering a call doesn't think you can hear them yet and you already can? Sometimes you hear a throat clear, or the tail end of another conversation, or some random bit of dialog?

Well I just caught three words, and I have to say, knowing that she had no idea I was listening, they kind of made my day. I heard:
 "It's my sister..."

Quote from: imallie on August 12, 2024, 11:56:25 AMWe all have a lot more to smile about so smiles come a lot more easily, and last time I looked, they're free!

And very often when you give one away for free, it gets returned to you. Nothing lost.

Quote from: imallie on August 12, 2024, 12:00:08 PMWell I just caught three words, and I have to say, knowing that she had no idea I was listening, they kind of made my day. I heard:
 "It's my sister..."

Sometimes the eloquence of a simple statement can bring us to our knees. Hearing others, especially family members, getting this right is better than a bouquet of flowers.

Love always -- Jess

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on August 12, 2024, 05:07:50 PMSometimes the eloquence of a simple statement can bring us to our knees. Hearing others, especially family members, getting this right is better than a bouquet of flowers.

Love always -- Jess

Very much so, Jess. It was especially because I knew she didn't think I heard that made it nice. I knew it wasn't intentional. It wasn't done to make me feel good. Not that that's not appreciated. But this is a lot deeper and more meaningful.

I'm kind of debating whether or not to to tell her about it.

Because I really like to tell people things that make them happy. Just like I love complimenting people. Not falsely, but when I really mean it. I hate leaving nice things unsaid.

This is just a bit weird, and I'm not sure she will exactly understand it. But I'd like her to know how much I appreciated it.

Quote from: imallie on August 12, 2024, 11:56:25 AMThe 1,000,000 watt smile in your profile pic makes everything you're saying SUPER easy to believe and understand, my friend! ❤️

I do have a friend who says my pics now are "all teeth" so ... I get it!

We all have a lot more to smile about so smiles come a lot more easily, and last time I looked, they're free!

Lol, Allie, your smile is legendary.

And yeah, @Northern Star Girl is one of the most outgoing, kind, energetic, encouraging people I've ever met. She's like a lightning rod. Always supercharged. <3

Tonight we had a AAA baseball game (we're season ticket holders for the local team). Both the wife and I have several versions of the team cap, and I decided I wanted to wear a pink/magenta version (not a team color one)... so, because I didn't want it to clash with what else I was wearing, I wore a magenta v-neck short sleeve top with it.

And when I wear a baseball cap, I pull my hair back behind my ears and let it drape down in the back on both sides — I don't have enough for a pony (or "puny") tail, and I think the look where you have it in front of both of your ears looks like dog ears.

Anyway, I thought I looked relatively cute, baseball-wise.

Well, early in the game, one of the ushers came over to our seats and said "Oooh, I really like your outfit tonight - you look nice in the pink" and walked away.

My wife laughed: "People really do appreciate color coordination," she said.

But all I could say was "Ummm. Gross."

I mean, I know he meant it in a nice way, but it was really kind of a creepy feeling. First one of those I've gotten.  So check that off the list, I guess. That was not something I knew was on the list, btw. 🙄

I only ever watched a baseball match once in my whole life.. it was right before I joined the Navy. And I literally fell asleep halfway through. It's the US equivalent of Cricket. But more enthusiastic.

Quote from: Sephirah on August 13, 2024, 08:10:44 PMI only ever watched a baseball match once in my whole life.. it was right before I joined the Navy. And I literally fell asleep halfway through. It's the US equivalent of Cricket. But more enthusiastic.

Honestly, baseball REALLY is the European equivalent to football (yours, not ours). In that, to the uninitiated (some say uneducated.. that seems rude), the game seems as if not much happens all that often. But unlock it's secrets, and it's really THE game for the thinking fan. Full of short burst of incredible athleticism, coupled with deep strategy and far more rising drama than any field, pitch, or ice sport -- simply because scoring CAN be sudden and violent like football, but also can be built slowly and dramatically, and with no clock, no team is ever technically eliminated until they in fact fail defeat their opponent.

And this comes from someone who spent 20+ years working in the sports industry, where it was my job to attend sporting events of every stripe, all the time. This is a hard, long-thought and often argued and re-argued position. Doesn't mean I'm right, but when I've mentioned the connection to those who are fans of both, they see the strands they hadn't seen before.
 

Quote from: imallie on August 13, 2024, 09:09:55 PMHonestly, baseball REALLY is the European equivalent to football (yours, not ours). In that, to the uninitiated (some say uneducated.. that seems rude), the game seems as if not much happens all that often. But unlock it's secrets, and it's really THE game for the thinking fan. Full of short burst of incredible athleticism, coupled with deep strategy and far more rising drama than any field, pitch, or ice sport -- simply because scoring CAN be sudden and violent like football, but also can be built slowly and dramatically, and with no clock, no team is ever technically eliminated until they in fact fail defeat their opponent.

And this comes from someone who spent 20+ years working in the sports industry, where it was my job to attend sporting events of every stripe, all the time. This is a hard, long-thought and often argued and re-argued position. Doesn't mean I'm right, but when I've mentioned the connection to those who are fans of both, they see the strands they hadn't seen before.
 

It is really not the equivalent of what we call football, Allie. Our version of football iS a lot of overpaid primadonnas falling down whenever anyone breathes on them because they are so fragile and worth more than most third world countries. Baseball is way closer to 20/20 cricket. And that's kind of awesome. They both have the same energy.

Some random bits from today...

AS I may have mentioned earlier in the week, I received my updated Social Security card. Earlier, I was told once I had that in hand, I would be able to log into the Medicare website and just request a new card which would also reflect my new name. That would give me both of my insurance cards being corrected.

But when I log in to Medicare, I still see my old name.. and when I did an online chat, I was told that, even though it's the same interconnected governmental system, it could take up to 30 days for my name to go from the SS system to Medicare's -- so all I can do is wait. *sigh*

---

Went to CVS to pick up my estrogen patches today. I figured I needed to wait until I had BOTH insurance cards (plus my license) in hand before asking them to update their system with my new name. I'd heard that getting that changed is a huge nuisance. So I was I was resigned it that being something that would have to wait.

Well,surprisingly, when we requested the script,they said insurance wasn't covering it. Our prescription policy is fantastic. All my scripts -- and I take a lot of stuff -- are $0.00.  So when they said it was  $74.95 for two weeks, something was off.

My wife said, "we're in the midst of a name change, could that be it?" And the girl said, "Oh yes," and asked for my insurance card. I gave her my updated health care card -- and suddenly back to $0.00 AND she was able to make the name change in the system, so the box now has my new name on it. So that was pretty great.

We are wondering if every first filling of each script will be an issue going forward, and then it will be resolved... but even if that's the case, that isn't too too bad. But it's also possible I just checked off a big one.

---

Lastly, when we were packing for the beach (a quick two-day trip to RI in the morning), I was trying on a few new items my wife had picked up for me and when I was topless at one point she said, "Oh hey...I think you've got some new boobage there!"

I haven't really felt the normally itching and soreness or anything, but.. it's possible, per my wife, my "boobage" has increased. Which is always a plus. 

Love,
Allie

Quote from: imallie on August 14, 2024, 10:11:43 PMeven though it's the same interconnected governmental system, it could take up to 30 days for my name to go from the SS system to Medicare's -- so all I can do is wait. *sigh*

It CAN take up to 30 days but usually a couple of weeks. I got mine pretty quickly.

I know what you mean about having YOUR name on your prescriptions. It's weird but I kept staring at it. My first Rx labels said for Gender Transition. After my Endo gave me a letter making my gender change official, the Rx labels now say for Hormone replacement.

Congrats on the new boobilage!