Here's something my wife and I discussed a bit last night.

She will occasionally now, partially to tease me but mostly as a compliment, say "aren't you the sweetest?" — after some sort of interaction I have with a stranger.

And the fact is, when I was a guy, I was always considered to be SUCH a "nice guy." And it's true, I was. But I also always found myself holding back, dialing it down. Things I'd want to do or say, I knew were too much, so I wouldn't.

And what is glorious now is, that filter is removed.

Some of it is the misogyny of language — a guy is nice (an active choice), a girl is sweet (a passive state of being) — for the exact same thing.

But it's more than that.

When we walk on the beach, I feel free to fawn over a cute dog if I want to... or interact with a little kid who's playing in the sand.... And I'm forever talking to parking attendants, crossing guards, etc... always thanking them and wishing them a nice day... or strike up a conversation with women at a table next to us at a restaurant...  things that I used to think "reign that in" and now I just get to be me.

And it reads as "sweet" — and that's fine by me.

Quote from: imallie on August 29, 2024, 07:48:58 AMOh God no. Those people are the worst. 😘

Absolutely.

How do you add like 2 whole pages to your blog literally every time I come here?

Quote from: Sephirah on August 29, 2024, 07:47:56 PMHow do you add like 2 whole pages to your blog literally every time I come here?

Writers write. It's a sickness, really.

Most of it lands squarely between piffle and nonsense, so luckily you're not missing much. 

I kind of think it lands squarely between someone who isn't afraid to express themselves, and people who can identify with that expression.

Never stop being you, Allie. I've seen how magnetic you are. Don't ever lose that. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on August 29, 2024, 08:10:34 PMI kind of think it lands squarely between someone who isn't afraid to express themselves, and people who can identify with that expression.

Never stop being you, Allie. I've seen how magnetic you are. Don't ever lose that. <3

You're awfully sweet,thanks.

Which, if you read a page or so back, you'll see that I am as well... so, on behalf of all of us who are sweet -- welcome to the team!

We're having satin jackets made,  embroidered with our names. I'll let you know when yours is ready. 

So, I've decided aside from the continual slow evolution of my wardrobe (and now, obviously, a whole new season's worth of outfits), I'm going to try a couple of new things in September:

1. I've been growing out my fingernails for all of August (quite a challenge for someone so accustomed to keeping their nails perfectly trimmed). So this weekend I'm going to try polish and top coat. Just a classic white polish -- not looking for anything gaudy or bright, or that I need to change with my outfits. Just something simply in a "let's see how I like this" kinda way.

2. I found a whole bunch of online "what is your fragrance?" quizzes (most are pretty silly, but some are fun), and since two of them actually pointed me towards the same scent - I decided, I'd just have faith and buy a tiny sampler and see how I like it. Gucci Bloom, by the way.

I used to wear cologne on RARE occasion as a guy. Was never much of a fan of it. But I like the idea of adding a SUBTLE (i.e. NOT a fragrance that enters a room five minutes before me and lingers ten minutes after I've left) scent. So I'll give it a go.

Neither of these things are necessarily permanent addition. But I subscribe to the Ralph Waldo Emerson theory of being open-minded and willing to change my opinion on things. So... you never know until you try them.
 

Quote from: imallie on August 30, 2024, 09:39:48 PMSo, I've decided aside from the continual slow evolution of my wardrobe (and now, obviously, a whole new season's worth of outfits), I'm going to try a couple of new things in September:

1. I've been growing out my fingernails for all of August (quite a challenge for someone so accustomed to keeping their nails perfectly trimmed). So this weekend I'm going to try polish and top coat. Just a classic white polish -- not looking for anything gaudy or bright, or that I need to change with my outfits. Just something simply in a "let's see how I like this" kinda way.

2. I found a whole bunch of online "what is your fragrance?" quizzes (most are pretty silly, but some are fun), and since two of them actually pointed me towards the same scent - I decided, I'd just have faith and buy a tiny sampler and see how I like it. Gucci Bloom, by the way.

I used to wear cologne on RARE occasion as a guy. Was never much of a fan of it. But I like the idea of adding a SUBTLE (i.e. NOT a fragrance that enters a room five minutes before me and lingers ten minutes after I've left) scent. So I'll give it a go.

Neither of these things are necessarily permanent addition. But I subscribe to the Ralph Waldo Emerson theory of being open-minded and willing to change my opinion on things. So... you never know until you try them.
 

Long nails look nice but they are as much of a hinderance as anything. Especially when it comes to trying to type anything. Take it from someone who did that. There's a reason evolution invented nail clippers. You've heard of fat finger syndrome... get ready on that delete key. Unless you're super pro, lol.

My cousin taught me about perfume. She goes to the Dollar store so it's cheap. She tries combinations of two that she likes and "layers" them. It gives a unique scent that is all yours, but can take a lot of testing to find the right mix.

I went shopping to give it a try. Found one I really like and only one. I go VERY lightly with it, using a cotton ball to dab just enough. That bottle has lasted over a year and I still have more than half a bottle to go. It was a great investment.

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 30, 2024, 09:50:54 PMMy cousin taught me about perfume. She goes to the Dollar store so it's cheap. She tries combinations of two that she likes and "layers" them. It gives a unique scent that is all yours, but can take a lot of testing to find the right mix.

I went shopping to give it a try. Found one I really like and only one. I go VERY lightly with it, using a cotton ball to dab just enough. That bottle has lasted over a year and I still have more than half a bottle to go. It was a great investment.

If you don't smell like a laundry basket, you're good in my book. I am not picky.

Quote from: Sephirah on August 30, 2024, 09:54:00 PMIf you don't smell like a laundry basket, you're good in my book. I am not picky.

Clean or dirty laundry? 

Quote from: Sephirah on August 30, 2024, 09:48:38 PMLong nails look nice but they are as much of a hinderance as anything. Especially when it comes to trying to type anything. Take it from someone who did that. There's a reason evolution invented nail clippers. You've heard of fat finger syndrome... get ready on that delete key. Unless you're super pro, lol.

Well, I think "long" is a relative term. I'm talking about 1/8 inch above the nail bed right now. I think maybe 1/4 inch would be the max I'd go.

Quote from: Lori Dee on August 30, 2024, 10:10:54 PMClean or dirty laundry? 

Clean laundry is never put in a basket.

The kind that smells like.. half old fast food, half gym socks. The kind they use to wake people up when they've been KO'd in a boxing match, lol.

Quote from: imallie on August 30, 2024, 10:33:53 PMWell, I think "long" is a relative term. I'm talking about 1/8 inch above the nail bed right now. I think maybe 1/4 inch would be the max I'd go.

Gotcha. Wise move. I ruined a lot of rather expensive tech equipment with my... talons, lol.

I keep breaking mine ,side effect of having a workshop! Going out tonight so they will get a paint, fire engine red to go with the flowers on my dress. Not found a scent I really like 100% yet, a nice flowery one would be good but nothing in my price range. Have a nice body spray that I hope works.

Quote from: imallie on August 30, 2024, 09:39:48 PMSo, I've decided aside from the continual slow evolution of my wardrobe (and now, obviously, a whole new season's worth of outfits), I'm going to try a couple of new things in September:

1. I've been growing out my fingernails for all of August (quite a challenge for someone so accustomed to keeping their nails perfectly trimmed). So this weekend I'm going to try polish and top coat. Just a classic white polish -- not looking for anything gaudy or bright, or that I need to change with my outfits. Just something simply in a "let's see how I like this" kinda way.

2. I found a whole bunch of online "what is your fragrance?" quizzes (most are pretty silly, but some are fun), and since two of them actually pointed me towards the same scent - I decided, I'd just have faith and buy a tiny sampler and see how I like it. Gucci Bloom, by the way.

I used to wear cologne on RARE occasion as a guy. Was never much of a fan of it. But I like the idea of adding a SUBTLE (i.e. NOT a fragrance that enters a room five minutes before me and lingers ten minutes after I've left) scent. So I'll give it a go.

Neither of these things are necessarily permanent addition. But I subscribe to the Ralph Waldo Emerson theory of being open-minded and willing to change my opinion on things. So... you never know until you try them.
 

I'm glad you're experimenting. It's your prerogative now! I used to do my nails, but I just couldn't keep them pretty given my tomboy inclinations. However, I did like them that ONE day they were perfect. What I didn't like was the yellowing of the nails. That yellowing reminded me of seeing a pretty woman in high heels and then she removed them and you saw her bunion-deformed feet from wearing those high heels.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on August 31, 2024, 04:19:42 AMI'm glad you're experimenting. It's your prerogative now! I used to do my nails, but I just couldn't keep them pretty given my tomboy inclinations. However, I did like them that ONE day they were perfect. What I didn't like was the yellowing of the nails. That yellowing reminded me of seeing a pretty woman in high heels and then she removed them and you saw her bunion-deformed feet from wearing those high heels.

Yeah, let's say I'm going into this with healthy skepticism... but even so, try everything at least once, right?

Prior to lunch of really creative tacos at this local upscale taco spot, we did a morning of shopping. I'm already donating clothing - replacing things I bought a 4-6 weeks ago that don't suit me as well now that my style is more in focus. It's just funny to think how far & fast a wardrobe can develop...

But mostly my thoughts today, while shopping, and at the restaurant, were how all THAT — just being a women in the world — THAT is what I always thought about when I considered the "unavailable life." I'd spend so much time day dreaming as we walked the street, or in shops, at restaurants, etc... looking at women and musing "I wonder what HER life is like? I wonder what HER life is like?" And in each case, considering that whatever the situation - I considered them "lucky."

And now? I realize I never do that. I'm so much more present in my own life.

Because I'm the lucky one.

Love,
Allie

P.S. It's a wonder what a trip to TJ Maxx, some tacos and a Vicodin can do to a girl, huh? Makes her way more pensive than she normally would be on a Saturday afternoon. Apologies!

So, you're being present and grateful, which is like winning the lottery while discovering you've grown wings.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on August 31, 2024, 05:34:18 PMSo, you're being present and grateful, which is like winning the lottery while discovering you've grown wings.

Yes, yes, yes and yes. ❤️

And it's really easy to say this when you HAVE won the lottery and grown wings? But the key to happiness is being grateful for what you have, and not worried about what you don't.

BTW - after dinner tonight we went out to this farm about 20 minutes from us that we'd been told had amazing ice cream. And we were NOT lied to. Wow, so good!

And when we got home we thought it was time to try doing my nails.  My wife was going to do the first hand, and I'd do the second.

As she started working on it... the first comment she made on the polish SHE picked out was... "oooh, sparkly!" And we both started to laugh. It said "luxe finish"... which we now knows means it's intended for those with unicorn posters in their rooms, I believe.

So... we wiped that off, and we're back to square one. Will look for a new polish tomorrow. I assume we'd want a matte finish, and she said that's a term for paints, not polish... but since she doesn't really do her nails... maybe it is?

It was quite the high level discussion between two people with advanced graduate degrees. 🙄😂

Love,
Allie