Quote from: Lori Dee on September 05, 2024, 02:30:16 PMA sneaky trick is to use a very small amount of her perfume with yours. We become "nose blind" to our own scents. If she doesn't care for yours, maybe a little mashup will change her mind. 

I like hers very much, but it very much HER. So while I see what you mean... I want to get an unvarnished opinion. No need for trickery. But you are sneakier than I thought before Lori.

And just so you know, all that means is that I like you just a little bit more. 😉😘

I want to be tricksy like Lori! I want to be the hand buzzer and whoopie cushion of Susan's. We all have dreams and that's mine.

I haven't worn perfume for years. I'm outside too much to apply that bug dinner bell to my skin.

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on September 05, 2024, 04:27:04 PMI want to be tricksy like Lori! I want to be the hand buzzer and whoopie cushion of Susan's. We all have dreams and that's mine.

I haven't worn perfume for years. I'm outside too much to apply that bug dinner bell to my skin.

I'm so sweet bugs have always made a meal out of me. Now I'm just seasoning it for them. Seems just polite.

Bzzzzt... ow! Pffffftthhh

Thanks O&C 

You girls make me laugh!

Today was one of them good days. 😉

Got up early and drove down to the beach in Rhode Island. Turned out to be a beautiful September morning on the beach — maybe a handlful of folks there at most. The water temp was amazing... and a one of my wife's sisters and sister-in-laws joined us.

We hung out all morning, then took a nice 20-min walk down the beach to the port of Galilee where there's this little ocean-front restaurant we like, where we can eat sushi on the desk, overlooking the ocean and watching some of the little boats come into the port. Not too shabby.

Then after we got all gussied up at the hotel, we took the short ride over to Newport, walked around a bit (always fun) and had an amazing dinner as part of my wife's "birthday weekend"

A full, rich day, indeed.

Love,
Allie

P.S. Oh, and I almost buried the lede (not really, but... sort of.)

In Jamestown, RI (which is one bridge before Newport... ) there's this lovely area called Beavertail. A wonderful place to hike, it's shaped, as you can imagine, like a beavers tail, sticking out into the ocean, with a lighthouse at its tip. the views are amazing. We love to walk it and take visitors.

Any way, my sister-in-law was talking about it this morning, and she had a little verbal slip up... she mentioned how she took some of her friends to "Beaver town"... at which the rest of us all cracked up until she realized what she had said.

Why am I sharing this?

Because as my wife and I were giggling about it over dinner I had an idea, which she is on board with. We now have a new way to describe my upcoming surgery. Zero-depth? Nah. Genital Remodeling (that's what the surgeons I hope to use call it)...ummm, no.  From now on, it's very simple - I am "going to Beaver Town" 😉

Sounds like a great time.
Mrs. Allie!
         

Cant type for laughing------------

Beaver Town for the win!

I actually go to Beaver Town several days each week, but the beavers I see are the tail-slapping, dam-building critters. A couple mornings back, one beaver was quite chill. He just floated and watched me. No tail-slapping, diving theatrics. I had a couple loons do the same thing, no more than 15 feet away.

Actually got to tell my sister-in-law who was the inspiration for "I'm going to Beaver Town" of her contribution to my transition this evening, as we had a dinner with four of my wife's siblings (and their spouses). After she stopped laughing hysterically, she said she was honored to play a roll. ❤️

It was a wonderful dinner. First off, it was a GORGEOUS morning at the beach. We didn't swim, but had a nice walk along the shore... very few people there, although there were several surfers, which is always kind of cool to watch.

But the dinner was great. Always fun to be with that group. Plus, we went to our favorite spot in RI, which happens to be the little restaurant where my wife's sister sat a few tables away from Taylor Swift last summer. Ironically, her husband is a big Chiefs fan, so he was more disappointed that Travis wasn't there, than excited that Tay Tay was.

(The spot is in Westerly, RI - very close to her mansion... the one where she hosts her big July 4th party, and you always hear things like "Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are staying at Taylor Swift's beachfront mansion this week"? That's this place. LOL)

Oh, and one little tidbit. Because we were a party of 10, they had a table for us in their bar area (it's quite a small place). Hadn't really been on that side before. But it gave us a nice view of the bar itself. It was pretty quiet. So it was obvious (to me) when later in the evening, a woman walked in looking very awkward. After about 2.5 seconds I knew she was trans, from about 25 feet away. As she got closer, it was more obvious. Not a great wig, her face was, unfortunately, very masculine, her hands (obviously), and her outfit was not really put together very well.

But here's the thing: I'm guessing that I still might have bumped on her because she was pretty obviously trans? But had she CONFIDENTLY walked into that room at sat at the bar? Maybe not. She wouldn't have drawn my attention. I think she drew everyone's eyes immediately because of that. What others thought I don't know. I asked my wife afterwards if she noticed her and she said she had no idea who I was talking about.

So a lot of lessons there for folks.

#1 - it really does matter how you carry yourself. Probably more so than how you look, in terms of drawing attention to yourself. So if you walk into a room with confidence, for the most part you'll hardly get a second glance.

#2 - even if you are awkward, and even if you are not fortunate enough to be at the point where you read as female upon strict scrutiny... most people really don't look that hard... which just proves why you don't have to be worried so much, bringing us back #1 on the list.

Love,
Allie

Figured it was a good week to try something new... so late last night I made a morning appointment for a manicure.

Liked the experience, like the result ... now we'll see how long it lasts, and how I feel about returning.

Quote from: imallie on September 09, 2024, 02:32:21 PMFigured it was a good week to try something new... so late last night I made a morning appointment for a manicure.

Liked the experience, like the result ... now we'll see how long it lasts, and how I feel about returning.

Keep experimenting. I finally found my "signature color" that I wear all the time. It doesn't matter if it doesn't match my outfit. I still get compliments on it. I'm glad you are still exploring new things!

Quoteit really does matter how you carry yourself. Probably more so than how you look, in terms of drawing attention to yourself. So if you walk into a room with confidence, for the most part you'll hardly get a second glance.

So true. I ran into a trans-woman once in a public bathroom and she was clearly terrified and being terrified drew my eye to her.

QuoteSo true. I ran into a trans-woman once in a public bathroom and she was clearly terrified and being terrified drew my eye to her.

When you think of all the life and death issues in the world around us, making people frightened to use the most appropriate bathroom should not be on anyone's list. I hope you made her feel a little more comfortable.

Love always -- Jess

Quote from: imallie on September 09, 2024, 02:32:21 PMFigured it was a good week to try something new... so late last night I made a morning appointment for a manicure.

Liked the experience, like the result ... now we'll see how long it lasts, and how I feel about returning.

Allie

Happy to hear that you liked the experience and results. I was getting my monthly mani/pedi when you posted. For, me if I do not have my nails done, I feel naked. 

Ellen

Well this is a first. And because I still don't EXACTLY understand the explanation of the very helpful social security lady who I know was being very complimentary... I just have to take it on faith that SHE gets it.

So it's been more than a month since I got my new SS card, and to date, my name has not updated in the Medicare system. It's supposed to be automatic — what with them both being government agencies sharing the same system. But they say to give it a month in extreme circumstances, so I did.

Called today, and a very helpful lady immediately said "Oh I can fix that!" - I gave her my SS# number, she said it would be done tomorrow when it updates.... And then she said "hmmm"

"Did just your middle name change?" I told her both did, although my first is just an "ie" away from my male name. "Ah," she said.

"May I ask a personal question?"

"Sure"

"Is your gender changing?"

"Yup"

"Oh boy, I have to talk to the people in that office," she said, laughing.

I got a bit worried, and told her at this point that when I came in I brought my legal name change, and I filled out the form to show that I was requesting a CHANGE of gender.

She said what she thinks happens is the rep looked at me, assumed I was always female and that was an error and I was instead requesting a CORRECTION of gender... or something like that... and it somehow got my paperwork lost in the ether.

I didn't quite get it.

"It's a compliment," she said. "Trust me, but I still need to talk to them. But it will all be fixed in the morning"

So I THINK it was a nice thing? I really still don't know what happened. But if I get a corrected card out of it, I honestly don't care too much. There are too many other things on the "to be changed" list obsess about any one in particular!

That reminds me of when I visited the Social Security Office for my update. The clerk looked at my paperwork and said 'I need to get my supervisor, I've never done a gender change before.' I told her to take her time, because I had never done one before, either. She laughed, and was able to get it taken care of.

Maybe I've just been lucky, but so far every state and federal office I've had to work with has been fine.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

What an affirming encounter, Allie. Happy for you!

The first time I visited, I had all of my documents in hand and the lady told me that I needed an amended birth certificate. I have no desire to pay the fee and wait 18 months for that to happen. I visited the SSA website and checked the documents list. It clearly states that a birth certificate OR court order OR other documentation is sufficient.

I emailed the SSA local office and told them what happened, that I have all of the required forms, and even quoted the page of the SSA Handbook that says what is required. I received a very polite letter apologizing for the confusion and that they had some new employees that were currently being trained, and that they would be happy to help me if I scheduled another appointment.

I scheduled a new appointment specifying that I needed a new SS card due to name and gender change. When I was called in for my appointment, a man was seated at the computer with two women looking over his shoulder. He handled everything very quickly as though he had done it a million times. I suspect the women were in training and watching how he processed the application. He even said, "You are all set, Ma'am."

That felt good.

That's a win dear!!