Thanks for letting me join this wonderful looking forum

I'm a transgender woman currently living in North Wales. I've been out for nearly three years now, and it's been an absolute joy to be free of my old male self.

It's not all been great, coming out meant the end of my marriage. I wish I could have been honest with myself several decades ago so that I didn't lie to both my wife and myself about who I was. There's a lot of guilt in my head about this and although my ex and I are friends, I know I hurt them badly.

My transition has (so far) been very positive. I first came out at work as it is a safe(ish) place because no one can be horrible to me without consequence, lol. Taking that step was hard because to me this was the biggest thing ever. It was huge! But what I've realised is that it was only massive to me. No one else cared that much, they read an email saying my name was now this, and I went by these pronouns and that was it. It was no big deal.

After that, I came out to the rest of the world (my close family / friends knew already because they knew the reasons my marriage ended) and was met with the same mix of support and disinterest I'd experienced at work.

One of the main things I've noticed throughout all this is that people are not bothered about trans people (at least in North Wales it seems). All the stuff on the internet and in the papers is a tiny amount of loud ->-bleeped-<-s. Most people have got so many ACTUAL concerns that what I choose to look like does not matter to them.

My medical transition has been slightly more frustrating because of the time it takes to get anything done. It took around 2 1/2 years to go from being referred to starting gender-affirming treatment. Everyone that I have dealt with has been fantastic. The doctors and nurses have been fully supportive and are highly critical of people that are not.

So that's where I'm at so far, it's taken a while but I feel like "me" for the first time. I feel involved in my own existence. And it's just wonderful.

Hope everyone here is ok xx

Hello Gwen

My name is Sarah B and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

It's nice to know that you have found a place where you can join in and share your experiences with other members of Susan's.

There are other members here on Susan's who's marriage has ended in divorce and remained friends and others that have survived even though the journey was very rough.  In this day and age there is a lot of support and it depends on where you are and things are improving all the time and of course given the current climate, there are set backs.

The delays associated with the NHS in getting treated is disgusting and others chose to go the private route and still used the NHS as well.  However, there are other members that are more versed in what goes on in the UK.

Its great that you now comfortable with yourself and things can only get better from here.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the Introductions Forum, of course.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.

Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features.  When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lori Dee
@Northern Star Girl
@Gwenatar

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Quote from: Gwenatar on October 05, 2024, 02:30:29 AMOne of the main things I've noticed throughout all this is that people are not bothered about trans people (at least in North Wales it seems). All the stuff on the internet and in the papers is a tiny amount of loud ->-bleeped-<-s. Most people have got so many ACTUAL concerns that what I choose to look like does not matter to them.

What a balanced take you have, Gwen, I'm glad it is working out for you. I think your experience in Wales is probably similar to how it works for most trans people in the UK. Once everyone knows, the majority of people are too wrapped up in their own issues to worry about anyone else's, but there's a small, very loud bunch of conservatives whose rants get amplified by social media and from there, by the press. I'm seeing the same names coming up over and over, and I'm sure you can name them as easily as I.

You'll find lots of friends here.

Quote from: Sarah B on October 05, 2024, 03:05:50 AMHello Gwen

My name is Sarah B and I would like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

It's nice to know that you have found a place where you can join in and share your experiences with other members of Susan's.

There are other members here on Susan's who's marriage has ended in divorce and remained friends and others that have survived even though the journey was very rough.  In this day and age there is a lot of support and it depends on where you are and things are improving all the time and of course given the current climate, there are set backs.

The delays associated with the NHS in getting treated is disgusting and others chose to go the private route and still used the NHS as well.  However, there are other members that are more versed in what goes on in the UK.

Its great that you now comfortable with yourself and things can only get better from here.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the Introductions Forum, of course.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these as well.

Please review the links at the end of this message, especially the red links, they include information which will help you navigate the site and use the available features.  When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile, until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact, the Forum Admin Danielle Northern Star Girl alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lori Dee
@Northern Star Girl
@Gwenatar

---

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images	Site Policies and stuff to remember
Cautionary Note	Membership Agreement

Hi Sarah, and thanks for the lovely welcome x

Quote from: TanyaG on October 05, 2024, 03:30:37 AMWhat a balanced take you have, Gwen, I'm glad it is working out for you. I think your experience in Wales is probably similar to how it works for most trans people in the UK. Once everyone knows, the majority of people are too wrapped up in their own issues to worry about anyone else's, but there's a small, very loud bunch of conservatives whose rants get amplified by social media and from there, by the press. I'm seeing the same names coming up over and over, and I'm sure you can name them as easily as I.

You'll find lots of friends here.

Hiya That's exactly right, and they aren't worth our energy.

It is strange that my evil nemesis turned out to be a children's book author though lol

Quote from: Gwenatar on October 05, 2024, 04:15:42 AMIt is strange that my evil nemesis turned out to be a children's book author though lol

Yeah, isn't that a thing? I used to wonder would anyone put so much energy into portraying trans people as a threat when we are a thousand times more likely to be threatened then they are (quite literally, when I work the stats out).

In the anxiously attached, conservative mind, anything that represents change from the status quo is to be feared. If that woman had been born in 1880, she would have fought against rights for women. That's the stupidity of it. It is such shame she's on the front pages so much, but I'm confident that in 20 years, she'll be regretting it. Remember Enoch Powell? Or Mary Whitehouse? Both were all over the press in their day and now people can't figure them out at all.

Quote from: TanyaG on October 05, 2024, 04:26:41 AMYeah, isn't that a thing? I used to wonder would anyone put so much energy into portraying trans people as a threat when we are a thousand times more likely to be threatened then they are (quite literally, when I work the stats out).

In the anxiously attached, conservative mind, anything that represents change from the status quo is to be feared. If that woman had been born in 1880, she would have fought against rights for women. That's the stupidity of it. It is such shame she's on the front pages so much, but I'm confident that in 20 years, she'll be regretting it. Remember Enoch Powell? Or Mary Whitehouse? Both were all over the press in their day and now people can't figure them out at all.

I wonder if they know their legacy will be "author and transphobe", because that is how they'll be remembered.

And as far as I'm concerned they're the ones with unhappy hate filled lives, whereas we're out there promoting joy

Quote from: Gwenatar on October 05, 2024, 05:18:00 AMI wonder if they know their legacy will be "author and transphobe", because that is how they'll be remembered.

I doubt they think that's where their reputation is going, but talking to my daughter's generation, that looks like where it's headed. Something like, 'Sold out, joined the establishment and fought for a lost cause long after everyone else knew the writing was on the wall' might be their epitaph, perhaps?

Hi!

   Welcome Gwen!


Chrissy

Waves from over the border in very south Worcestershire, hi dear it sound like my journey . Kicked out by the ex, no problem at work (apart from the east Europeans how were a bit off) and as you say no one cares who we are. TBH I just get positives, now just an old retired lady living on my own and doing what I like.

@Gwenatar

Hello Gwen,

Welcome to Susan's Place. What a wonderful introduction.

I have spoken with many people who agree with you. They say they do not care what we wear or do in the bedroom. What irritates them is when we shove it in their faces. Some become so irritated by civil rights activists that they become activists to counter the "threat". But, as you said, it is a small minority and overall I find most people accepting, maybe not quite supportive, but accepting.

Quote from: TanyaG on October 05, 2024, 05:31:51 AMI doubt they think that's where their reputation is going, but talking to my daughter's generation, that looks like where it's headed. Something like, 'Sold out, joined the establishment and fought for a lost cause long after everyone else knew the writing was on the wall' might be their epitaph, perhaps?

I can only hope so!

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on October 05, 2024, 06:53:30 AMHi!

   Welcome Gwen!


Chrissy

Hiya Chrissy

Quote from: davina61 on October 05, 2024, 07:37:20 AMWaves from over the border in very south Worcestershire, hi dear it sound like my journey . Kicked out by the ex, no problem at work (apart from the east Europeans how were a bit off) and as you say no one cares who we are. TBH I just get positives, now just an old retired lady living on my own and doing what I like.

And that's exactly how it should be. Hope you're enjoying retirement, I'm very much looking forward to that

Quote from: Lori Dee on October 05, 2024, 09:07:06 AM@Gwenatar

Hello Gwen,

Welcome to Susan's Place. What a wonderful introduction.

I have spoken with many people who agree with you. They say they do not care what we wear or do in the bedroom. What irritates them is when we shove it in their faces. Some become so irritated by civil rights activists that they become activists to counter the "threat". But, as you said, it is a small minority and overall I find most people accepting, maybe not quite supportive, but accepting.

And they're the same sort of people that said the same stuff about every minority who asked "hey, can you just treat us like human being please?". And I think they know they are loosing, that's why they're so angry.

We're so close to closing the door on bigotry.

And hi