You girls look great! I love the ladder in the mural, looks so real. Concert sounds like a lot of fun, wow the the flying Pink! Sounds like a 60's tv show.  

Thanks @Gina P !

I visited my dad and Susan again this weekend. It rained most of the time, so I wasn't able to do any mowing. I did clear off the driveway and move several large limbs which had fallen recently. My dad is now deaf, we must use a whiteboard to communicate with him. The new pain meds seem to be helping, but he has given up trying to eat solid food. He is only awake two or three hours a day. I think we will host Thanksgiving at his house this year. He can't travel, and we can't leave him alone. Next weekend, I'll help Susan get everything she needs.

I think my manager is worried. I told him how concerned I was about the election results, and mentioned that Arkansas has no laws which protect me. I asked him how long he thought it would take to hire someone so I could train them. He really doesn't want me to retire. He said he would contact HR to see if they have any resources which could help. At a minimum, I've started looking at houses in New Mexico.

Why New Mexico? I want to be someplace warm, where it doesn't snow often. I also want to be near wide open spaces. The cost of living in New Mexico is relatively low, although higher than Arkansas. New Mexico is ranked rather well for being LGBTQ+ friendly, and they have laws would protect me. Living near Albuquerque, Santa Fe, or Las Cruces would provide access to a wide range of medical care. We even have a long-time family friend in Albuquerque, so we would at least know one person over there. It's still to early to make the call, but it's not too early to plan.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on November 10, 2024, 07:47:51 PMWhy New Mexico? I want to be someplace warm, where it doesn't snow often. I also want to be near wide open spaces. The cost of living in New Mexico is relatively low, although higher than Arkansas. New Mexico is ranked rather well for being LGBTQ+ friendly, and they have laws would protect me. Living near Albuquerque, Santa Fe, or Las Cruces would provide access to a wide range of medical care. We even have a long-time family friend in Albuquerque, so we would at least know one person over there. It's still to early to make the call, but it's not too early to plan.

I have been looking there as well. Not at houses, but the general cost of living. It has mountains if you like snow (or gold prospecting) and a beautiful desert for rock hounding. If things get too dicey here, Mexico allows asylum for people persecuted due to gender or gender identity.

I won't be able to make any decisions until next year when I get a Decision Letter from the VA on my disability claims. If they upgrade my ratings, I can afford to move. If not, I'll be hitchhiking with you and Susan. 

Quote from: Lori Dee on November 10, 2024, 07:55:56 PMI have been looking there as well. Not at houses, but the general cost of living. It has mountains if you like snow (or gold prospecting) and a beautiful desert for rock hounding. If things get too dicey here, Mexico allows asylum for people persecuted due to gender or gender identity.

I won't be able to make any decisions until next year when I get a Decision Letter from the VA on my disability claims. If they upgrade my ratings, I can afford to move. If not, I'll be hitchhiking with you and Susan. 

You won't need to hitchhike, we'd be happy to give you a lift. You would be welcome to stay with us for a while. It would be great to hang out with a good friend. I hope you get good news.

I filled out the forms for a passport today, I've never had one. I plan to visit our local US Post Office tomorrow to get the process started. I have no idea if things will get that bad, but it would be nice to have the option to leave this place for a while. Susan's passport expired years ago, so we'll need to get hers renewed.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on November 11, 2024, 06:36:45 PMYou won't need to hitchhike, we'd be happy to give you a lift. You would be welcome to stay with us for a while. It would be great to hang out with a good friend. I hope you get good news.

I filled out the forms for a passport today, I've never had one. I plan to visit our local US Post Office tomorrow to get the process started. I have no idea if things will get that bad, but it would be nice to have the option to leave this place for a while. Susan's passport expired years ago, so we'll need to get hers renewed.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Genius thinks on the same track. 

I have never had a passport either. I traveled through Europe on my military ID. I looked over the application so I would know what documents I need. Better to have one and not need it...

I found land lots pretty cheap around the Deming and Silver Mountain area. I could get a ten-acre piece of dirt for $10K. Some have HOA fees if they are close to resorts or improved land, but who wants neighbors? Most of those lots don't even have trees. May be a place to park an RV while doing "home improvements". 

I was looking at the forms for a passport last night and plan to get mine in the works soon as well. I'm not planning on travel anytime soon but just want to get locked in with the right gender marker.

If you travel to and from Canada you can use a US passport driver's card. 
That way you do not need to have your Passport with you at the border crossing, just show your card.  Unsure but it might work for Mexico border passings.  Regardless, information is online and I think it costs $10 beyond what a passport cost.  I think you must have or apply for a passport when you apply for the passport driver's card. 

Interestingly, I believe there are four (4) parts of the USA that if you want to drive to and from them, you must drive through Canada.  Plus although far from Canada, there is a part of a Kentucky where to drive to and from it, you must drive through Tennessee.  It is called the Kentucky Bend.

Chrissy

The passport card is an extra $30. I don't know the different uses, but I decided to get the book and the card. More options are better. Even expedited (total cost around $240), it will take three to four weeks.

Susan and I have been thrown under the bus by my sister-in-law. Susan has been at my dad's house for over a month now, and she needs a break. My brother wanted to set up an alternating schedule to watch my dad, but his wife nixed the idea weeks ago. They are in another state right now, getting cancer treatment for their dog. This may sound a bit cold, but it seems they feel their dog is more important than our dad. To say I am disappointed in them is a massive understatement. We have no other friends or relatives who can step in. I had a text exchange with my sister-in-law yesterday:

Me: She's done. If this goes on much longer it may end our marriage.
SIL: Our dog is getting a chemo treatment.
Me: Susan is trapped in that house with nothing to do.
SIL: You have health POA. We are not in control of his treatment.

Yes, I do have a POA (Power of Attorney) for my dad's health care. I could have reminded her that I am also the executrix of my dad's will, but I'll leave that for another day.

Last week, Susan was woken up around 2:00am by my dad yelling about someone leaving the water running. He had gotten out of bed and was wandering around the living room. Susan tried to calm him down, then he said they were both in danger and had to get out of the house. He unlocked the back door and started to go outside before Susan stopped him. We can't lock him in his room, and we can no longer guarantee his safety. He isn't eating solid food, and he isn't drinking much. He needs 24/7 monitoring in a health care facility.

I'm going to my dad's house later today. We're going to try to talk my dad into going back to the care facility voluntarily. Susan said she can tough it out through Thanksgiving, but that's it. We've asked my dad about going back, but he replies 'they just want my money'. If we can't talk my dad into going voluntarily, I will have to force the issue. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Love always -- Jess

The passport card is for re-entry back into the States. The passport book is your identity papers while in a foreign country.

I truly sympathize with your situation. Susan is such a trooper for taking care of your dad. But I think you both realize what your limits are. It's not just the distance traveled, but this takes a toll on your physical and mental health. It is more complicated when you cannot be there physically beside here to help.

I think you are making a wise decision, and you know better than any of us what that situation is. If other family members want to complain, just ask them where they have been for the past year. I hope that everyone understands that you have your dad's best interests at heart and that any decision you make is for his benefit.

Massive hugs for you and Susan.

@Jessica_Rose  @Susan_Rose


                             

Best wishes to both of you. One of the chaps in our hot rod club is in care due to dementia and it costs £1500 per week, very expensive.

Jess,


Praying for all of you.


Christine

Such hard decisions! You clearly want what's best for your dad. What have you got to work with? You have the power to make the important decisions. You have the power to implement hard choices. I'm so glad you have this in place. You can writhe as you overcome your reluctance. You can count on us to cheer you on.

My thanks to everyone who replied, or had me in their thoughts.

Sometimes when the odds are stacked against you, the planets suddenly align and things fall into place.

I checked on my passport application a few days ago, and the website said it was 'under review'. Apparently it didn't need much review. It was in our mailbox when I got home today. Now we need to update Susan's passport.

Yesterday morning some fog rolled in just after sunrise. It was chilly, someone even stopped and asked me if I needed a ride! I did get some nice photos, but I haven't had a chance to review all of them yet. I did mow more of my dad's land, it was an area I had not been able to mow all year. It looks much better now.

Today was the day I dreaded the most, but luck was with us. This morning, my dad was coming out of his bedroom and fell while using his walker. He couldn't get up on his own, nor with Susan's help. I was outside when it happened, and when I came back in I was able to get him off the floor. He was unharmed. After lunch, I told him that Susan would like to go home after Thanksgiving. He said he understood, and was surprised that Susan had stayed as long as she did. He thanked her profusely for all of her help. I mentioned that my brother and his wife were still out of town, and I suggested the care facility where he had been earlier in the year. He agreed. Susan and I were both shocked and relieved. He is OK with us taking him back the weekend after Thanksgiving.

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Oh that sounds nice, except for the fall.

Chrissy

Beautiful picture.

And Amen!

See the universe looks after good folk and things do fall into place. That will be a load off your mind, hope you have a good Thanksgiving.

💖 Thank you for sharing your next steps regarding your father's care. We're with you!

Congratulations on your passport! [Sigh of relief]

I'm glad you were able to get your passport done! Yaa. 
In the midst of all the chaos of helping your father comes this beautiful calming picture. Hang in there girl.
Hugs Gina

Happy Thanksgiving Jess!

Chrissy