Hi everyone. Personally I have experience with my own parents mourning because I transitioned. They perceive it as a loss.

On the other hand there are some people that are legitimately happy for me. This really makes me wonder why it is perceived as a death or loss by some people.

Does anyone else find it strange that that's the society we live in? I do think that we become a different person but the fact that it's perceived by some people like we "died" seems really strange to me.

We are usually quite skilled at creating the false personas that we hide behind for so long... That is truly their only reference point until we decide to move beyond hiding... From that point on, our true self can be all uncharted territory for others
... accompanied by all the fears that can come with the unknown... despite the hiding we have had some sense of ourselves for all or most of our lives but, for them this is a very new rabbit being pulled out of the hat... it can take a good bit of time for others to re-make long held images of who we are... give them time and space and be gentle with them and yourself... All shall be well

Hugs!

Ashley 💕

Quote from: CosmicJoke on November 12, 2024, 10:31:10 AMHi everyone. Personally I have experience with my own parents mourning because I transitioned. They perceive it as a loss.

On the other hand there are some people that are legitimately happy for me. This really makes me wonder why it is perceived as a death or loss by some people.

Does anyone else find it strange that that's the society we live in? I do think that we become a different person but the fact that it's perceived by some people like we "died" seems really strange to me.

It is not strange. You have to consider how people live. Parents especially. A good deal of the time, they wrap up a vast majority of themselves in their offspring. You are their hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow. It is not so much about you as it is about their hopes for you. You are to them, and to a lesser extent, spouses... an ideal of what they want.

We are not... to most people... ourselves. We are the image they have of us. And that image does not come from us, it comes from them. So there's very little we can do about it. We are who they want us to be. And some people never escape from that because they would rather be that image than be nothing. But that's how people work. The reflection of every single person is coloured by the mirror of other peoples' eyes. When someone acts like the person they thought you were is dead... that's very real to them. It might be very real to you, too. Because you get caught up with it, or don't have the self belief to form your own identity.

We are all actors in a play. The difference is some people know it's a play. Most don't.

Quote from: Sephirah on November 13, 2024, 03:21:54 PMIt is not strange. You have to consider how people live. Parents especially. A good deal of the time, they wrap up a vast majority of themselves in their offspring. You are their hopes and dreams for a better tomorrow. It is not so much about you as it is about their hopes for you. You are to them, and to a lesser extent, spouses... an ideal of what they want.

We are not... to most people... ourselves. We are the image they have of us. And that image does not come from us, it comes from them. So there's very little we can do about it. We are who they want us to be. And some people never escape from that because they would rather be that image than be nothing. But that's how people work. The reflection of every single person is coloured by the mirror of other peoples' eyes. When someone acts like the person they thought you were is dead... that's very real to them. It might be very real to you, too. Because you get caught up with it, or don't have the self belief to form your own identity.

We are all actors in a play. The difference is some people know it's a play. Most don't.

Wow, very well said. I like this explanation.
Hits the nail on the head.