Quote from: TonyaW on May 27, 2019, 11:35:11 AM
I am truly sorry if something I posted offended and I certainly did not mean for this diagram to be taken seriously. I only posted it due to Moni's excitement over venn diagrams.

Its got male and female on the ends and the arrows pointing out that they are not orientations and should also point to the intersex area. Maybe whoever made it thinks placing that note immediately under the intersex area was enough to indicate that, but it its unclear even if that's what was intended.
It's also not inclusive of non binary people. I'd assume that they just ignored  them and trans people rather than including them in male and female. At least they didn't separate us out.



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You did not offend me, it is just this way the body conditions of us intersex people get mixed up with gender and/or sexuality.  We were born like this, different from most people, it is almost as if we were born without arm or with 4 arms, or whatever you can think of.  Most of the time we can live like any other person, but sometimes this funny biological condition does not allow us to live like "normal" people.
However, as I said already, this has nothing to do with my sexual orientation, and also not if I am trans or not.  Many intersex people live happily in the gender role they were assigned to, I tried ist for quite some time, and it did not work out in the long run. 
And I transitioned, and my body condition was of an advantage for this, because I looked and felt mostly female already.  Becoming a woman was almost like a piece of cake for me (one thing the biology of my body was helpful for me), but my sexual orientation was not influenced by any of this.
I was into women when I was a man, and I am into women now as a woman, nothing changed.
I do not want to connect my sexual orientation with my gender (I still have not a real solid gender identity).
I don't know if I am different in this than other trans women who lived in a clearly define body (cis male type), because I never had the feeling that my brain lived in the wrong body (and as I know now, my body was mostly female anyway, and that seemed to have been pretty OK for my brain).

Again, every intersex person is different, there are no real guidelines for chromosomes to follow, on how to mess up a body!

Quote from: CindyLouFromCO on December 26, 2018, 10:08:25 PMI feel the same as you.  I like guys.  However I do think women are pretty.  One thing I learned after transitioning is the sisterhood in compliments about our beautiful selfs.  All women are beautiful in their own way.

We check each other out too.  You learn to use mirrors and when to look and not.

Guys are cute, hot and sexy.  At least to me 🙂

Thank you for starting this very interesting topic, Bev!

I'm in agreement with you and Cindy on this one. Guys ARE cute, hot, and sexy. I'm happy I picked the right one! 
              

Like Cindy, I also appreciate feminine beauty and the female form. But once I embraced my own femininity by starting my transition, I was free to express my admiration of and attraction to men and masculine energy which I had denied myself growing up.

I only dated women up until age 25 or so, and then I started experimenting with men sexually. I still thought I was romantically and emotionally only attracted to women, however.

All of my relationships with women eventually ended in heartbreak, however.

I finally realized I was trying to be something I'm not, and in 2014 I discovered this message board and realized I was probably trans.

I had flings with both women and men, and was addicted to mmf threesomes for a while. I am sexually attracted to both men and women, and considered seeking some kind of alternative relationship like a polyamorous triad.

My last sexual encounter with a woman took place in 2019. Interestingly enough she identified as a lesbian.

Then the pandemic happened, and approaching 40 I knew I wanted to settle down. Deep down, I knew I just wasn't the man I myself would want to have as a partner if I were female.

So at the end of 2022, after taking female hormones on and off since 2014, I decided to have an orchiectomy. Even if I found myself in a polyamorous relationship that included a woman, I'd rather have the man in that relationship father our children if we ever were to start a family together.

I met a wonderful man six months ago, and after I long hiatus I returned here.

Quote from: sarahc on January 05, 2019, 05:17:11 AMThat sounds like a very cool study. I have always definitely wanted to be desired - totally makes sense now why I was terrible at attracting women as a man. I was way too passive.

Hi Sarah,

This does indeed sound like a very cool study, but speaking from my own personal experience as an 18-25 year old adult,

Quote from: Beverly Anne on January 04, 2019, 08:44:04 PMI hope it happens and you participate. I'm attracted to both genders and date both men and women. I've learned that I enjoy the company of women more, relate to them better, but don't feel as physically attracted to them or appreciated as a more feminine woman. On the other hand, I'm more physically attracted to men, but they're idiots and don't know what a woman needs emotionally and intellectually to feel genuinely admired for more than our bodies. I know I just haven't found the right girl or guy yet. Dating as a transgender woman is the pits. The field is narrow. It's draining. It's frustrating. But, I'm not throwing in the panty hose just yet.   

Hey Bev, I appreciate the forum topic and your previous posts, but why did your true feelings about genders and sex have to wait 'til the 3rd page?

I really appreciate your comments and sentiments otherwise, which are in fact are very close to my own.

Just sayin'

xoxo,
M

Quote from: HappyMoni on May 24, 2019, 11:27:04 PM@JanePlain  If you are still interested, I have one answer. I missed your question earlier. For me, looking at orientation change as a result of one factor doesn't make any sense. It was transition that did this to me. For me, I lived life from the perspective of a man because that is what my only choice was. I was genuinely attracted to girls and later women. I was not repressing any desires for men, they weren't there. Through the process of transition, my whole perspective on the world changed. More importantly, my view of myself changed. How I fit in the world evolved as a result of this and being with a man sexually  is really something that becomes right. I guess I thought I could explain it better, but essentially, it is not one change but the whole perspective of life change that makes such a switch possible. I think a big part of it for me is a control thing. Trying to be a guy, we are supposed to be in control, including sexually. It was never a natural thing for me but its what I had and I did it. As a woman, my joy, my natural inclination is vulnerability. It is now allowed and it is pretty compelling to give a certain control over to a man. The thought now fits in with my identification as a woman. You start having guys treat you different, and  the way you interact is no longer as one of them but as something apart. You start  liking their attention and you like being noticed, maybe being  checked out if you are lucky. They become attractive to you. It's surprising, a lot weird at first, and pretty damn inconvenient.

This is such a great reply, I don't know how I missed it, but I can so relate to that experience, it's just so me.
I had absolutely no interest in men intimately before my transition and loved dating women, transition changed everything, I have a completely different experience with men and a different kind of attention, doors getting held open and guys being really nice, one guy was very persistent asking for my number and sending me flowers, it felt so weird, I eventually went out on my first date with him, after years dating women, I now had a boyfriend, and that first kiss, OMG I'm kissing a man unbelievably, when I got my SRS and transition complete I never dated women again, it was very challenging dating men after years dating women, I did give up a lot of control I had as a guy, but it feels right now as a woman, I dated a few men after that, then a boyfriend proposed and we got engaged, we're still married after 13 years, a wonderful husband that accepts me for the woman I am.   

I am bi but I lean more towards men.

Most times I look at another woman I'm more making note of how she did her hair if I like it. What clothes is she wearing and that kind of thing.

But a guy. There is the smell. The presence and the thrill. It's hard to explain.

Quote from: Beverly Anne on December 26, 2018, 05:20:57 PMThis is a very personal thing, and I hesitate to ask, but it's a burning question I have. I know way more trans women who are attracted to other women. I feel like I'm in the minority being attracted to men. I love being admired by men, and it really affirms my female sexuality. What about you girls?

My sexuality is as fluid as my gender. Even before starting hrt, I enjoyed the attention and company of men when I used to cross-dress. Now, as I fully embrace my female identity, I find myself completely attracted to cisgender men—we resonate there, so you're not alone.

When I'm in 'guy mode,' I have a soft spot for both cis and trans women, not so much for trans men. But at one of my tg/gnc groups at my local lgbtqa+ center, the majority—about 90%—are trans men, and I truly enjoy interacting with them. In fact, I recently met a trans man who's amazing with makeup and offered to help me with mine!

So, don't know if this will lead to anything, I guess time will tell.

I only have a sexual desire with women.

Hi Everyone

From an early age, I always longed to be female.  These thoughts were deeply personal, and I never shared them with anyone.  I didn't try to push them away either; they were simply a part of who I am.

I often admired other women's bodies, but this was more about appreciation than anything romantic or sexual. It felt like a natural human behavior, not something rooted in attraction.

Before I changed my life around, I did not have any intimate relationships with either women or men.  While I liked girls and went on dates, something inside me always held me back from taking things further.  I felt puzzled and disconnected, as if I couldn't quite understand why I didn't want to pursue those relationships.  At the time, I considered myself heterosexual.

When it came to men, they weren't even on my radar.  However, I had two close male friends before I changed my life around, and over time, I realized I loved one of them.  That realization became one of the reasons I decided to make such a significant change in my life.

After I changed my life around, I found myself naturally drawn to men.  I started relationships with men, however; I did not have intimate relationships with them until after I had surgery.

Even though I'm completely happy living as a heterosexual woman, I still find some women visually attractive.  That does not mean I want to have sex with them, but I'm open to the possibility that it could happen one day.  For now, it just hasn't been part of my experience.

Looking back, sex and attraction were almost non existent for me before I changed my life around.  I didn't find boys appealing and while I liked girls, I wasn't interested in having sex with them.  I suppose my sexuality needed time to fully develop.  These days, I consider myself about 95% straight and maybe 5% gay (you never know), which feels like the most honest description of how I see myself.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

Your journey of self-discovery is both profound and inspiring. Sexuality and identity can evolve over time, and it's completely natural to reflect on how your feelings and attractions have developed. It's great that you've found a place where you feel comfortable and authentic in your life.

Quote from: romulsdefroz on January 31, 2025, 04:52:21 PMYour journey of self-discovery is both profound and inspiring. Sexuality and identity can evolve over time, and it's completely natural to reflect on how your feelings and attractions have developed. It's great that you've found a place where you feel comfortable and authentic in your life.

Welcome, romulsdefroz!

Chrissy

Quote from: romulsdefroz on January 31, 2025, 04:52:21 PMSexuality and identity can evolve over time,

Yes, from everything I've read about sexuality, and gender they're two separate things.

Oh, and I just noticed, it's your first post. Welcome to the forums, romulsdefroz! 🤗✨


~ Lilis

I am not attracted to people in sexual terms. Which freaks people out. But it is what it is. I just don't see people in that way. I couldn't if I wanted to. I don't care if you're male, female, non-binary, attack helicopter, bacon sandwich... whatever. If you engage me mentally, make me smile, allow me to see the beauty behind your eyes... that's what I find attractive. I have no preference when it comes to physical beauty, other than the beauty of the individual beyond how they look.

You're always going to get the short straw in a relationship with me, lol. It will always be beauty and the beast. But... yeah, the only thing I'm really attracted to is the parts of people that you can't really show off with figure hugging clothes, or makeup, or implants.

You had me at "attack helicopter" with "bacon sandwich". 

Quote from: Lori Dee on January 31, 2025, 05:30:27 PMYou had me at "attack helicopter" with "bacon sandwich". 

You always know how to make me giggle like a schoolgirl. Thank you, Lori. That means more than you know. <3

Quote from: Sephirah on January 31, 2025, 05:36:33 PMYou always know how to make me giggle like a schoolgirl. Thank you, Lori. That means more than you know. <3

I enjoy the way you think and put thoughts and concepts together.

I mean who wouldn't want an attack helicopter bacon sandwich

Sign me up!

Quote from: Lori Dee on January 31, 2025, 05:39:05 PMI enjoy the way you think and put thoughts and concepts together.

I mean who wouldn't want an attack helicopter bacon sandwich

Sign me up!

Just some of the weird and wonderful stuff I've seen online. It kind of sticks with you, haha. Although I think if I ever met someone who identified as a bacon sandwich, they would probably have to sleep with one eye open.

Hi Lori and Sephirah

  OK ladies. Let's get back on topic please.

(This excludes me!  )

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lori Dee @Sephirah

Quote from: Sarah B on January 31, 2025, 10:52:29 PMHi Lori and Sephirah

  OK ladies. Let's get back on topic please.

(This excludes me!  )

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lori Dee @Sephirah

I deserved that.
I can't help it. I am attracted to attack helicopters and bacon sandwiches. 

Hi Lori

When I saw those posts I immediately thought of the post you made about 'getting back on topic'!  I cracked it and of course I had too make that post.

In Sydney long time ago travelling to a place called Woolongong by train for work.  I used to have a bacon roll for breakfast.  Train and Bacon Roll!  Eat that!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lori Dee @Sephirah

Quote from: Sarah B on January 31, 2025, 10:52:29 PMHi Lori and Sephirah

  OK ladies. Let's get back on topic please.

(This excludes me!  )

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lori Dee @Sephirah

Quote from: Lori Dee on January 31, 2025, 10:56:05 PMI deserved that.
I can't help it. I am attracted to attack helicopters and bacon sandwiches. 

Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa 😂🤣😂