An unsaid cd factor is that our transgender desires grow with our age. I know it has been true for me and have many other cd's say the same thing. It seems most of us who live full time are older. I wonder if that is true about TS's too?

I voted yes and I'm a TV/CD who is 49 years old.

Love
DebTV

From this thread: Re: Is crossdressing a very mild form of transsexualism?
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,3007.new.html#new

I definate yes for me and I am a CD.

I would say transgender grows with age and experience. As we experience more  and gain more knowlege of being transgender our desires grow.

Alice

For myself anyway, there wasn't any place for me to find out what I was when I was young.  I knew something was "different" about me when I was about 6, but where would you find information about that in 1950?   I was too young to look it up even if it was available.

I always knew, I always wanted to become a woman, I made the decision after my kids were born to wait, it was not easy, but now I must say that as you get older you become more aware of what you have sacrificed by not transitioning earlier in life.

And in my case, yes, the feelings did get much more intense and urgent.

Sarah L.

I'm not sure any of this makes any sense, but I will leave it anyway.

I voted yes, though I should clarify that the "desire" hasn't really changed (it's always been the foremost thought on my mind since childhood), but the urgency to DO something about it is suddenly overwhelming. Chalk it up to reaching middle age, or perhaps the desire ripening or maturing... but only now, at 41.9 years, am I finally taking steps to bring about physical changes. The "maybe someday..." ploy suddenly lost it's effectiveness, and now I'm desperately scrambling to find a practical, physical solution while I still have some good years left to me.

An absolute no. In fact I have never had any "transgender" desires. I suppose that is why I wouldn't accept that I was female at my core for most of my life. ->-bleeped-<- (transsexual) is something I am, not something that I ever desired to be. Nor do I desire it now, although it is what—medically speaking—I am and have accepted.

Once accepted I could embrace it and do something about it (transition). Also I do not desire to be female anymore, as I have already happily accepted that I am female. The only thing left—if funds ever permit—is SRS, but that doesn't keep me from being female or acceptance as such. It would however unlock a few more doors.

What my desire is, is just to be who I am, and that is a woman not a transsexual or transgendered. The medical community may still concider labeling me as transgendered, but I think any transsexual who desires to hang onto the "transsexual" or "transgendered" label has short changed themself. Transsexualism shouldn't just be accepted, but overcome.

As far as transvestites I cannot comment as I do not fully understand them, but possibly that is where there is more room for this kind of discussion. From talking to therapists and reading, I understand that transvestites have desires and fetishes to be female at varrying times, while still being male at the core.

Sandi that is very close to how I view this whole road.

You see, I have no desire to be TS and the fact I am is only cuz I have a birth defect who labeled me has male, later in my childhood things started to happen that made me realize I was a girl.

So im a woman first, TS second and only cuz its something it happenned.


I just want to be me, a woman nothing more or less. But I have found some ppl who wish they were TG or at least achieve some status when they are recognized has TG...

My goal is asimilation, to be seen, feel, talk, etc, etc... LIVE has a woman who is me.


Although, In another way we can understand this topic that when you start transitioning:

Let me share something:

When I started transitioning, I was tolerating some things, like I was using male clothes and nothing femenine.

I started with therapy cuz I feel I needed it.
I waited till I feel mones were totally needed and so I get them.
Time passed and I started to feel anmosity towards my clothes, I hated them and so soon I went FT.
FT was cuz I need it, not cuz I was ready and so far is wonderful.

Im transitioned by now, and im feeling that I need to reach SRS soon.

I agree that "desires" isn't the best word choice.  I think "feelings", which is what I took it to mean, would have been better.

Melissa

 I voted yes. In my youth I had feeling from time to time of wanting to be female. I wanted to be with the girls more than the boys. I knew I wanted to be female. Unfortionatly I had to stick with being male  for much of my life. But being older now I feel the female side much stronger than any other time in my life. So I think yes transgender grows with age.

love being female
owen

I don't know if desire is the right word or me.  "Accepting" and "Embracing" might be better, again, for me.

I recently went through my journal and posts here at Susans.  I see such an incredible change in confidence over my short time here.   My true self is emerging and charting her course.

Chaunte

I really have no knowledge of it the need to change increases, it's been there since I began meeting and working with people.  I do know that the need to do something about it grows with time though.

I began transition in late 1969, but I couldn't hang in there with the wages and non support back then and so I moved to another town and went full swing into being male.  The male part lasted perhpas 20 years and I began to dress whenever possible and decided to go for it again.  I lost my job and couldn't find suitable work, so with the help of friends I found a job in sacramento as a medical courier and moved here in 2000 and went to work as a TG.

Things went ok for me though there were numerous complaints.  I ignored them and continued on and started hormons.  The docs weren't happy about this as I have HEP C, but after 2 strokes about a year apart They will no longer perscribe them to me now so I simply have to go on with what almost 3 years on HRT did for me.  I'm happy.  Things are in progress still to make what I need for surgery and I should be there at the end of this year or early next year.   A half year out of work took its toll on me and I have to recoup the money I spent.  Oh well, just about average for the TS's I know.

Terri

I would have to say that they haven't grown for me, but finding out that there were others and that I could transition made my decision easier. Once I let it be OK for me to get rid of my abnormality, I found I had a new way of thinking. I'm not depressed anymore as I have always been in a state of depression. I only wished that I could have done this years ago. My inwardness wouldn't let me do what I wanted to do. I only wanted to fit in and that was get married, raise a family and live happily ever after. I did the first two, but almost died unhappily ever after. I'm 57 now and had my surgery at 54 and came out to people I cared about, 10 years ago.
Sheila

Still growning and still finding my way. I think the word discovery fits best.

Jillieann

no

Interesting question, and poll.

Yes. For me, it's less about my desires growing and more about gaining clarity and acceptance of who I am as I've aged. At the time this was written, I thought I was just a cross-dresser. But over time, I've come to better understand myself and feel more confident in embracing my authentic identity.

Mt dysphoria increased as I got older and I pondered a couple of possibilities. One was that my frustrations were compounding. Each year I didn't affirm my identity my frustrations were carried on to the next year. The other was that by late 40's, my Testosterone was falling. As my T levels reduced, my need to affirm my identity increased.

I think it may have been both factors driving up my dysphoria. I was able to somewhat limit the dysphoria rise by progressively more affirming actions, but I was never able to go as far as I needed, so my frustration grew. Prior to HRT my T fell enough to atrophy my genitals, and I believe this contributed to my increasing dysphoria.

Of course, these are observations about my experiences, and I have not found many others with similar experiences, so I could not say these factors are shared.

Hugs,

Allie

I noticed something similar.
 
In high school my dysphoria was present but I didn't know why I felt the way I did. As I got older, I became less and less concerned about "putting on a show" and felt more inclined to focus on being happy and doing what I wanted to do.

I can't say it was related to hormones, but I was becoming a "crotchety old geezer". Therapy helped me learn what was causing my issues and how to go about my life as the authentic me. Even now, coming up on five years on HRT, my dysphoria greatly affects my life. Where I had hope that I could do some things to quell this discomfort (electrolysis, surgery) finally, that hope has faded and this only compounds my issues. I now need to focus on keeping my depression at bay every single day.

I suppose they have.  Feelings started to become more intense in grad school.  In some of the years before that, I cross dressed but I did not associate being transgender per se.  I felt a lot more as myself with the female clothes then though, except for the sneering of being a dude in a skirt, etc.

Chrissy